This is a young lady, said the Gryphon, she wants to know your history.
Ill tell it her, said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: sit down, both of you, and dont speak a word. Ill tell a story.
So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice waited patiently.
Once, said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, I was a real Turtle.
Next was a very long silence. The Mock Turtle was only sobbing. Alice was going to get up and say, Thank you for your interesting story, but she sat still and said nothing.
When we were little, the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtlewe called him Tortoise
Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasnt one? Alice asked.
We called him Tortoise because he taught us, said the Mock Turtle angrily, and really you are very silly!
Yes, dont ask such simple questions, added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice. At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, Go on, old fellow!
And the Mock Turtle went on in these words:
Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you dont believe it
Why? I didnt say that! interrupted Alice.
You did, said the Mock Turtle.
Hold your tongue[75]! added the Gryphon.
The Mock Turtle went on.
We had the best educations in fact, we went to school every day
So what? asked Alice; I go to school everyday, too. Why are you so proud?
With extras[76]? asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.
Yes, said Alice, we learned French and music.
And washing? said the Mock Turtle.
Certainly not! said Alice indignantly.
Ah! then your school isnt a really good school, said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. We had washingextra.
What for? asked Alice; You were living at the bottom of the sea.
Yes, I was, said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. I only took the regular course[77].
What was that? inquired Alice.
Reeling and Writhing[78]. Different branches of Arithmetic, the Mock Turtle replied; Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision[79].
I never heard of Uglification, Alice said. What is it?
The Gryphon was surprised.
What! Never heard of that! it exclaimed. You know what to beautify is, I suppose?
Yes, said Alice doubtfully: it means to make something prettier.
Well, then, the Gryphon went on, if you dont know what to uglify[80] is, you are just foolish.
Alice turned to the Mock Turtle, and said What else did you learn?
Well, there was Mystery, the Mock Turtle replied, Mystery,[81] ancient and modern, with Seaography: then Drawling, Stretching[82], and Fainting in Coils.
What was that like? said Alice.
Well, I cant show it you myself, the Mock Turtle said: Im too old for that. And the Gryphon never learnt it.
I had no time, said the Gryphon: I went to the Classics master, though. He was an old crab