Sometimes destiny lies just outside of our reach.
I swallow hard and stare at the sand, reluctant to see Damens reaction when he looks into the eyes of the one who betrayed him.
But instead of getting mad or upset like I thought, he surrounds me with the most beautiful glowing white lighta light so comforting, so forgiving, so pureits like the portal to Summerlandonly better. So I close my eyes and surround him with light too, and when I open them again, were wrapped in the most beautiful warm hazy glow.
You had no choice, he says, voice gentle, gaze soothing, doing everything he can to ease all my shame. Of course you chose your family. It was the right thing to do. I wouldve done the samegiven the choice
I nod, shining his light even brighter and tacking on a telepathic embrace. Knowing its not nearly as comforting as the real thing but for now itll do. I know about your family, I know everything, I saw it all He looks at me with eyes so dark and intense I force myself to continue. Youre always so secretive about your past, where you came from, how you livedand so one day, while I was in Summerland, I asked about youandwellyour entire life story was revealed.
I press my lips together and peer at him standing before me so silent and still. Sighing as he gazes into my eyes and telepathically traces his fingers along the curve of my cheekcreating an image so deliberate, so palpable, it almost seems real.
Im sorry, he says, thumb mentally smoothing my chin. Im sorry I was so shut down and unwilling to share that I reduced you to that. But even though it happened a long time ago, its still something I prefer not to discuss.
I nod, having no intention of pushing it. His witnessing his parents murder followed by years of abuse at the hands of the church is not a subject I intend to pursue.
But theres more, I say, hoping I can maybe restore a little hope by sharing something else that I learned. When I was watching your life unfold, at the end, Roman had killed you. But even though that seemed fated to happen, I still managed to save you. I gaze at him, sensing hes far from convinced and rushing ahead before I lose him completely. I mean, yeah, maybe our fate is sometimes fixed and unchangeable, but there are other times when its shaped purely by the actions we take. So when I couldnt save my family by going back in time, its only because that was a destiny that couldnt be changed. Or as Riley said seconds before the second accident that took them again, You cant change the past, it just is. But when I found myself right back here in Laguna, and I was able to save you, well, I think it proves that the future isnt always concrete, not everything is ruled solely by fate.
Maybe so. He sighs, gaze fixed on mine. But you cant escape karma, Ever. It is what it is. It doesnt judge, its neither good nor bad like most people think. Its the result of all actions, positive and negativea constant balancing of eventscause and effecttit for tatreaping and sowingwhat goes around comes around. He shrugs. However you phrase it, its the same in the end. And as much as youd like to think otherwise, thats exactly whats happening here. All actions cause a reaction. And this is where my actions have brought me. He shakes his head. All this time I told myself I turned you out of lovebut now I see it was really out of selfishnessbecause I couldnt be without you. Thats why this is happening now.
So, thats it? I shake my head, hardly believing hes determined to give up so easily. Thats how it ends? Youre just so dang sure youve been chased down by karma you dont even try to fight back? You came all this way just so we could be together and now that were facing an obstacle, youre not even going to try to scale the brick wall in our path?
Ever. His gaze is warm, loving, all-encompassing, but it does nothing to cancel the defeat in his voice. Im sorry, but there are some things I just know.
Yeah, well . . . I shake my head and gaze down at the ground, burying my toes deep in the sand. Just because youve got a few centuries on me doesnt mean you get the last word. Because if were truly in this together, if our lives, like our fate, is truly entwined, then youll realize this isnt just happening to you, Im part of it too. And you dont get to walk away from ityou dont get to walk away from me! Weve got to work together! There has to be a way I stop, body shaking, throat closed so tight I can no longer speak. All I can do is stand there before him, silently urging him to join me in a fight Im not sure we can win.
Ive no plans to leave you, he says, gaze filled with the longing of four hundred years. I cant leave you, Ever. Believe me, Ive tried. But in the end, I always find my way back to your side. Youre all Ive ever wantedall Ive ever lovedbut Ever
No buts. I shake my head, wishing I could hold him, touch him, press my body tightly against his. Theres got to be a way, some kind of cure. And together well find it. I just know that we will. Weve come too far to let Roman keep us apart. But I cant do it alone. Not without your help. So please promise mepromise youll try.
