Care keeps his watch in every old mans eye,
And where care lodges sleep will never lie;
But where unbruised youth with unstuffd brain
Doth couch his limbs, there golden sleep doth reign.
Therefore thy earliness doth me assure
Thou art uprousd with some distemperature;
Or if not so, then here I hit it right,
Our Romeo hath not been in bed tonight.
Romeo
That last is true; the sweeter rest was mine.
Friar Lawrence
God pardon sin. Wast thou with Rosaline?
Romeo
With Rosaline, my ghostly father? No.
I have forgot that name, and that names woe.
Friar Lawrence
Thats my good son. But where hast thou been then?
Romeo
Ill tell thee ere thou ask it me again.
I have been feasting with mine enemy,
Where on a sudden one hath wounded me
Thats by me wounded. Both our remedies
Within thy help and holy physic lies.
I bear no hatred, blessed man; for lo,
My intercession likewise steads my foe.
Friar Lawrence
Be plain, good son, and homely in thy drift;
Riddling confession finds but riddling shrift.
Romeo
Then plainly know my hearts dear love is set
On the fair daughter of rich Capulet
As mine on hers, so hers is set on mine;
And all combind, save what thou must combine
By holy marriage. When, and where, and how
We met, we wood, and made exchange of vow,
Ill tell thee as we pass; but this I pray,
That thou consent to marry us today.
Friar Lawrence
Holy Saint Francis! What a change is here!
Is Rosaline, that thou didst love so dear,
So soon forsaken? Young mens love then lies
Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.
Jesu Maria, what a deal of brine
Hath washd thy sallow cheeks for Rosaline!
How much salt water thrown away in waste,
To season love, that of it doth not taste.
The sun not yet thy sighs from heaven clears,
Thy old groans yet ring in mine ancient ears.
Lo here upon thy cheek the stain doth sit
Of an old tear that is not washd off yet.
If ere thou wast thyself, and these woes thine,
Thou and these woes were all for Rosaline,
And art thou changd? Pronounce this sentence then,
Women may fall, when theres no strength in men.
Romeo
Thou chiddst me oft for loving Rosaline.
Friar Lawrence
For doting, not for loving, pupil mine.
Romeo
And badst me bury love.
Friar Lawrence
Not in a grave
To lay one in, another out to have.
Romeo
I pray thee chide me not, her I love now
Doth grace for grace and love for love allow.
The other did not so.
Friar Lawrence
O, she knew well
Thy love did read by rote, that could not spell.
But come young waverer, come go with me,
In one respect Ill thy assistant be;
For this alliance may so happy prove,
To turn your households rancour to pure love.
Romeo
O let us hence; I stand on sudden haste.
Friar Lawrence
Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast.
[Exeunt.]
Scene IV
A Street. Enter Benvolio and Mercutio.
Mercutio
Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home tonight?
Benvolio
Not to his fathers; I spoke with his man.
Mercutio
Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, torments him so that he will sure run mad.
Benvolio
Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet, hath sent a letter to his fathers house.
Mercutio
A challenge, on my life.
Benvolio
Romeo will answer it.
Mercutio
Any man that can write may answer a letter.
Benvolio
Nay, he will answer the letters master, how he dares, being dared.
Mercutio
Alas poor Romeo, he is already dead, stabbed with a white wenchs black eye; run through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boys butt-shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
Benvolio
Why, what is Tybalt?
Mercutio
More than Prince of cats. O, hes the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rest, one, two, and the third in your bosom: the very butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal passado, the punto reverso, the hay.
Benvolio
The what?
Mercutio
The pox of such antic lisping, affecting phantasies; these new tuners of accent. By Jesu, a very good blade, a very tall man, a very good whore. Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these pardon-mes, who stand so much on the new form that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? O their bones, their bones!
Enter Romeo.
Benvolio
Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!
Mercutio
Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura, to his lady, was but a kitchen wench, marry, she had a better love to berhyme her: Dido a dowdy; Cleopatra a gypsy; Helen and Hero hildings and harlots; Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose. Signior Romeo, bonjour! Theres a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
Romeo
Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
Mercutio
The slip sir, the slip; can you not conceive?
Romeo
Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
Mercutio
Thats as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
Romeo
Meaning, to curtsy.
Mercutio
Thou hast most kindly hit it.
Romeo
A most courteous exposition.
Mercutio
Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
Romeo
Pink for flower.
Mercutio
Right.
Romeo
Why, then is my pump well flowered.
Mercutio
Sure wit, follow me this jest now, till thou hast worn out thy pump, that when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain after the wearing, solely singular.
Romeo
O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!
Mercutio
Come between us, good Benvolio; my wits faint.
Romeo
Swits and spurs, swits and spurs; or Ill cry a match.
Mercutio
Nay, if thy wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done. For thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits, than I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the goose?
Romeo
Thou wast never with me for anything, when thou wast not there for the goose.
Mercutio
I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
Romeo
Nay, good goose, bite not.
Mercutio
Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce.
Romeo
And is it not then well served in to a sweet goose?
Mercutio
O heres a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad.
Romeo
I stretch it out for that word broad, which added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
Mercutio
Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature. For this drivelling love is like a great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
Benvolio
Stop there, stop there.
Mercutio
Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
Benvolio
Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
Mercutio
O, thou art deceived; I would have made it short, for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant indeed to occupy the argument no longer.
Enter Nurse and Peter.
Romeo
Heres goodly gear!
A sail, a sail!
Mercutio
Two, two; a shirt and a smock.
Nurse
Peter!
Peter
Anon.
Nurse
My fan, Peter.
Mercutio
Good Peter, to hide her face; for her fans the fairer face.
Nurse
God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
Mercutio
God ye good-den, fair gentlewoman.
Nurse
Is it good-den?
Mercutio
Tis no less, I tell ye; for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
Nurse
Out upon you! What a man are you?
Romeo
One, gentlewoman, that God hath made for himself to mar.
Nurse
By my troth, it is well said; for himself to mar, quoth a? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo?
Romeo
I can tell you: but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.