Mrs. Perkins (meekly). You neednt have the fire lit, need you?
Barlow. Nobuta fireplace without fire in it seems sort ofof bald, dont you think?
Yardsley. Bald? Splendid word applied to a fireplace. So few fireplaces have hair.
Mrs. Bradley. Oh, it could be covered up without any trouble, Bessie. Cant we have those dining-room portières to hang in front of it?
Yardsley. Just the thing. Dining-room portières always look well, whether theyre in a conservatory or a street scene. (Enter Perkins.) Hello, Thaddeus! How d y? Got your overalls on?
Perkins (trying to appear serene). Yes. Im ready for anything. Anything I can do?
Bradley. Yeslook pleasant. You look as if you were going to have your picture taken, or a tooth pulled. Havent you a smile you dont need that you can give us? This isnt a funeral.
Perkins (assuming a grin). Howll that do?
Barlow. First-rate. Well have to make you act next. Thats the most villanous grin I ever saw.
Yardsley. Ill write a tragedy to go with it. But I say, Thad, we want those dining-room portières of yours. Get em down for us, will you?
Perkins. Dining-room portières! What for?
Mrs. Perkins. They all think the fireplace would better be hid, Thaddeus, dear. It wouldnt look well in a conservatory.