Her dad laughed.
She glanced over her shoulder at him. Why are you laughing?
I dont know, he said. The bread thing, I think. Also did you really google your period? You could have asked me about thatI know about periods.
Cath exhaled. Its okay. We googled everything back then.
You dont have to talk to her, he said softly. Nobodys gonna make you.
Yeah, but Wren has alreadyshes already let down the drawbridge.
Wren must have some shit she still needs to figure out.
Cath clenched her fists and pushed them into her eyes. I just dont like this. I dont like thinking about her, I dont want to see her. I dont want her in this house, thinking about how it used to be her house, about how we used to be hers, too. I dont want her brain touching us.
Her dad pulled Cath into his arms. I know.
I feel like everythings upside down.
He took another deep breath. Me, too.
Did you freak out when she called?
I cried for three hours.
Oh, Dad
Your grandmother gave her my cell phone number.
Have you seen her?
No.
Cath shuddered, and her dad squeezed her tight. When I think about her coming here, she said, its like that scene in Fellowship of the Ring when the hobbits are hiding from the Nazgûl.
Your mother isnt evil, Cath.
Thats just how I feel.
He was quiet for a few seconds. Me, too.
* * *
Wren didnt get back in time for Thanksgiving dinner; she ended up staying the night.
I feel like if we set the table and pretend everythings normal, Cath said to her dad, its just going to be worse.
Agreed, he said.
They ate in the living room, turkey and mashed potatoes, and watched the History Channel. The green bean casserole sat in the kitchen and got cold because Wren was the only person who ever ate it.
Baz. Have you ever done this before?
Simon. Yes. No.
Yes or no?
Yes. Not like this.
Baz. Not with a boy?
Simon. Not when I really wanted it.
from Shall We? posted April 2010 by FanFixx.net author Magicath
FIFTEEN
When Cath saw it was Levi standing outside the door, she was so happy to see his always-friendly face, she just let him in. She didnt even bother telling him that Reagan wasnt there.
Is Reagan here? he asked as soon as he was in the room. Levis face wasnt friendly. His forehead was furrowed, and his little bow lips were drawn tight.
No, Cath said. She went out hours ago. She didnt add: With a giant guy named Chance who plays lots of intramural football and looks like he could play John Henry in the movie version of John Henry.
Fuck, Levi said, leaning back against the door. Even angry, he was a leaner.
Whats wrong? Cath asked. Was he finally jealous? Didnt he know about the other guys? Cath always figured he and Reagan had an arrangement.
She was supposed to study with me, he said.
Oh, Cath said, not understanding. Well, you can still study here if you want.
No. Angry. I need her help. We were supposed to study last night and she put me off, and the test is tomorrow and He hurled a book down on Reagans bed, then sat at the end of Caths, looking away from her but still hiding his face. She said shed study with me.
Cath walked over and picked up the book. The Outsiders ?
Yeah. He looked up. Have you read it?
No. Have you?
No.
So read it, she said. Your test is tomorrow? You have time. It doesnt look very long.
Levi shook his head and looked at the floor again. You dont understand. I have to pass this test.
So read the book. Were you just gonna let Reagan read it for you?
He shook his head againnot in answer, more like he was shaking his head at the very idea of reading the book.
I told you, he said. Im not much of a book person.
Levi always said that. Im not a book person. Like books were rich desserts or scary movies.
Yeah, but this is school, she said. Would you let Reagan take the test for you?
Maybe, he huffed. If that was an option.
Cath dropped the book next to him on her bed and went to her desk. You may as well watch the movie, she said distastefully.
Its not available.
Cath made a noise like hunh in her throat.
You dont understand, Levi said. If I dont get a C in this class, I get kicked out my program.
So read the book.
Its not that simple.
Its exactly that simple, Cath said. You have a test tomorrow, your girlfriend isnt here to do your workread the book.
You dont understand anything.
Levi was standing now; hed walked to the door, but Cath wouldnt turn to face him. She was tired of fighting. This fight wasnt even hers.
Okay, she said, I dont understand. Whatever. Reagan isnt here, and I have a ton of reading to doand nobody to do it for meso She heard him jerk open the door.
I tried to read it, he said roughly. Ive been trying for the last two hours. I just, Im not a reader. Ive Ive never finished a book.
Cath turned to look at him, feeling a sudden guilty grab in her stomach. Are you trying to tell me you cant read?
Levi pushed his hair back violently. Of course I can read, he said. Jesus Christ.
Well, then, what are you trying to tell me? That you dont want to?