«And what about the cab fares to Vyborg?»
Oblomov took out another rouble and thrust it into his hand crossly.
«Your bailiff is a rogue thats what I think», Tarantyev began, putting the rouble in his pocket, «and you stand there with your mouth open and believe him. You see the sort of tall story he tells you! Drought, bad harvest, arrears, runaway peasants its all a pack of lies! Ive heard that in our district, on the Shumilov estate, the harvest last year was so good that they paid off all their debts. And Shumilov is only thirty-five miles from you: why havent the crops there been burnt up? Then there is something else he has invented arrears! But what was he doing? Why did he neglect them? Why should there be arrears? Is there no work to be had in our district no market for a peasants produce? Why, the thief Id teach him a lesson! And I daresay the peasants ran away because he got some money from them and then let them go, and he never complained to the police at all».
«I dont believe it», said Oblomov. «Why, he actually quotes the police inspectors answer in the letter and so authentically, too».
«Oh, you simpleton! You dont know anything. All rogues write authentically take my word for it. Here, for instance», he went on, pointing to Alexeyev, «sits an honest fellow who wont hurt a fly well, will he write an authentic letter? Never. But his relation, though a rogue and a swine, will. And you wont write such a letter, either. Your bailiff therefore is a rascal just because he has written such a clever and authentic-sounding letter. You see how carefully he chose his words: to send them back to their place of domicile».
«What am I to do with him?» asked Oblomov.
«Sack him at once».
«But whom shall I appoint in his place? What do I know about the peasants? Another one might be worse. I havent been there for twelve years».
«Go to your estate yourself: that must be done. Spend the summer there and in the autumn come straight to the new flat. Ill see that its all ready for you».
«Move to a new flat go to the country and all by myself! What desperate measures you suggest!» Oblomov said, looking displeased. «Nothing about avoiding extremes and suggesting some sort of compromise».
«Well, my dear fellow, youre as good as done for. Why, in your place Id have mortgaged the estate long ago and bought another or a house here in a good residential part of the town; thats a damn sight better than that country place of yours. And then Id have mortgaged the house and bought another. Let me have your estate and Id soon make them sit up».
«Stop boasting and think of something so that I need not leave this flat or go to the country and so that everything should be settled satisfactorily», Oblomov remarked.
«But will you ever do anything?» said Tarantyev. «Have a good look at yourself. Why, youre not good for anything. Of what use are you to your country? You cant even go to your estate!»
«Its a bit too soon for me to go there», replied Oblomov. «I must first finish my plan of the changes I intend to introduce on my estate But, look here, Tarantyev», Oblomov said suddenly, «why shouldnt you go instead? You know what the business is and you have a pretty good idea what the countryside is like in those parts I would pay your expenses»
«Im not your manager, am I?» Tarantyev said haughtily. «Besides, Ive lost the knack of dealing with peasants».
«What am I to do?» said Oblomov, pensively. «Im hanged if I know».
«Well, write to the police inspector. Ask him if the bailiff has spoken to him about runaway peasants», Tarantyev advised, «and ask him to visit your estates too; then write to the Governor to order the police inspector to report on the bailiffs conduct. Will your Excellency be so good as to take a fatherly interest in me and cast a merciful eye upon the terrible and inevitable misfortune that threatens to overwhelm me as a result of my bailiffs outrageous behaviour and the utter ruin which is bound to overtake me together with my wife and twelve little children who will be left unprovided for and starving»
Oblomov laughed.
«Where am I to get so many children if I am asked to produce them?» he said.
«Nonsense, man! Write: Twelve children. No one will pay any attention to it and no one will make inquiries, but it will sound authentic. The Governor will pass on the letter to his secretary, and you will write to the secretary at the same time with an enclosure, of course and he will give the necessary order. And ask your neighbours, too: whom have you got there?»
«Dobrynin lives near», said Oblomov. «I used to see him often here; he is in the country now».
«Well, write to him, too. Ask him nicely: You will be doing me a great favour and oblige me as a Christian, a neighbour, and a friend. And add some Petersburg present to the letter a box of cigars, for instance. That is what you should do, but you dont seem to have any sense at all. Youre hopeless! Id have made that bailiff sit up; Id have shown him! When does the post go?»
«The day after to-morrow», said Oblomov.
«Very well. Sit down and write at once».
«But if its the day after to-morrow, why should I write now?» Oblomov remarked. «To-morrow will do. And, look here, old man», he added. «You may as well crown your act of charity, and I will add a fish or some bird for dinner».
«What now?»
«Sit down and write it wont take you long to scribble three letters. You put everything so authentically», he added, trying to conceal a smile, «and Alexeyev could copy it out».
«Good Lord, how do you like that!» Tarantyev replied. «Me write your letters? I havent written anything at the office for the last two days: the moment I sit down, my left eye begins to run. Must have caught a chill in it, and my head, too, begins to swim if I bend down. Youre lazy, my dear fellow, lazy. Hopeless, hopeless»
«Oh, if only Andrey would hurry up and come!» said Oblomov. «Hed put everything straight!»
«Some good Samaritan youve found, I must say!» Tarantyev interrupted. «A damned German a crafty rascal!»
Tarantyev had a sort of instinctive aversion to foreigners. To him a Frenchman, a German, or an Englishman were synonymous with swindler, impostor, rogue, or bandit. He made no distinction between nations: they were all alike in his eyes.
«Look here, Tarantyev», Oblomov said sternly, «Id be glad if you would control your language, especially when speaking of an intimate friend of mine»
«An intimate friend!» Tarantyev replied with hatred. «What sort of connexion is he of yours? A German we all know what that is».
«Hes closer than any relation. I was brought up with him and we were educated together, and I shant allow any impertinence»
Tarantyev turned purple with rage.
«Well», he said, «if you prefer the German to me, I shant set foot in your house again».
He put on his hat and walked to the door. Oblomov at once felt sorry.
«You ought to respect him as my friend and speak more carefully about him that is all I ask», he said. «It isnt much of a favour, is it?»
«To respect a German?» Tarantyev said with the utmost contempt. «Why should I?»
«But Ive just told you if for nothing else then because we grew up and went to the same school together».
«What does that matter? We all go to school with someone or other!»
«Well, if hed been here», said Oblomov, «hed long ago have solved my problems without asking for beer or champagne».