Well, I dont, Benedict put in bluntly. My good woman, what are you talking about?
Why, the reason I said you were Camillas husband. It was because of Beryl. She was driving me quite madall those sly digs and innuendos. She was convinced from the first that it was all folderol, though how she could tell, Im sure I dont know. Your letters sounded so convincing that sometimes even I thought that you really had gotten engaged. But she would make remarks in that insinuating voice of hers You know what I mean. So vastly irritating. Your uncle Varian always used to say he wanted to pinch her lips shut whenever she began to talk that way.
Yes, Aunt, Camilla said, trying to bring her back on track. But what happened this time?
She kept asking why you were so vague about your wedding plans. She said it didnt sound natural, a bride-to-be not bubbling over with news of her trousseau and her dress. Well, that is true, but I can quite understand why you wouldnt think of putting things like that in your letters, my love, since you have no interest in marrying. I should have thought of it, for that is exactly how I was when Varian and I were engaged, always talking about my dress and flowers and
Mrs. Elliot Benedict reminded her flatly.
Oh. Well, one day she said, in that silly jesting way of hers that isnt joking at allyou know what I mean. Anyway, she said, right there in front of the EarlI am positive she meant to do it that waythat she thought you didnt mean to marry at all, because you hadnt set a date. She didnt go so far as to say that you had made the whole thing up, although Im certain thats what she wished to say, for she knows that the Earl wont listen to her speak an ill word about you. That is why she always couches her statements in that pseudolaughing way. But she said, with a false little titter, that she thought you must be getting cold feet, and she reminded him how you had always been so set against marriage. So unnatural in a gel that age. Lydia imitated her in-laws drawn-out vowels and nasal tone to perfection, even adding the way Aunt Beryl had of lifting her chin and stroking down her throat.
Camilla had to chuckle. So you, of course, decided to tell her that I had already married.
I didnt mean to. But she was looking at me in that way, you know, and I opened my mouth and somehow it just came out. I told her I had gotten a letter from you, and that you and your Mr. Lassiter had gotten married two weeks ago.
Camilla let out a low groan.
Im sorry, Camilla, but once Id done it, what could I do? I didnt think it would do any harm. It seemed no worse for you to pretend to be married than to pretend to be engaged. And it was so pleasant to see Beryl sitting there with her mouth opening and closing. She paused, then added, a trifle resentfully, I never dreamed you would actually bring a man with you. I thought you would arrive by yourself, with some excuse why Mr. Lassiter could not come. And since we would only be talking about him, what difference would it make whether he was your fiancé or your husband?
Of course, Benedict agreed. A mere trifle.
Lydia smiled at him, pleased by his understanding, and said, Exactly. I am so glad to hear you say so. She turned to Camilla. Where did you find him? I dont understand how you managed to come up with him.
I paid him, Camilla told her bluntly.
Lydias eyes widened. You mean you can buy a husband?
Actually, she only bought a fiancé, Benedict stuck in. Now that I am a husband, perhaps I should charge more. What do you think, Camilla?
I think this is scarcely the time for humor. She turned back to her aunt. I didnt mean that I purchased a husband, Aunt Lydia. I meant that I am paying him to pretend to be my fiancé.
How odd, Lydia said thoughtfully.
But that doesnt matter now. What is important is the fact that Aunt Beryl thinks we are marriedand she put us in the same bedroom!
Lydia moaned. This is terrible. Your reputation will be ruined! Whatever are we to do? Oh, drat my wretched tongue!
Its all right, Lydia. Dont worry about it. We will manage to scrape by.