«What is it? Come on, out with it! Im in a hurry».
«Well, two misfortunes have befallen me, all at once. I have to move»
«Serves you right. Why dont you pay your rent?» said Tarantyev, turning to go.
«Good Lord, no! I always pay in advance. No, theyre going to convert this flat. Wait a moment. Where are you off to? Tell me what I am to do. They rush me. They want me to move within a week».
«What sort of advice do you expect me to give you? You neednt imagine»
«I dont imagine anything», said Oblomov. «Dont shout. Better think what I am to do. Youre a practical man»
But Tarantyev was no longer listening to him. He was thinking of something.
«Well», he said, taking off his hat and sitting down. «All right, you may thank me and order champagne for dinner. Your business is settled».
«What do you mean?» asked Oblomov.
«Will there be champagne?»
«Perhaps, if your advice is worth it».
«Aye, but youre not worth the advice. You dont imagine Ill give you advice for nothing, do you? There, you can ask him», he added, pointing to Alexeyev, «or his relative».
«All right, all right, tell me», Oblomov begged.
«Now, listen: you must move to-morrow».
«Good Lord, what an idea! I knew that myself».
«Wait, dont interrupt», Tarantyev shouted. «To-morrow you will move to the flat of a good friend of mine in Vyborg».
«What nonsense is that! Vyborg! Why, they say wolves roam the streets there in winter!»
«Oh, well, they do come there sometimes from the islands, but what has that got to do with you?»
«But its such a dull place a wilderness, no one lives there».
«Nonsense! A good friend of mine lives there. She has a house of her own with big kitchen gardens. She is a gentlewoman, a widow with two children. Her unmarried brother lives with her. Hes a clever fellow, not like that chap in the corner there», he said, pointing to Alexeyev. «Hes a damn sight more intelligent than you or I».
«What has that got to do with me?» Oblomov said impatiently. «Im not going to move there».
«We shall see about that. No, sir, if you ask for my advice, you have to do as I tell you».
«Im not going there», Oblomov said firmly.
«To hell with you, then», replied Tarantyev, and, pulling his hat over his eyes, walked to the door.
«You funny fellow», Tarantyev said, coming back. «Do you find it so pleasant here?»
«Pleasant? Why its so near to everything», Oblomov said. «To the shops, the theatre, my friends its the centre of the city, everything»
«Wha-at?» Tarantyev interrupted him. «And how long is it since you went out? Tell me that. How long is it since you went to a theatre? Who are the friends you visit? Why the hell do you want to live in the centre of the city, pray?»
«What do you mean, why? For lots of reasons».
«You see, you dont know yourself. But there why, think of it: youll live in the house of a gentlewoman, a good friend of mine, in peace and quiet. No one to disturb you no noise, clean and tidy. Why, you live here just as at an inn you, a gentleman, a landowner! But there everything is clean and quiet, and theres always someone to talk to if youre bored. Except me, no one will come to visit you there. Two children play about with them to your hearts content. What more do you want? And think what you will save! What do you pay here?»
«Fifteen hundred».
«Well, there youd pay a thousand for almost a whole house! And such lovely bright rooms! Shes long been wanting a quiet, tidy lodger so there you are!»
Oblomov shook his head absent-mindedly.
«Nonsense, youll move all right!» said Tarantyev. «Just consider: itll cost you half of what youre spending here: youll save five hundred in rent alone. Your food will be twice as good and as clean; your cook and Zakhar wont be able to steal»
A growl was heard from the entrance hall.
« and therell be more order too», Tarantyev went on. «Why, its dreadful to sit down to dinner at your place now. You want the pepper it isnt there; vinegar theyve forgotten to buy any, the knives have not been cleaned; you say you keep losing your linen dust everywhere its disgusting! And there a woman will be keeping house neither you, nor that fool Zakhar»
The growling in the entrance hall grew louder.
« that old dog wont have to bother about anything», Tarantyev went on. «You will be provided with board and lodgings. Why hesitate? Move and thats the end of it».
«But how could I for no rhyme or reason suddenly move to Vyborg?»
«Whats the use of talking to you?» Tarantyev said, wiping the perspiration from his face. «Its summer time now: why, its as good as living in a country house. Why rot here in Gorokhovaya Street? There you would have the Bezbarodkin Gardens, Okhta is next door, the Neva within a few yards, your own kitchen garden no dust, no stuffiness! Why waste time thinking? Ill nip over to her now before dinner youll let me have the cab fares and to-morrow you can move»
«What a man!» said Oblomov. «Suddenly he gets a crazy idea into his head and I have to move to Vyborg. I mean, its not difficult to think of such a plan. No, sir, youd better think of something that would make it possible for me to stay here. Ive lived here for eight years and I dont want to change».
«Its settled: youre going to move. Ill go and see my friend at once and call about my job another time».
He was about to go, but Oblomov stopped him.
«Wait, wait! Where are you off to? Ive a much more important business to settle. Have a look at the letter Ive received from my bailiff and tell me what to do about it».
«Dear me, you are a queer fish and no mistake», Tarantyev replied. «You cant do anything by yourself. Its always I who have to do things for you. Of what use is a man like you? But, then, youre not a man: youre just a stuffed dummy».
«Wheres that letter? Zakhar, Zakhar! Hes put it away somewhere again!» Oblomov said.
«Heres the bailiffs letter», said Alexeyev, picking up the crumpled letter.
«Yes, here it is», Oblomov repeated and began to read it aloud. «What do you say?» he asked when he had finished reading the letter. «What am I to do? Droughts, arrears»
«Youre hopeless hopeless!» said Tarantyev.
«But why am I hopeless?»
«Why, arent you hopeless?»
«Well, if I am, tell me what to do».
«And what will I get out of it?»
«Ive promised you champagne what more do you want?»
«Champagne was for finding you a flat. Why, Ive done you a favour, and you dont appreciate it you argue about it youre ungrateful. Well, try and find a flat by yourself! And what a flat! The main thing is youll have absolute peace, just as if you were living at your own sisters. Two children, an unmarried brother, I shall be calling every day»
«All right, all right», Oblomov interrupted. «Youd better tell me now what I am to do about the bailiff».
«No, sir, not unless you add beer for dinner. Ill tell you then».
«He wants beer now! Havent you had enough».
«Good-bye, then», said Tarantyev, again putting on his hat.
«Good heavens! here the bailiff writes that my income will be two thousand less, and he wants beer, too! All right, buy some beer».
«Lets have some more money», said Tarantyev.
«But what about the change from the ten-rouble note?»