He looks at me, his gaze luring me in. Closing his eyes as he fills the beach with so many tulips the entire cove is bursting with waxy red petals atop green curving stemsthe ultimate symbol of our undying love covering every square inch of sand.
Then he slips his arm through mine and leads me back to his car. Our skin separated only by his supple black leather jacket and my organic cotton tee. Enough to spare the consequences of any accidental DNA exchange, but unable to temper the tingle and heat that pulsates between us.
CHAPTER 3
Guess what?
Miles gazes at me as he climbs into my car, big brown eyes wider than usual, cute baby face curving into a grin. No, you know what? Dont guess. Ill just tell you, cause youre never gonna believe it! Youre never gonna guess!
I smile, hearing his thoughts a few moments before he can speak them, refraining from saying: Youre going to acting camp in Italy! Just moments before he says, Im going to acting camp in Italy! No, correction, make that Florence, Italy! Home of Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, Raphael
And your good friend Damen Auguste, who actually knew all of those artists!
Ive known about the possibility for a few weeks but it just became official last night and I still cant believe it! Eight weeks in Florence, doing nothing but acting, eating, and stalking smoldering hot Italian men . . .
I glance at him as I back out of his drive. And Holts good with all that?
Miles looks at me. Hey, you know the drill. What happens in Italy stays in Italy.
Except when it doesnt. My thoughts drifting to Drina and Roman, wondering how many more immortal rogues are still out there, just waiting to show up in Laguna Beach and terrorize me.
Anyway, Im leaving soon, just after school gets out. And I have so much to prepare between now and then! Oh, and I almost forgot the best partwellone of the best parts. As it just so happens it all works out perfectly since my Hairspray run ends the week before I leave, so Ill still get my final bow as Tracy TurnbladI mean, seriously, how perfect is that?
Seriously perfect. I smile. Really. Congrats. Thats so cool. And well deserved I might add. I only wish I could go with you.
And the moment I say it, I realize its true. It would be so nice to escape all my problems, board a plane and fly away from all this. Besides, I miss hanging with Miles. The last few weeks when he and Haven (along with the rest of the school) were under Romans spell were some of the loneliest days of my life. Not having Damen beside me was more than I could bear, but not having the support of my two best friends nearly sent me over the edge. But Miles and Haven dont remember any of that, none of them do. Only Damen can access small bits and pieces, and what he recalls leaves him feeling terribly guilty.
I wish you could come too, he says, messing with my car stereo, trying to find just the right soundtrack to match his good mood. Maybe after graduation we can all go to Europe! We can get Eurail passes, stay in youth hostels, backpack aroundhow cool would that be? Just the six of us, you know, you and Damen, Haven and Josh, and me and whoever . . .
You and whoever? I glance at him. Whats that about?
Im a realist. He shrugs.
Please. I roll my eyes. Since when?
Since last night when I found out Im going to Italy. He laughs, running a hand through his cropped brown hair. Listen, Holts great and all, dont get me wrong. But Im not fooling myself. Im not pretending its anything more than it is. Its like weve got an expiration date, you know? A full three acts with a definite beginning, middle, and end. Its not like with you and Damen. You guys are different. Youre lifers.
Lifers? I peer at him, shaking my head as I stop at a traffic light. Sounds more like a prison term than a happily ever after.
You know what I mean. He inspects his manicure, turning his hot-pink Tracy Turnblad nails this way and that. Its just that you guys are so in tune with each other, so connected. And I mean that literally by the way since youre pretty much always going at it.
Not anymore. I swallow hard, punching the gas the second the light turns green, crossing the intersection with a loud screech of wheels and leaving a thick trail of rubber behind. Refusing to slow until I pull into the parking lot and scan for Damen who always parks in the second best space next to mine.
But even after I set the brake, hes nowhere to be found. And Im just about to climb out, wondering where he could be, when he appears right beside me, gloved hand on my door.
