EXCESS EAR WAX SUFFOCATION REALLY GROSS SKIN FALLING NOSE HAIRS INFECTED TATTOOS GUNSHOT WOUNDS ELASTIC POISONING UNPROVOKED WEEPING DISLOCATED CROTCH COMPLETE HAIRLESSNESS NINE MILE FEVER MIGRATING BEAUTY MARK UNDESCENDED TESTICLE CHICKEN BREASTEDNESS BOTCHED CIRCUMCISION GHOST LIMBS INDUSTRIAL DEAFNESS HAMMERTOE DOUBLE RECTUM FALLEN WOMB INVERTED NIPPLES OUT-OF-CONTROL MOLES TRANSIENT SLURRED SPEECH WATER ON THE PROFILE SALINE DEPLETION GENDER AGONY NEGATIVE BUOYANCY CURVATURE OF THE MIND INFECTED DIMPLE BURNED AT THE STAKE BUBONIC PLAGUE BLACK DEATH MORNING SICKNESS SUBDURAL HEMATOMA GRAND MAL SEIZURE SPASTIC BLADDER BRAIN TUMOR NIPPLE SEEP DRY TEETH SIX-FOOT NOSE HAIRS PASSED BALLS MIDNASAL DRIP CHAPPED ASS SPEAR WOUNDS TONSILLITIS CLAP CRUCIFIXION TOTAL BODY DIMPLING FEAR OF CLOTHING SINGLE NOSTRIL HORSE SERUM SENSITIVITY COKE BOTTLE IN THE ASS HEN WORKERS LUNG SEXTUPLE AMPUTEEISM HEREDITY FRUCTOSE INTOLERANCE MORTONS FOOT HUTCHINSONS FRECKLE ORIENTAL NIGHTMARE DEATH SYNDROME RUM FITS LIDOCAINE POISONING IRREGULAR GAIT GENITAL MEASLES SPRAINED MIND ICHTHYOSIS LACK OF HUSTLE HYPERDYDROSIS FROTHING AT THE CROTCH ALZHEIMERS DISEASE WET BRAIN PRESENILITY DEMENTIA LAETRILE OVERDOSE MUNCHAUSENS SYNDROME PAVEMENT BURN NASAL HERPES CLUSTER HEADACHES HUNCHBACK VAGINAL CLOSURE CANCER OF THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE CIRCUMCISION BLUNDER SEVERE UNREMITTING PAIN COMPLETE NERVOUS COLLAPSE SIXTY-YEAR COMA RIGOR MORTIS DECAPITATION SWIMMERS ITCH BEEF TAPEWORM SHORT-LIMBED DWARFISM TICK-BORNE RICKETS KOPLIKS SPOTS IMPETIGO GAS GANGRENE TRANSVERSE MYELITIS MALNUTRITION IRRITABILITY NONPRODUCTIVE COUGH SIMPLE MALAISE EPIDEMIC KERATOCONJUNCTIVITIS FURIOUS RABIES BLACK VOMIT DANDY FEVER EUROPEAN TYPHUS BRILL-ZINSSER DISEASE CAT SCRATCH DISEASE STITCH ABSCESSES STRAWBERRY TONGUE PASTIAS LINES AFRICAN SLEEPING SICKNESS WOOLSORTERS DISEASE CAULIFLOWER EAR ZUCCHINI NOSE PARACOCCIDIO IDOMYCOSIS DESERT RHEUMATISM LUMPY JAW MADURA FOOT HOOKWORM ORIENTAL SORE ALEPPO BOIL FOREST YAWS SWIMMING POOL GRANULOMA CARDIAC DEATH WHIPWORM INFECTION GEOPHAGIA RIVER BLINDNESS TOTAL COLLAPSE JEWELRY RASH TERMINAL BROWSING MAIDENLY HYSTERICS MARROW FAILURE PICA RIBOFLAVIN DEFICIENCY MEDITERRANEAN ANEMIA AIR EMBOLISM VASCULAR FRAGILITY DRUG-INDUCED PLATELET DEFECTS FELTYS SYNDROME BOWEL INFARCTION TETRALOGY OF FALLOT BUNDLE BRANCH BLOCK SUDDEN MEGACOLON RAYNAUDS PHENOMENON YOUNG ORIENTAL FEMALE DISEASE INTESTINAL APOPLEXY OCCLUSION AT THE BIFURCATION MILK LEG HOMANS SIGN CONSTANT SCREAMING TOTAL BODY HEMORRHAGING MISSING LUNGS EXTRA STOMACH LARVAE IN THE STOOL BEBOP LEGS FOREHEAD TRANSPLANT TUMOR ON THE BUNS HUGE SPLEEN CHRONIC FALLING CYSTS ON THE WRISTS SUDDEN TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS
Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
? HYPERLINK file:///E:\\Documents%20and%20Settings\\Dom\\Desktop\\1791_NapalmSillyPutty%5B1%5D\\Napalm_body-contents.html \l TOC-32 ??GOT ANY MORE LEAVES IN THAT STALL? ?
Recently I came across a statistic published by the Population Reference Bureau in Washington. It stated that as of 1995 the number of people who had lived on earth was 105,472,380,169. The figure was based on the assumption that the first two people had emerged in 50,000 B.C. So I did a little arithmetic of my own, and Ive concluded that as of 1995 there had been over 987 trillion bowel movements. I was very conservative: I assumed a mere thirty-year life span and only six bowel movements per week. Still, it means that at this point there have been almost 1 quadrillion human bowel movements and most of them occurred before people had anything to read. These are the kinds of thoughts that kept me from moving quickly up the corporate ladder.
? HYPERLINK file:///E:\\Documents%20and%20Settings\\Dom\\Desktop\\1791_NapalmSillyPutty%5B1%5D\\Napalm_body-contents.html \l TOC-33 ??DEATH ROW ?
The story is that if youre condemned to death they have to give you one last meal of your choice. What is that all about? A group of people plans to kill you, so they want you to eat something you like? Is it a joke? Do they think the food part will take your mind off the dying part? Or do they just prefer to kill you when youre coming off a peak experience and full of positive energy?
Im not sure what kind of sick game is going on, but what the hell, you might as well play along. Have a little fun; order a Happy Meal. Tell em you want to go to Hooters and eat on the patio.
Inform them youve converted
to a religion that embraces cannibalism, and youd like to eat a baby. With a small salad. I just think theres great potential here for fun and mischief. In fact, Im thinking that if you worked it just right you might even squeeze a little extra time out of them. Time to file a couple of hundred more frivolous appeals.
Because, as I understand it, they have to give you any meal you ask for. Not including elephant, of course. You cant expect them to start on a whole new elephant for just one meal. But short of that, they have to give you pretty much what you want. Its part of the humanity involved: Lets kill this fuck, but lets be civil.