William Schwenck Gilbert - The Bab Ballads стр 4.

A TROUBADOUR he played
Without a castle wall,
Within, a hapless maid
Responded to his call.

Oh, willow, woe is me!
Alack and well-a-day!
If I were only free
Id hie me far away!

Unknown her face and name,
But this he knew right well,
The maidens wailing came
From out a dungeon cell.

A hapless woman lay
Within that dungeon grim
That fact, Ive heard him say,
Was quite enough for him.

I will not sit or lie,
Or eat or drink, I vow,
Till thou art free as I,
Or I as pent as thou.

Her tears then ceased to flow,
Her wails no longer rang,
And tuneful in her woe
The prisoned maiden sang:

Oh, stranger, as you play,
I recognize your touch;
And all that I can say
Is, thank you very much.

He seized his clarion straight,
And blew thereat, until
A warden oped the gate.
Oh, what might be your will?

Ive come, Sir Knave, to see
The master of these halls:
A maid unwillingly
Lies prisoned in their walls.

With barely stifled sigh
That porter drooped his head,
With teardrops in his eye,
A many, sir, he said.

He stayed to hear no more,
But pushed that porter by,
And shortly stood before
SIR HUGH DE PECKHAM RYE.

SIR HUGH he darkly frowned,
What would you, sir, with me?
The troubadour he downed
Upon his bended knee.

Ive come, DE PECKHAM RYE,
To do a Christian task;
You ask me what would I?
It is not much I ask.

Release these maidens, sir,
Whom you dominion oer
Particularly her
Upon the second floor.

And if you dont, my lord
He here stood bolt upright,
And tapped a tailors sword
Come out, you cad, and fight!

SIR HUGH he calledand ran
The warden from the gate:
Go, show this gentleman
The maid in Forty-eight.

By many a cell they past,
And stopped at length before
A portal, bolted fast:
The man unlocked the door.

He called inside the gate
With coarse and brutal shout,
Come, step it, Forty-eight!
And Forty-eight stepped out.

They gets it pretty hot,
The maidens what we cotch
Two years this ladys got
For collaring a wotch.

Oh, ah!indeedI see,
The troubadour exclaimed
If I may make so free,
How is this castle named?

The wardens eyelids fill,
And sighing, he replied,
Of gloomy Pentonville
This is the female side!

The minstrel did not wait
The Warden stout to thank,
But recollected straight
Hed business at the Bank.

At a pleasant evening party I had taken down to supper
One whom I will call ELVIRA, and we talked of love and TUPPER,

MR. TUPPER and the Poets, very lightly with them dealing,
For Ive always been distinguished for a strong poetic feeling.

Then we let off paper crackers, each of which contained a motto,
And she listened while I read them, till her mother told her not to.

Then she whispered, To the ball-room we had better, dear, be walking;
If we stop down here much longer, really people will be talking.

There were noblemen in coronets, and military cousins,
There were captains by the hundred, there were baronets by dozens.

Yet she heeded not their offers, but dismissed them with a blessing,
Then she let down all her back hair, which had taken long in dressing.

Then she had convulsive sobbings in her agitated throttle,
Then she wiped her pretty eyes and smelt her pretty smelling-bottle.

So I whispered,  Dear ELVIRA, say,what can the matter be with you?
Does anything youve eaten, darling POPSY, disagree with you?

But spite of all I said, her sobs grew more and more distressing,
And she tore her pretty back hair, which had taken long in dressing.

Then she gazed upon the carpet, at the ceiling, then above me,
And she whispered, FERDINANDO, do you really, really love me?

Love you? said I, then I sighed, and then I gazed upon her sweetly
For I think I do this sort of thing particularly neatly.

Send me to the Arctic regions, or illimitable azure,
On a scientific goose-chase, with my COXWELL or my GLAISHER!

Tell me whither I may hie metell me, dear one, that I may know
Is it up the highest Andes? down a horrible volcano?

But she said, It isnt polar bears, or hot volcanic grottoes:
Only find out who it is that writes those lovely cracker mottoes!

Tell me, HENRY WADSWORTH, ALFRED POET CLOSE, or MISTER TUPPER,
Do you write the bon bon mottoes my ELVIRA pulls at supper?

But HENRY WADSWORTH smiled, and said he had not had that honour;
And ALFRED, too, disclaimed the words that told so much upon her.

MISTER MARTIN TUPPER, POET CLOSE, I beg of you inform us;
But my question seemed to throw them both into a rage enormous.

MISTER CLOSE expressed a wish that he could only get anigh to me;
And MISTER MARTIN TUPPER sent the following reply to me:

A fool is bent upon a twig, but wise men dread a bandit,
Which I know was very clever; but I didnt understand it.

Seven weary years I wanderedPatagonia, China, Norway,
Till at last I sank exhausted at a pastrycook his doorway.

There were fuchsias and geraniums, and daffodils and myrtle,
So I entered, and I ordered half a basin of mock turtle.

He was plump and he was chubby, he was smooth and he was rosy,
And his little wife was pretty and particularly cosy.

And he chirped and sang, and skipped about, and laughed with laughter hearty
He was wonderfully active for so very stout a party.

And I said, O gentle pieman, why so very, very merry?
Is it purity of conscience, or your one-and-seven sherry?

But he answered, Im so happyno profession could be dearer
If I am not humming Tra! la! la! Im singing Tirer, lirer!

First I go and make the patties, and the puddings, and the jellies,
Then I make a sugar bird-cage, which upon a table swell is;

Then I polish all the silver, which a supper-table lacquers;
Then I write the pretty mottoes which you find inside the crackers.

Found at last! I madly shouted.  Gentle pieman, you astound me!
Then I waved the turtle soup enthusiastically round me.

And I shouted and I danced until hed quite a crowd around him
And I rushed away exclaiming, I have found him!  I have found him!

And I heard the gentle pieman in the road behind me trilling,
Tira, lira! stop him, stop him!  Tra! la! la! the soups a shilling!

But until I reached ELVIRAS home, I never, never waited,
And ELVIRA to her FERDINANDS irrevocably mated!