Tough titty.
Come on, man. I got it, but I cant bet it.
Bet, check, or fold, fella, the dealer said with a fat smirk.
Benson looked around desperately. There was a sort of house rule against borrowing at the table. Wait a minute, he said. How about this watch? He held out his arm.
I got a watch, the dealer said, but he looked interested.
Come on, man. I got that watch when I graduated from high school. My folks give a hundred and a half for it. Itll sure as hell cover any bet in this chickenshit little poker game.
The fat guy held out his hand. Benson gave him the watch.
Give you five bucks.
Bullshit! That watch is worth a hundred and a half, I told you.
Not to me, it aint. Five bucks.
Fuck you, Buster. You aint gittin my watch for no lousy five bucks.
I guess you better throw in your hand then, huh?
Christ, man, gimme a break.
Come on, fella, the fat guy said, youre holdin up the game. Five bucks. Take it or leave it.
I could see the agony of indecision in Bensons face. Five dollars was the current bet limit. All right, he said finally.
He bet two. The dealer raised him three. Benson called and rolled over his hole cards. He had his straight. His face was jubilant. He looked more like a kid than ever.
The fat guy had a flush.
Benson watched numbly, rubbing his bare left wrist, as the chortling fat man raked in the money. Finally he got up and went quickly out of the cargo hold.
Hey, man, the fat dealer called after him, Ill give you a buck apiece for your boots. He howled with laughter.
Another player took Bensons place.
That was kinda hard, a master sergeant named Riker drawled mildly from the other end of the table.
Thats how we play the game where I come from, Sarge, the fat man said.
It took me two days to get him, but I finally nailed him right to the wall. The pots were occasionally getting up to forty or fifty dollars by then, and the fat man was on a losing streak.
He had two low pair showing, and he was betting hard, hoping to get even. It was pretty obvious that he had a full house, seven and threes. I had two queens, a nine and the joker showing. My hand looked like a pat straight, but I had two aces in the hole. My aces and queens would stomp hell out of his sevens and threes.
Except that on the last round I picked up another ace.
He bet ten dollars. I raised him twenty-five.
I aint got that much, he said.
Tough titty.
I got you beat.
You better call the bet then.
You cant just buy the fuckin pot!
Call or fold, friend. I was enjoying it.
Come on, man. You cant just buy the fuckin pot!
You already said that. How much you got?
I got twelve bucks. He thought I was going to reduce my bet so he could call me. His face relaxed a little.
You got a watch? I asked him quietly.
He caught on then. You bastard! He glared at me. He sure wanted to keep Bensons watch. You aint gettin this watch that way, fella.
I shrugged and reached for the pot.
What the hell you doin? he squawked.
If youre not gonna call
All right, all right, you bastard! He peeled off Bensons watch and threw it in the pot. There, youre called.
That makes seventeen, I said. Youre still eight bucks light.
Fuck you, fella! That goddamn watch is worth a hundred and fifty bucks!
I saw you buy it, friend. The price was five. Thats what you paid for it, so I guess thats what its worth. You got another watch?
You aint gettin my watch.
I reached for the pot again.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! He pulled off his own watch.
Thats twenty-two, I said. Youre still light.
Come on, man. My watch is worth more than five bucks.
A Timex? Dont be stupid. Im giving you a break letting you have five on it. I reached for the pot again.
I aint got nothin else.
Tell you what, sport. Ill give you a buck apiece for your boots.
What the fuck you want my fuckin boots for?
You gonna call?
All right. My fuckin boots are in.
Put em on the table, sport.
He scowled at me and started unlacing his boots. There, he snapped, plunking them down on the table, youre called.
Youre still a buck light. I knew I was being a prick about it, but I didnt give a damn. I get that way sometimes.
He stared at me, not saying anything.
I waited, letting him sweat. Then I dropped in on him very quietly. Your pants ought to cover it. Some guy laughed.
My pants! he almost screamed.
On the table, I said, pointing, or I take the pot.
Fuck ya!
I reached for the pot again.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! His voice was desperate. He stood up, emptied his pockets, and yanked off his pants. He wasnt wearing any shorts and his nudity was grossly obscene. He threw the pants at me, but I deflected them into the center of the table. All right, you son of a bitch! he said, not sitting down. Lets see your pissy little straight beat a full-fuckin house! He rolled over his third seven.
I havent got a straight, friend.
Then I win, huh?
I shook my head. You lose. I pulled the joker away from the queens and the nine and slowly started turning up my buried aces. One. Two. Three. And four. Is that enough, friend? I asked him.
Je-sus Christ! some guy said reverently.
The fat man stood looking at the aces for a long time. Then he stumbled away from the table and almost ran out of the cargo hold, his fat behind jiggling with every step.
I still say its a mighty hard way to play poker, Sergeant Riker said softly as I hauled in the merchandise.
I figured he had it coming, I said shortly.
Maybe so, son, maybe so, but that still dont make it right, does it?
And that finished my winning streak. Riker proceeded to give me a series of very expensive poker lessons. By the time I quit that night, I was back down to four hundred dollars. I sent the fat guys watch, boots, and pants back to him with one of his buddies, and went up on deck to get some air. The engine pounded in the steel deck plates, and the wake was streaming out behind us, white against the black water.
Smoke, son? It was Riker. He leaned against the rail beside me and held out his pack.
Thanks, I said. I ran out about an hour ago.
Nice night, aint it? His voice was soft and pleasant. I couldnt really pin down his drawl. It was sort of Southern.
I looked up at the stars. Yeah, I said. Ive been down at that poker table for so long Id almost forgotten what the stars looked like.
The ship took a larger wave at a diagonal and rolled with an odd, lurching kind of motion.
You still ahead of the game, son? he asked me, his voice serious.
A little bit, I said cautiously.
If it was me, he said, I wouldnt go back no more. Youve won yourself a little money, and you got your buddys watch back for him. If it was me, Id just call er quits.