Mr. Shimon, Do you think I dont know that she is an impossible dream for someone like me and that we can never be together? Akiva continued.
So if you understand, why do you continue to spend time with her?
I tried to take your advice but I just cant help it. Its something more powerful than I am. I cant begin to describe what she means to me. I have never experienced anything like it. Until I met Rachel, I hated this world and everything in it. Even if nothing can happen between us, I dream only of one thing; that it last as long as possible. Id give my whole life just to spend one minute with her. I have lived a dull life but now at least I will have something good to remember when I die, Akiva pronounced sadly.
Shimon felt sorry for Akiva. He could see the love and respect the shepherd felt for Rachel and having thought for a moment he said, I can see you have made your mind up and there is nothing I can say to stop you. All I can do is ask you to think it through one more time.
Dear Mr. Shimon, I have already thought it all over and have made my decision. If fate has destined her to be mine, then we will be together.
Rachel is a fine young woman. Perhaps she will agree to be your wife and you will live a good life together. A lot in life depends on your wife. If you have a wise woman at your side who commands your respect, you will try to become a better man so as not to disappoint her.
Thank you Shimon for your kind words. I really need them at the moment.
Oh Akiva! Dont forget lamented Shimon suddenly, you are almost twice her age and you are very different kinds of people, different in position and means. An affair like that can only end in tragedy.
So the reality is that a simple man like me, is not worthy of happiness and Rachel cannot be the wife of a poor shepherd? Akivas eyes shone. But I have to try. If she is my destiny, we will be together. And if she isnt, then I shall spend the rest of my life alone, said the shepherd despondently.
Akiva, Akiva, sighed Shimon heavily, I can see there is nothing anyone can do. Since you mentioned her the first time, I have tried to dissuade you, to frighten you into giving up on the whole idea, but your intentions are obviously serious and I respect you for that.
Mr. Shimon was silent for a moment and then he said confidently:
If I was in your shoes and I liked a girl, do you know what I would do? I wouldnt listen to an old man like me. I would go and talk to her father.
I agree but I am so afraid, afraid of losing Rachel. You dont understand Mr.Shimon. If Kalba Savua refuses to allow it, Rachel and I wont be able to see each other.
I am prepared to go and talk to Kalba Savua myself the old man offered, even if it does spoil our relationship.
No. This is the most important thing in my life. I have to do it myself, said Akiva decisively, turning down Shimons offer of help.
* * *
Akiva returned to the Kalba Savua estate and set about his duties. Early in the morning, he drove the sheep to the river and waited for Rachel to appear. He turned round to look for her at every sound, but Rachel didnt appear. It was getting dark. In the hope of seeing his beloved, Akiva decided to hang on by the river for longer than usual but eventually he left to go back for the night and drove the herd into the fold.
Back at the main house, the estate workers were having their supper in the dining room but Akiva didnt join them making straight for his room. Once inside, he lit a candle and lay down to rest. All his thoughts were occupied with Rachel totally dulling out any thought of food. He didnt feel the slightest pang of hunger despite not having eaten since morning. He could only think about one thing: Why had not Rachel come that day? However he looked at it, Akiva could not settle on a definitive answer.
Akiva worked hard to drive away his sad thoughts and dreamed only of seeing Rachel again. In his dreams, they walked hand in hand along the banks of the river discussing various topics of conversation. And when the sun began its journey home, they would sit on the tall rock watching a spectacular sunset. In his imagination they sat watching silently as the sun sank smoothly down into the river and the clouds drifted slowly into the distance. The silence was intoxicating broken only by the occasional sounds of leaves and birdsong.
A knock at the door interrupted Akivas flight of fantasy. He got up slowly and went to open the door. Ezra stood in the doorway.
Peace to you, Akiva. Why did not you come for supper? Asked the manager.
I was just feeling a bit tired and decided to rest instead, the shepherd answered, a little surprised by Ezras appearance.
I was worried you might have been taken ill and have brought you some supper. Have something to eat. Ezra held out the plate.
Akiva thanked him and put the plate of food on the table. Ezra left but Akiva didnt touch his supper. He just lay down again thinking about Rachel and dreaming of another meeting with her. He wanted to fall asleep as soon as possible so that he would wake up to a new day which had to bring him the opportunity of seeing his beloved Rachel.
The next day however, did not fulfil Akivas hopes either and he returned to his room once again without seeing Rachel. He paced around the room unable to settle, going over different scenarios in his mind. The following morning, not having slept a wink all night, Akiva left his room and set off for the fold.
Thunder rolled and the sky was covered in thick, black cloud. It poured with heavy rain all day. Despite the weather, Akiva drove the herd to the river again impatient to see Rachel appear. He waited for several hours but the rain was only getting heavier and the herd threatened to scatter in all directions with every new clap of thunder. Akiva was forced to drive them back to the fold and return to his lodgings earlier than usual. He couldnt be tempted by supper on this occasion either. One thought replaced another, making him ever gloomier. Have I really lost her? Will she really belong to someone else? Avaricious tears built up like shining dew on Akivas lashes. If I dont see her again Ill die.
Akiva tried to eradicate persistent thoughts of his separation with Rachel from his mind. Perhaps the reason she didnt come to the pasture like she used to, is because of the unrelenting rain. Akiva comforted himself.
Yes, thats it! Akiva felt calmer when he realised that it must have been due to the rain that he hadnt seen Rachel, in addition to which, he had been forced to drive the sheep into the fold much earlier than he usually did. That would explain it.
Then a thought suddenly occurred to him. What if Rachel decided to come out anyway, despite the terrible weather, and is waiting for me there, whilst I, fool, sit here in the warm. Ill go now to the river. If Rachel is by the river, she will be cold and soaked to the skin by now.
Without even stopping to put on his coat, Akiva hurriedly left his room dressed just in a thin shirt and linen trousers, and ran towards the river. It was dark outside and the heavy rain lashed across Akivas face. He ran along the wet, slippery road, fell and picked himself up again continuing towards the river. His clothes were soaked in mud but he didnt mind and hurried onwards. He made for the summerhouse found it empty. The realisation that Rachel had not been there that day at all cut with bitter disappointment.