Somehow my mom convinced him to release me and brave the terrifying outdoors. All the while people shot us weird looks that I tried to ignore. We walked together, as a family, our feet flying one in front of the other. Mom and Dad were in front, with me and Em a few steps behind them, holding hands as the crickets sang and provided us with an eerie soundtrack.
I glanced around, trying to see the world as my dad must. I saw a long stretch of black tarcamouflage? I saw a sea of carsplaces to hide? I saw the forest beyond, rising from the hillsa breeding ground for nightmares?
Above, I saw the moon, high and full and beautifully transparent. Clouds still puffed through the sky, orange now and kind of creepy. And was thatsurely notbut I blinked, slowed my pace. Yep. It was. The cloud shaped like a rabbit had followed me. Fancy that.
Look at the clouds, I said. Notice anything cool?
A pause, then, Arabbit?
Exactly. I saw him this morning. He must think were pretty awesome.
Because we are, duh.
My dad realized wed lagged behind, sprinted the distance between us, grabbed on to my wrist and jerked me fasterfaster stillwhile I maintained my grip on Emma and jerked her along. Id rather dislocate her shoulder than leave her behind, even for a second. Dad loved us, but part of me feared hed drive off without us if he thought it necessary.
He opened the car door and practically tossed me in like a football. Emma was next, and we shared a moment of silent communication after we settled.
Fun times, I mouthed.
Happy birthday to you, she mouthed back.
The instant my dad was in the passenger seat he threw the locks. He was shaking too hard to buckle his belt, and finally gave up. Dont drive by the cemetery, he told Mom, but get us home as fast as you can.
Wed avoided the cemetery on the way here, toodespite the daylightadding unnecessary time to an already lengthy drive.
I will. No worries. The Tahoe roared to life, and Mom yanked the shifter into Reverse.
Dad, I said, my voice as reasonable as I could make it. If we take the long way, well be snailing it along construction. We lived just outside big, beautiful Birmingham and traffic could be a nasty monster on its own. Thatll add at least half an hour to our trip. You dont want us to stay in the dark, at a standstill, for that long, do you? Hed work himself into such a panic wed all be clawing at the doors to escape.
Honey? Mom asked. The car eased to the edge of the lot, where she had to go left or right. If she went left, wed never make it home. Seriously. If I had to listen to my dad for more than thirty minutes, Id jump out the window and as an act of mercy Id take Emma with me. If Mom went right, wed have a short ride, a short anxiety attack to deal with, but a quick recovery. Ill drive so fast you wont even be able to see the cemetery.
No. Too risky.
Please, Daddy, I said, not above manipulation. As Id already proved. For me. On my birthday. I wont ask for anything else, I promise, even though you guys forgot the last one and I never got a present.
II His gaze shifted continually, scanning the nearby trees for movement.
Please. Em needs to be tucked into bed, like, soon, or shell morph into Lily of the Valley of Thorns. As wed long ago dubbed her. My sis got tired, and she left carnage in her wake.
Lips pursed, Em slapped my arm. I shrugged, the universal sign for well, its true.
Dad pushed out a heavy breath. Okay. Okay. Justbreak the sound barrier, babe, he said, kissing my moms hand.
I will. You have my word.
My parents shared a soft smile. I felt like a voyeur for noticing; used to be, theyd enjoyed these kinds of moments all the time, but the smiles had become less and less frequent over the years.
All right, here we go. Mom swung the vehicle right, and to my utter astonishment, she really did try to break the sound barrier, weaving in and out of lanes, honking at the slower cars, riding bumpers.
I was impressed. The few driving lessons shed given me, shed been a nervous wreck, which had turned me into a nervous wreck. We hadnt gone far or cranked the speed above twenty-five, even outside our neighborhood.
She kept up a steady stream of chatter, and I watched the clock on my phone. The minutes ticked by, until wed gone ten without a single incident. Only twenty more to go.
Dad kept his nose pressed to the window, his frantic breaths leaving puffs of mist on the glass. Maybe he was enjoying the mountains, valleys and lush green trees highlighted by the streetlamps, rather than searching for monsters.
