Some bastards letting off stink bombs, said one of the fine patrons of the establishment.
Fucking Yorkie bastards, said another, pointing to a group of upstanding young individuals from the white rose county, who smashed bottles and threw them at the other youths.
The pub became a free for all. Fists, bottles, Yorkie's, and furniture flew around the room as pandemonium broke out. Fossils stopped playing and the frightened old men stood behind their equipment, cowering. Steve apologised for his windy pops and the others said they would forgive him if they got out of the violence unscathed. The police arrived and cleared the pub, although most of the perpetrators had already scarpered.
The four terrified old men made their way off the stage and sat at a table, trembling.
After order got restored, Cosmo came over and apologised, blaming the Yorkies with their stink bombs. He gave the four a whisky and a pint of beer each and cancelled the gig.
With disappointment etched upon their faces, the four old men packed their instruments away. Wayne, Charles, and Elvin threw Steve dirty looks. They knew that he could not control his bowels, but couldnt figure out why he had been nervous. He had always claimed that he was a rock n roll legend, who played to packed venues.
After packing away their instruments, they sat in the now deserted lounge. The bar staff had almost cleaned up the damage from the brawl, but remnants of the foul smell lingered.
Cosmo gave the old men more beer and whisky, hoping that they would understand that he couldnt afford to pay them the agreed fee.
We dont care about the money, said Steve.
We just wanted to perform, said Elvin, looking sad.
Cosmo looked at the faces of the disappointed old men, and feeling sorry for them, made them an offer. How about I let you use the room to practice in during the week? We don't book entertainment for Tuesday or Thursdays, so how about you practice here? I wont be able to pay you, but you're welcome to use the place, and who knows, you may attract some fans.
The four looked at one another.
Thats a great idea, said Steve, and the others agreed.
Cosmos offer meant that they could practice twice a week at the Wellow. Fossils felt pleased because it meant the old Fossdyke residents could use the recreation room undisturbed for two nights a week, so they wouldnt moan as much. It also meant the band would get used to playing in front of a younger audience and it sounded an ideal solution. They chatted with Cosmo throughout the evening as he brought them more beer and whisky.
The old farts got merrily spannered and staggered back to Fossdyke arm in arm.
Charles lay on his bed, closed his eyes, and chuckled as he told Mary.