Sometimes it happens this way: relatives bring the infiltrators, sit by the door
In order to prevent the infiltrators from running away
Exactly. So, imagine, a mother of an infiltrator sits by the door guarding her prodigal daughter. She listens attentively, writes down all the recommendations, reads her notes at home, does homework. As a result, a month later, her mother lost excess weight for free, and her daughter is still fat. Because the daughter did not need it!
The third (and the last) category includes so-called headhunters. They even have a kind of wall of shame at home with scalps of specialists nailed to it. This is a doctor from St. Petersburg, he was a good person; this is a scalp of psychologist from Moscow, he did not help me either. By the way, I was a subject of three PhD dissertations. But I didnt give up. Ive got a special fat. My metabolism is tricky, so modern medicine is useless. A man comes to us to prove himself that modern medicine and psychology are useless, I cant lose weight here too. Whats going on with him? He doesnt lose weight. Then he comes here and demands results. Whats your name? Artyom Ovechkin? I got you! Come here
Rules for the group work
Organization rules.
Well begin classes on time. It is very important. If youre late, youll miss something, and thats not good.
Your cell phones should be turned off. Even vibration signals are unacceptable. Purses, crawling on the table under vibration, can interrupt important psychological practice at the crucial moment.
Imagine, we are sitting here, concentrated, focused on some moment. Meditative music is playing. Suddenly.
Buzz-z-z-z-z! Someones purse is running to us, vibrating like a mad hare! You know, no matter how many times I remind to turn off the phones. Everybody says: Certainly, well turn them off. But then we hear phone ringing!
Now lets talk about safety.
First, there is the Stop! rule. If we hit where it hurts you, if you do not want to work at this problem right now, you have a right to say:
Stop! I dont want to discuss it! And we stop talking about it.
There is one more thing: privacy. You can say anything you want about me, about the program, but everything you hear within these walls about each other (and well talk about personal life, work, discuss various issues that you are eager to share with us) must stay here. Can we rely on one another? Everything said by participants about themselves or each other cannot leave this room. It shouldnt be revealed to anyone else. Promise?
It goes in one ear and out the other.
Active involvement. So the first rule is so-called I-statement. Many people use to say all the time we, we believe, we think. We is a great cover for hiding thing that allows evading any responsibility. Lets talk in the first person!
The next point. You can ask any question you want. Every unresolved issue leads to a lack of information, wrong actions, and wrong results.
The next rule is swapping. We will change seats after every class.
First, your main task is to sit by Victor for at least once.
What about me? Will I stay in the same seat?
No, you will change your seat too. They say that those who are sitting closer to the leader of the group lose weight faster. Thats why we need constant swapping. What for?
We all want to gain results and to change our life! Big changes start from the little ones.
It is desirable to make some changes in the kitchen too. You can buy new beautiful dishware, tablecloth, table napkins or plastic overlays; put some flowers on the table, hang new curtains. Its important, as earlier you lead a different life in this kitchen. You had an eating behavior that led you to excess body weight. Now a new life begins!
Andrey Vasilyevich Trenogov, psychologist, psychiatrist:
In one research, scientists studied people who lost excess weight (the focus group included people weighing more than two hundred and sixty pounds who had several weight loss experiences) and maintained achieved weight for at least two years. The researchers tried to understand what all these people had in common. What helped them to lose weight successfully? As it turned out, all the people believed that they would finally achieve their goal this time. Secondly, everyone faced changes in life. Some of them married, divorced or changed career. The others moved or renovated their house. Everybody who lost weight successfully faced not only internal changes but external changes as well.
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
Another rule. Lets speak in turn. When I take the floor, I speak. When you take the floor, you speak. When five people are talking at the same time, no one is listening. We are here not to make noise to wake the dead. Do you accept the rules?
Yes!
Communication with a problematic person
Nikolay Ivanovich Kosenkov, member of Petrovskaya Academy of Sciences and Arts, Ph. D. of medical science
Nonconstructive methods can be used in communication if a person hasnt got any problems. But this doesnt occur often. A person often does not realize that he has some kind of problem! He believes that he is always late because of some embarrassing chain of events. If he is overweight, this its caused by bad genes. The person has no willpower to reduce food consumption and give up unhealthy habits. He blames the disruption of the endocrine system and anything else except himself. As usual, this problem does not bother him. But when it affects others, they are trying to the point that to him in every possible way. People begin to use the following communication patterns, which ultimately do not lead to an awareness of the problem. If there is no awareness, then there is no solution, either.
The following are the methods of communication that we use in everyday life.
Nonconstructive methods of communication with a problematic person
1. Pushing a person to the independent solution of the problem:
order;
warning, threat;
preaching;
advice, proposals, interpretation;
using logical arguments, lecturing.
2. Underlining of weaknesses and fails:
criticism, accusation;
the practice of naming and shaming;
diagnosis, interpretation.
3. Attempt to improve well-being:
praise, positive evaluation;
consolation, encouragement.
4. Wrong questions:
questions to gather additional information;
questions to get away from the problem.
There are constructive means of conducting a conversation. They allow us to hear the person and understand his problem. The one who can listen is the best talker. These methods are presented below. We will learn to listen to each other and ourselves during our session.
Constructive methods of communication with a problematic person