Wheres your car? Miles asks, glancing at him as he slams his door shut and slings his backpack over his shoulder. And whats up with your hand?
I got rid of it, Damen says, gaze fixed on mine. Then glancing at Miles and seeing his expression he adds, The car, not the hand.
Did you trade it in? I ask, but only because Miles is listening. Damen doesnt need to buy, trade, or sell, like normal people do. He can just manifest anything at will.
He shakes his head and walks me to the gate, smiling as he says, No, I just dropped it off on the side of the road, key in the ignition, engine running.
Excuse me? Miles yelps. You mean to tell me that you left your shiny, black, BMW M6 Coupeby the side of the road?
Damen nods.
But thats a hundred-thousand-dollar car! Miles gasps as his face turns bright red.
A hundred and ten. Damen laughs. Dont forget, it was fully customized and loaded with options.
Miles stares at him, eyes practically bugging out of his head, unable to comprehend how anyone could do such a thingwhy anyone would do such a thing. Um, okay, so let me get this straightyou just woke up and decidedHey, what the hell? I think Ill just dump my ridiculously expensive luxury car by the side of the roadWHERE JUST ANYONE CAN TAKE IT?
Damen shrugs. Pretty much.
Because in case you havent noticed, Miles says, practically hyperventilating now. Some of us are a little car deprived. Some of us were born to parents so cruel and unusual theyre forced to rely on the kindness of friends for the rest of their lives!
Sorry. Damen shrugs. Guess I hadnt thought about that. Though if it makes you feel any better, it was all for a very good cause.
And when he looks at me, eyes meeting mine in that way that he has, along with the usual wave of warmth I get this horrible feeling that ditching the car is just the start of his plans.
Howd you get to school? I ask, just as we reach the front gate where Haven is waiting.
He rode the bus. Haven glances between us, her recently dyed, royal blue bangs falling into her face. I kid you not. I wouldnt have believed it either, but I saw it with my own eyes. Watched him climb right off that big yellow bus with all the other freshmen, dorks, retards, and rejects who, unlike Damen, have no other choice but to ride. She shakes her head. And I was so shocked by the sight of it, I blinked a bunch of times just to make sure it was really him. And then, when I still wasnt convinced, I snapped a pic on my cell and sent it to Josh who confirmed it. She holds it up for us to see.
I glance at Damen, wondering what he could possibly be up to, and thats when I notice hes ditched his usual cashmere sweater in place of a plain cotton tee, and how his designer jeans have been replaced with no-name plain pockets. Even the black motorcycle boots hes practically famous for have been swapped for brown rubber flip-flops. And even though he doesnt need any of that dash and flash to look as devastatingly handsome as the first day we metthis new low-key look just isnt him.
Or at least not the him that Im used to.
I mean, while Damen is undeniably smart, kind, loving, and generoushes also more than a tad flamboyant and vain. Always obsessed with his clothes, his car, his image in general. And dont even try and pin him down on his exact date of birth, because for someone who chose to be immortal he has a definite complex about his age.
But even though I normally couldnt care less about the clothes he wears or his ride to school, when I look at him again, I get this horrible ping in my gutan insistent push, demanding my notice. A definite warning that this is merely the beginning. That this sudden transformation goes way deeper than some cost-cutting, altruistic, environmentally conscious agenda. No, this has something to do with last night. Something about being haunted by his karma. Like hes convinced himself that giving up his most prized possessions will somehow balance it all out.
Shall we? He smiles, grasping my hand the second the bell rings, leading me away from Miles and Haven wholl spend the next three periods texting back and forth, trying to determine whats up with Damen.
I look at him, his gloved hand in mine as we head down the hall, whispering, Whats going on? What really happened to your car?
I already told you. He shrugs. I dont need it. Its an unnecessary indulgence I no longer care toindulge. He laughs, looking at me. But when I fail to join in he shakes his head and says, Dont look so serious. Its not a big deal. When I realized its not something I need, I drove it out to a depressed area and left it by the side of the road where someone can find it.