No. I He closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose. I dont know why Im trying to tell you anything. I can read. I just cant read books.
So pretend its a really long street sign and muddle through it.
Jesus, he said, surprised. Hurt. What have I ever done to make you be this mean to me?
Im not being mean, Cath said, knowing that she probably was. I just dont know what you want me to saythat I approve? What you and Reagan do isnt any of my business.
You think Im lazy. His eyes were on the ground. And Im not.
Okay.
Its like I cant focus, he said, turning away from her in the doorway. Like I read the same paragraph over and over, and I still dont know what it says. Like the words go right through me and I cant hold on to them.
Okay, she said.
He looked back, just far enough to face her. Levis eyes were too big in his face when he wasnt smiling. Im not a cheater, he said.
Then he walked away, letting the door close behind him.
Cath exhaled. Then inhaled. Her chest was so tight, it hurt both ways. Levi shouldnt get to make her feel this wayhe shouldnt even have access to her chest.
Levi wasnt her boyfriend. He wasnt family. She didnt choose him. She was stuck with him because she was stuck with Reagan. He was a roommate-in-law.
The Outsiders was still sitting on her bed.
Cath grabbed it and ran out the door. Levi! She ran down the hall. Levi!
He was standing in front of the elevator with his hands shoved into his coat pockets.
Cath stopped running when she saw him. He turned to look at her. His eyes were still too big.
You forgot your book. She held it up.
Thanks, he said, holding out his hand.
Cath ignored it. Look why dont you come back? Reagans probably on her way.
Im sorry I yelled at you, he said.
Did you yell at me?
I raised my voice.
She rolled her eyes and took a step backwards toward her room. Come on.
Levi looked in her eyes, and she let him.
Are you sure?
Come on. Cath turned toward her room and waited for him to fall into step beside her. Im sorry, she said softly. I didnt realize we were having a serious conversation until we were.
Im just really stressed about this test, he said.
They stopped at her door, and Cath suddenly brought her wrists up to her temples. Crap. She held her hands on top of her head. Crap, crap, crap. Were locked out. I dont have my keys.
I got ya. Levi grinned and pulled out his key ring.
Her jaw dropped. You have a key to our room?
Reagan gave me her spare, for emergencies. He unlocked the door and held it open for her.
Then why are you always sitting in the hall?
Thats never an emergency.
Cath walked in, and Levi followed. He was smiling again, but he
was still obviously operating at thirty degrees below regular Levi. They might be done fighting, but he was still going to fail his test.
So you couldnt find the movie? she asked. Even online?
No. And the movies no good anyway. Teachers can always tell when you watch the movie. He flopped down at the head of her bed. Normally, I listen to the audiobook.
That counts as reading, Cath said, sitting at her desk.
It does?
Of course.
He kicked one of the legs of her chair playfully, then rested his feet there, on the rail. Well, then, never mind. I guess I have read lots of books. This one wasnt available. He unzipped his jacket, and it fell open. He was wearing a green and yellow plaid shirt underneath.
So, what? Was Reagan going to read it to you?
Usually we just go over the highlights. It helps her, too, to review it.
Cath looked down at the paperback. Well, Ive got nothing for you. All I know about The Outsiders is Stay gold, Ponyboy.
Levi sighed and pushed back his hair. Cath shuffled the pages with her thumb. It really was a short book. With tons of dialogue.
She looked up at Levi. The sun was setting behind her, and he was sitting in a wash of orange light.
Cath turned her chair toward the bed, knocking his feet without warning to the ground. Then she rested her own feet on the bed frame and took off her glasses, tucking them in her hair. When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house
Cath, Levi whispered. She felt her chair wobble and knew he was kicking it. You dont have to do that.
Obviously, she said. When I stepped out into the bright sunlight
Cather.
She cleared her throat, still focused on the book. Shut up, I owe you one. At least one. And also, Im trying to read here. When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had just two things on my mind.
When Cath glanced up between paragraphs, Levi was grinning. He bent forward to slide out of his coat, then found a new way to rest his legs on her chair and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes.
* * *
Cath had never read out loud this much before. Fortunately it was a good book, so she sort of forgot after a while that she was reading out loud and that Levi was listeningand the circumstances that got them here. An hour or so passed, maybe even two, before Cath dropped her hands and the book into her lap. The sun had finished setting, and the only light in her room was from her desk lamp.