We sat in silence, neither of us willing to break it. Finally I couldnt stand it any longer. Why did Beloch think we were going to have sex?
Beloch is not the kindly old gentleman you seem to think he is.
Ive begun to figure that out. Why did he say what he said?
Its all part of his little game. He wants me to fall prey to your powers. In that way he can defeat me as well as you.
Why would he want to defeat either of us?
Youre the Lilith, the embodiment of female power and rebellion. Of course he wants you destroyed. And he hates me because I was once beloved of God and he never was.
Beloch isnt a fallen angel?
He hesitated. Its not clear exactly what he is. I expect hes a demon.
Goddamn it! I snapped. Why the hell are you so set on wiping me out when youve got a demon right there, ready to be smited? Or smote, or whatever.
Not all demons are evil.
But I am. I didnt even bother to phrase it as a question, and he didnt bother to answer.
So Im not sleeping with you, I said finally. You can tell Beloch he can just forget about it.
Then hell hand you over to the Truth Breakers without further delay.
And if I did sleep with you? Not that I would, but Im curious. Does that mean I dont get handed over to his minions? Youd become my willing slave? It was an appealing thought. I liked the idea of him being on his knees around me.
Of course not. Beloch is wagering that you would vanquish me. I know thats impossible. Bedding you would mean nothing to me.
Ditto, I snapped. The answer to our problem is simple. Well just tell them that we did it. That were doing it. Doing the wild thing all night long, and you arent quite sure whether youre going to succumb or not but youll need more time to figure it out. Which would give
you enough time to come up with an escape plan.
There are two fatal flaws in that plan, he said. One, you have yet to give me one reason to rescue you. I need that information, and the Truth Breakers will get it for me.
I wanted to scream at him that I didnt have any information, but I bit my lip. I hadnt given up hope of convincing him to save me. Hed saved me once already, when hed been the one to arrange my death. Beneath his cool exterior beat an actual heart. If angels had hearts. If he really was an angel. You said there were two fatal flaws, I said instead. Whats the other one?
Hell know if we lie.
How? Does he have cameras? Microphones?
Stop thinking that youre dealing with mortals, Rachel. Trust me, he would know.
The sound of my name on his lips was strange, almost sweet, though he didnt seem to notice hed used it. How would he know?
He bit back a sigh of irritation. He would smell it.
Ew! Does he think we wouldnt take showers?
Im not talking about semen and sweat and vaginal secretions, he said with far too much frankness, and I felt my skin heat. He would smell the changes in your body, in your skin, in your veins. He would know.
Ive had sex before, and trust me, there were no changes that I couldnt wash away.
Thats part of your curse. To drive men mad with desire and feel no pleasure.
Great, I muttered. And all this time I thought I was frigid.
He looked at me sharply then, but I couldnt read the expression in his eyes. Blue eyes in the black-and-white universe. I was coming to treasure that small bit of color when I knew I shouldnt. Shouldnt treasure anything about him.
But the ridiculous fact was, I did. I had, from the moment Id woken up in that dingy hotel room in Australia and looked into his bleak eyes and recognized something. I didnt know whether it was déjà vu, or shock, or the fastest case of Stockholm syndrome on record. All I knew was that Id looked into his eyes and seen a I wanted to say a soul mate, but that was preposterous. But Id seen a bond, a connection, that existed no matter what he tried to do to me. And part of that bond was a totally unexpected desire.
So what do you suggest we do? If he didnt like my ideas, he could come up with one of his own.
He will give us one week if he thinks were following his orders. If he believes youre destroying me. If he knows weve refused hell take you immediately, and hell win.
As will you, for refusing to play his game.
But you wont. Youll be dead.
It shouldnt have come as a surprise. Id always known that was waiting for me in the end.
And why would you care? I asked. What a stupid, whiny question, I thought, wishing I could call it back. Hed tried to kill me; hed told me any number of times he believed I was a monster who should be terminated. I was entirely dispensable.
Of course he said nothing. I didnt think Azazel was capable of a polite, reassuring lie. Its your decision, he said.
I roused myself from contemplating my imminent death. What do you mean?
Beloch will send someone here tomorrow, and if he doesnt find us in bed together, hell take you.
I sat back, looking into his beautiful face. Certain, painful death, or being forced to have sex with a man who drew me more than anyone ever had? Oh, twist my arm. Ill take sex.
He didnt look particularly happy about my noble sacrifice. In fact, he looked dismayed, and I considered taking it back. You dont like the idea? You can always lie back and think of England.