Yeah. Right.
So howd I do? Emma whispered in my direction.
I reached over and squeezed her hand. You were amazing.
Her dark brows knit together, and I knew what was coming next. Suspicion. You swear?
Swear. You rocked the house hard-core. In comparison, the other girls sucked.
She covered her mouth to stop herself from giggling.
I couldnt help but add, The boy who twirled you around? I think he was considering pushing you off the stage, just so people would finally look at him. Honestly, every eye was riveted on you.
The giggle bubbled out this time, unstoppable. So what youre saying is, when I tripped over my own feet, everyone noticed.
Trip? What trip? You mean that wasnt part of the routine?
She gave me a high five. Good answer.
Honey, Mom said, apprehension straining her voice. Find some music for us to listen to, okay?
Uh-oh. She must want him distracted.
I leaned over and glanced out the front windshield. Sure enough. We were approaching the cemetery. At least there were no other cars around, so no one would witness my dads oncoming breakdown. And he would have one. I could feel the tension thickening the air.
No music, he said. I need to concentrate, remain on alert. I have to He stiffened, gripped the armrests on his seat until his knuckles whitened.
A moment of silence passed, such thick, heavy silence.
His panting breaths emerged faster and fasteruntil he roared so piercingly I cringed. Theyre out there! Theyre going to attack us! He grabbed the wheel and yanked. Dont you see them? Were headed right for them. Turn around! You have to turn around.
The Tahoe swerved, hard, and Emma screamed. I grabbed her hand, gave her another squeeze, but I refused to let go. My heart was pounding against my ribs, a cold sweat beading over my skin. Id promised to protect her tonight, and I would.
Its gonna be okay, I told her.
Her tremors were so violent they even shook me.
Honey, listen to me, Mom soothed. Were safe in the car. No one can hurt us. We have to
No! If we dont turn around theyll follow us home! My dad was thoroughly freaked, and nothing Mom said had registered. We have to turn around. He made another play for the wheel, gave another, harder yank, and this time, we didnt just swerve, we spun.
Round and round, round and round. My grip on Emma tightened.
Alice, she cried.
Its okay, its okay, I chanted. The world was whizzing, blurringthe car teeteringmy dad shouting a cursemy mom gaspingthe car tiltingtilting
FREEZE FRAME.
I remember when Em and I used to play that game. Wed crank the volume of our iPod dockloud, pounding rockand boogie like we were having seizures. One of us would shout freeze frame and wed instantly stop moving, totally frozen, trying not to laugh, until one of us yelled the magic word to shoot us back into motion. Dance.
I wish I could have shouted freeze frame in just that moment and rearranged the scenery, the players. But life isnt a game, is it?
DANCE.
We went airborne, flipping over, crashing into the road upside down, then flipping over again. The sound of crunching metal, shattering glass and pained screams filled my ears. I was thrown back and forth in my seat, my brain becoming a cherry slushie in my head as different impacts jarred me and stole my breath.
When we finally landed, I was so dazed, so fogged, I felt like I was still in motion. The screams had stopped, at least. All I heard was a slight ringing in my ears.
Mom? Dad? A pause. No response. Em? Again, nothing.
I frowned, looked around. My eyesight was hazy, something warm and wet in my lashes, but I could see well enough.
And what I saw utterly destroyed me.
I screamed. My mom was slashed to ribbons, her body covered in blood. Emma was slumped over in her seat, her head at an odd angle, her cheek split open. No. No, no, no.
Dad, help me. We have to get them out!
Silence.
Dad? I searchedand realized he was no longer in the car. The front windshield was gone, and he was lying motionless on the pieces a few yards away. There were three men standing over his body, the cars headlights illuminating them.
No, they werent men, I realized. They couldnt be. They had sagging pockmarked skin and dirty, ripped clothing. Their hair hung in clumps on their spotted scalps, and their teethso sharp as theyas theyfell upon my dad and disappeared inside him, only to reappear a second later andandeat him.
Monsters.
