People dont want anything near them, especially if theres a chance it might help somebody. Its part of that great, generous American spirit we hear so much about. You can ask the Indians about that. If you manage to find one. Weve made Indians just a little hard to find. Should you need more current data, select any black family at random. Ask them how generous America has been to them.
Lock the Bastards Up . . . Somewhere Else
People dont want anything near them. Even if its something they think society needs, like prisons. Everybody says, Build more prisons! But dont build them here.
Well, why not? Whats wrong with having a prison in your neighborhood? It seems to me it would make for a fairly crime-free area. You think a lot of crackheads and thieves and hookers are gonna be hangin around in front of a fuckin prison? Bullshit! They aint goin anywhere near it.
What could be safer than a prison? All of the criminals are locked inside. And if a couple of them do manage to escape, what do you think theyre gonna do? Hang
around? Check real estate prices? Bullshit! Theyre fuckin gone! Thats the whole idea of breakin out of prison: to get as far away as you possibly can.
Not in my backyard. People dont want anything near them. Except military bases. They like that, dont they? Give em an army or a navy base; that makes em happy. Why? Jobs. Self-interest. Even if the base is loaded with nuclear weapons, they dont give a shit. Theyll say, Well, I dont mind a few mutations in the family if I can get a decent job. Working people have been fucked over so long, those are the kind of decisions they make now.
Putts for Putzes
But getting back to low-cost housing, I think I might have solved this problem. I know just the place to build housing for the homeless: golf courses. Its perfect. Plenty of good land in nice neighborhoods; land that is currently being squandered on a mindless activity engaged in by white, well-to-do business criminals who use the game to get together so they can make deals to carve this country up a little finer among themselves.
Im sick of these golfing cocksuckers in their green and yellow pants, precious little hats, and pussified golf carts. Its time for real people to reclaim the golf courses from the wealthy and turn them over to the homeless. Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
Size Matters
The arrogant nature of golf is evident in the design and scale of the game. Think of how big a golf course is. Its huge; you cant see one end of it from the other. But the ball is only an inch and a half in diameter. So will someone please explain to me what these pinheaded pricks need with all that land?
America has over 17,000 golf courses. They average over 150 acres apiece. Thats three million-plus acres. Four thousand, eight hundred and twenty square miles. We could build two Rhode Islands and a Delawares worth of housing for the homeless on the land currently wasted on this meaningless, mindless, arrogant, racist game.
Thats another thing: race. The only blacks youll find in country clubs are carrying trays. And dont give me that Tiger Woods bullshit. Fuck Tiger Woods. He aint black. He acts, talks, and lives like a white boy. Skin alone doesnt make you black.
Wake Me Up on the 19th Hole
And lets not forget how boring golf is. Have you ever watched it on television? Its like watching flies fuck. A completely mindless game. I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick . . . and then walking after it! And then . . . hitting it again! I say, Pick it up, asshole, youre lucky you found the fuckin thing in the first place. Put it in your pocket and go the fuck home! But, no. Dorko, in the plaid knickers, is gonna hit the ball again. And then hes gonna walk some more.
I say let these rich cocksuckers play miniature golf. Let em fuck with a windmill for an hour and a half. I wanna see if theres any real skill among these people. And yeah, yeah, I know there are plenty of golfers who dont consider themselves rich; people who play on badly maintained public courses. Fuck em! Fuck them and shame on them! Shame! For engaging in an arrogant, elitist, racist activity.
? HYPERLINK file:///E:\\Documents%20and%20Settings\\Dom\\Desktop\\1791_NapalmSillyPutty%5B1%5D\\Napalm_body-contents.html \l TOC-43 ??THE GOOD BREAD ?
When you make a sandwich at home, do you reach down past the first few slices to get the really good bread? Its a survival thing: Let my family eat the rotten bread. Ill take care of Numero Uno.
And sometimes the issue isnt freshness but the size of the slice youre after. Everyone knows the wider ones are somewhere near the middle. So down you go past about six inferior slices to reach the ones you want. And, as you pull them up, you have to be careful they dont tear. Then, just before you get them out, the top six slices shift position and fall perpendicular to the rest of the loaf.