Oh, you make me tired! says Tom. I dont want to argue any more with people like you and Huck Finn, thats always wandering from the subject, and aint got any more sense than to try to reason out a thing thats pure theology by the laws that protect real estate!
Now thats just where Tom Sawyer warnt fair. Jim didnt mean no harm, and I didnt mean no harm. We knowed well enough that he was right and we was wrong, and all we was after was to get at the HOW of it, and that was all; and the only reason he couldnt explain it so we could understand it was because we was ignorant yes, and pretty dull, too, I aint denying that; but, land! that aint no crime, I should think.
But he wouldnt hear no more about it just said if we had tackled the thing in the proper spirit, he would a raised a couple of thousand knights and put them in steel armor from head to heel, and made me a lieutenant and Jim a sutler, and took the command himself and brushed the whole paynim outfit into the sea like flies and come back across the world in a glory like sunset. But he said we didnt know enough to take the chance when we had it, and he wouldnt ever offer it again. And he didnt. When he once got set, you couldnt budge him.
But I didnt care much. I am peaceable, and dont get up rows with people that aint doing nothing to me. I allowed if the paynim was satisfied I was, and we would let it stand at that.
Now Tom he got all that notion out of Walter Scotts book, which he was always reading. And it WAS a wild notion, because in my opinion he never couldve raised the men, and if he did, as like as not he wouldve got licked. I took the book and read all about it, and as near as I could make it out, most of the folks that shook farming to go crusading had a mighty rocky time of it.
CHAPTER II. THE BALLOON ASCENSION
WELL, Tom got up one thing after another, but they all had tender spots about em somewheres, and he had to shove em aside. So at last he was about in despair. Then the St. Louis papers begun to talk a good deal about the balloon that was going to sail to Europe, and Tom sort of thought he wanted to go down and see what it looked like, but couldnt make up his mind. But the papers went on talking, and so he allowed that maybe if he didnt go he mightnt ever have another chance to see a balloon; and next, he found out that Nat Parsons was going down to see it, and that decided him, of course. He wasnt going to have Nat Parsons coming back bragging about seeing the balloon, and him having to listen to it and keep quiet. So he wanted me and Jim to go too, and we went.
It was a noble big balloon, and had wings and fans and all sorts of things, and wasnt like any balloon you see in pictures. It was away out toward the edge of town, in a vacant lot, corner of Twelfth street; and there was a big crowd around it, making fun of it, and making fun of the man, a lean pale feller with that soft kind of moonlight in his eyes, you know, and they kept saying it wouldnt go. It made him hot to hear them, and he would turn on them and shake his fist and say they was animals and blind, but some day they would find they had stood face to face with one of the men that lifts up nations and makes civilizations, and was too dull to know it; and right here on this spot their own children and grandchildren would build a monument to him that would outlast a thousand years, but his name would outlast the monument. And then the crowd would burst out in a laugh again, and yell at him, and ask him what was his name before he was married, and what he would take to not do it, and what was his sisters cats grandmothers name, and all the things that a crowd says when theyve got hold of a feller that they see they can plague. Well, some things they said WAS funny, yes, and mighty witty too, I aint denying that, but all the same it warnt fair nor brave, all them people pitching on one, and they so glib and sharp, and him without any gift of talk to answer back with. But, good land! what did he want to sass back for? You see, it couldnt do him no good, and it was just nuts for them. They HAD him, you know. But that was his way. I reckon he couldnt help it; he was made so, I judge. He was a good enough sort of cretur, and hadnt no harm in him, and was just a genius, as the papers said, which wasnt his fault. We cant all be sound: weve got to be the way were made. As near as I can make out, geniuses think they know it all, and so they wont take peoples advice, but always go their own way, which makes everybody forsake them and despise them, and that is perfectly natural. If they was humbler, and listened and tried to learn, it would be better for them.
The part the professor was in was like a boat, and was big and roomy, and had water-tight lockers around the inside to keep all sorts of things in, and a body could sit on them, and make beds on them, too. We went aboard, and there was twenty people there, snooping around and examining, and old Nat Parsons was there, too. The professor kept fussing around getting ready, and the people went ashore, drifting out one at a time, and old Nat he was the last. Of course it wouldnt do to let him go out behind US. We mustnt budge till he was gone, so we could be last ourselves.
But he was gone now, so it was time for us to follow. I heard a big shout, and turned around the city was dropping from under us like a shot! It made me sick all through, I was so scared. Jim turned gray and couldnt say a word, and Tom didnt say nothing, but looked excited. The city went on dropping down, and down, and down; but we didnt seem to be doing nothing but just hang in the air and stand still. The houses got smaller and smaller, and the city pulled itself together, closer and closer, and the men and wagons got to looking like ants and bugs crawling around, and the streets like threads and cracks; and then it all kind of melted together, and there wasnt any city any more it was only a big scar on the earth, and it seemed to me a body could see up the river and down the river about a thousand miles, though of course it wasnt so much. By and by the earth was a ball just a round ball, of a dull color, with shiny stripes wriggling and winding around over it, which was rivers. The Widder Douglas always told me the earth was round like a ball, but I never took any stock in a lot of them superstitions o hers, and of course I paid no attention to that one, because I could see myself that the world was the shape of a plate, and flat. I used to go up on the hill, and take a look around and prove it for myself, because I reckon the best way to get a sure thing on a fact is to go and examine for yourself, and not take anybodys say-so. But I had to give in now that the widder was right. That is, she was right as to the rest of the world, but she warnt right about the part our village is in; that part is the shape of a plate, and flat, I take my oath!
The professor had been quiet all this time, as if he was asleep; but he broke loose now, and he was mighty bitter. He says something like this:
Idiots! They said it wouldnt go; and they wanted to examine it, and spy around and get the secret of it out of me. But I beat them. Nobody knows the secret but me. Nobody knows what makes it move but me; and its a new power a new power, and a thousand times the strongest in the earth! Steams foolishness to it! They said I couldnt go to Europe. To Europe! Why, theres power aboard to last five years, and feed for three months. They are fools! What do they know about it? Yes, and they said my air-ship was flimsy. Why, shes good for fifty years! I can sail the skies all my life if I want to, and steer where I please, though they laughed at that, and said I couldnt. Couldnt steer! Come here, boy; well see. You press these buttons as I tell you.