I fought for my freedom, desperate to drag Em to safetyEm, who hadnt moved and wasnt cryingdesperate to get to my dad, to help him. In the process, I banged my head against something hard and sharp. A horrible pain ravaged me, but still I fought, even as my strength wanedmy eyesight dimmed
Then it was night-night for Alice, and I knew nothing more.
At least, for a little while
2The Pool of Blood and Tears
They were dead. My family was dead. Gone. I knew it when I woke up in a hospital bed, and the nurse standing over me wouldnt meet my gaze or tell me where they were.
When the doctor came to spill the news, I just shifted to my side and closed my eyes. This was a dream. This was a horrible dream, and I would wake up. Everything would be okay when I woke up.
I never woke up.
Turns out, the car wreck that killed my mom, my dad and mymy I couldnt think about her. I just couldnt. So. Rephrase. The car wreck that killed my family had caused minimal damage to me. A concussion, a few cracked ribs, but that was it. And that just seemed so wrong, you know? I should have been slashed to ribbons, like my mother. I should have needed a total body cast. Something.
Instead, despite some minor aches and pains, I really was fine.
Fine. Yeah.
My grandparents from my mothers side visited several times, crying for the family theyd lost. Id seen them two weeks before, when my mom had taken me and my My chin trembled, but I ground my teeth together to stop it. When shed taken us to visit. Wed stayed only a few hours, though, just long enough to have lunch and a light, fun conversation.
Though Nana and Pops liked me and had always treated me well, Id never been the favorite; I think I reminded them too much of my father, who had never been good enough for their only baby.
Still, they werent going to abandon me in my time of need, they said. I would move in with them, and they would see to everything.
So, I would now be living in a two-story just as unremarkable as my own had been, but one that was mostly unfamiliar to me. One my dad had not builtone that was not reinforced for my protection. But that was no big deal. Id never even stayed the night with a friend, never slept in any bed but my own. But yeah, no big deal.
I should care, wanted to care, but I was tapped outemptynothing but a shell.
The doctors and nurses threw out a thousand Im sorrys and youll be okays. Words like fine. Such meaningless words. They were sorry? So what. That did nothing to bring my family back. I would be okay? Please. Id never be okay again.
What did they know about losing the only people they loved, anyway? What did they know about being alone? When their shifts ended, they would go home. They would hug their kids, share a meal and talk about their days. Me? I would never again enjoy something as simple as that.
I had no mother.
I had no father.
I had no sisfamily.
Heck, I think I was even without my sanity. Those monsters
Cops came by, and so did a social worker and a therapist. They all wanted to know what had happened. The cops, especially, were interested in knowing if a pack of wild dogs had attacked my parents.
Wild dogs. Id seen no wild dogs, but that made a whole lot more sense than what I had seen.
I said nothing, though. Wed flipped and wed crashed. The authorities knew that much, and that was all they needed to know. I would never mention the monsters; there was no reason to. The concussion was responsible for that little gem of a hallucination, surely.
I would never mention the fact that my mom had been in the car with me when I first opened my eyes after passing out. But the next time Id opened them? Her body had been outside the car, the headlights spotlighting her just as theyd spotlighted my dad, her body jerking and writhing as the things dove inside her, disappearing for endless seconds before coming back up for air. Her skin had bubbled up, as if burned and turned black, before finally splitting open and welling with blood.
Though Id tried with all my strength, I hadnt been able to free myself and save her. My belt had been fused to my seat, locking me in place. And when the monsters had next focused on me, evil eyes piercing me, taking one step, two, toward the car, Id panicked, desperate to protect myother family member.
Before either of us could be takenby the wild dogs, I told myself nowanother car had come by, spotted us and sent the beasts running. Though running wasnt the best word. Some had seemed to trip, some had seemed to glide. I dont remember much after that. Just flashes. Bright lights shining in my eyes. Sounds, like metal grinding against metal, and men shouting at each other. Then a pair of strong hands lifting me, something sharp poking at my arm, something being fitted over my nose. After that, nothing.
Hey. Youre Alice, right?