It WAS a powerful good adventure, and Tom Sawyer had to work his bullet-wound mighty lively to hold his own against it.
Well, by and by Toms glory got to paling down graduly, on account of other things turning up for the people to talk about first a horse-race, and on top of that a house afire, and on top of that the circus, and on top of that the eclipse; and that started a revival, same as it always does, and by that time there wasnt any more talk about Tom, so to speak, and you never see a person so sick and disgusted.
Pretty soon he got to worrying and fretting right along day in and day out, and when I asked him what WAS he in such a state about, he said it most broke his heart to think how time was slipping away, and him getting older and older, and no wars breaking out and no way of making a name for himself that he could see. Now that is the way boys is always thinking, but he was the first one I ever heard come out and say it.
So then he set to work to get up a plan to make him celebrated; and pretty soon he struck it, and offered to take me and Jim in. Tom Sawyer was always free and generous that way. Theres a-plenty of boys thats mighty good and friendly when YOUVE got a good thing, but when a good thing happens to come their way they dont say a word to you, and try to hog it all. That warnt ever Tom Sawyers way, I can say that for him. Theres plenty of boys that will come hankering and groveling around you when youve got an apple and beg the core off of you; but when theyve got one, and you beg for the core and remind them how you give them a core one time, they say thank you most to death, but there aint a-going to be no core. But I notice they always git come up with; all you got to do is to wait.
Well, we went out in the woods on the hill, and Tom told us what it was. It was a crusade.
Whats a crusade? I says.
He looked scornful, the way hes always done when he was ashamed of a person, and says:
Huck Finn, do you mean to tell me you dont know what a crusade is?
No, says I, I dont. And I dont care to, nuther. Ive lived till now and done without it, and had my health, too. But as soon as you tell me, Ill know, and thats soon enough. I dont see any use in finding out things and clogging up my head with them when I maynt ever have any occasion to use em. There was Lance Williams, he learned how to talk Choctaw here till one come and dug his grave for him. Now, then, whats a crusade? But I can tell you one thing before you begin; if its a patent-right, theres no money in it. Bill Thompson he
Patent-right! says he. I never see such an idiot. Why, a crusade is a kind of war.
I thought he must be losing his mind. But no, he was in real earnest, and went right on, perfectly cam.
A crusade is a war to recover the Holy Land from the paynim.
Which Holy Land?
Why, the Holy Land there aint but one.
What do we want of it?
Why, cant you understand? Its in the hands of the paynim, and its our duty to take it away from them.
How did we come to let them git hold of it?
We didnt come to let them git hold of it. They always had it.
Why, Tom, then it must belong to them, dont it?
Why of course it does. Who said it didnt?
I studied over it, but couldnt seem to git at the right of it, no way. I says:
Its too many for me, Tom Sawyer. If I had a farm and it was mine, and another person wanted it, would it be right for him to
Oh, shucks! you dont know enough to come in when it rains, Huck Finn. It aint a farm, its entirely different. You see, its like this. They own the land, just the mere land, and thats all they DO own; but it was our folks, our Jews and Christians, that made it holy, and so they havent any business to be there defiling it. Its a shame, and we ought not to stand it a minute. We ought to march against them and take it away from them.
Why, it does seem to me its the most mixed-up thing I ever see! Now, if I had a farm and another person
Dont I tell you it hasnt got anything to do with farming? Farming is business, just common low-down business: thats all it is, its all you can say for it; but this is higher, this is religious, and totally different.
Religious to go and take the land away from people that owns it?
Certainly; its always been considered so.
Jim he shook his head, and says:
Mars Tom, I reckon deys a mistake about it somers dey mos sholy is. Is religious myself, en I knows plenty religious people, but I haint run across none dat acts like dat.
It made Tom hot, and he says:
Well, its enough to make a body sick, such mullet-headed ignorance! If either of youd read anything about history, youd know that Richard Cur de Loon, and the Pope, and Godfrey de Bulleyn, and lots more of the most noble-hearted and pious people in the world, hacked and hammered at the paynims for more than two hundred years trying to take their land away from them, and swum neck-deep in blood the whole time and yet heres a couple of sap-headed country yahoos out in the backwoods of Missouri setting themselves up to know more about the rights and wrongs of it than they did! Talk about cheek!
Well, of course, that put a more different light on it, and me and Jim felt pretty cheap and ignorant, and wished we hadnt been quite so chipper. I couldnt say nothing, and Jim he couldnt for a while; then he says:
Well, den, I reckon its all right; becase ef dey didnt know, dey aint no use for po ignorant folks like us to be trying to know; en so, ef its our duty, we got to go en tackle it en do de bes we can. Same time, I feel as sorry for dem paynims as Mars Tom. De hard part gwine to be to kill folks dat a body haint been quainted wid and dat haint done him no harm. Dats it, you see. Ef we wuz to go mongst em, jist we three, en say wes hungry, en ast em for a bite to eat, why, maybe deys jist like yuther people. Dont you reckon dey is? Why, DEYD give it, I know dey would, en den
Then what?
Well, Mars Tom, my idea is like dis. It aint no use, we CANT kill dem po strangers dat aint doin us no harm, till weve had practice I knows it perfectly well, Mars Tom deed I knows it perfectly well. But ef we takes a axe or two, jist you en me en Huck, en slips acrost de river to-night arter de moons gone down, en kills dat sick famly dats over on the Sny, en burns dey house down, en
Oh, you make me tired! says Tom. I dont want to argue any more with people like you and Huck Finn, thats always wandering from the subject, and aint got any more sense than to try to reason out a thing thats pure theology by the laws that protect real estate!
Now thats just where Tom Sawyer warnt fair. Jim didnt mean no harm, and I didnt mean no harm. We knowed well enough that he was right and we was wrong, and all we was after was to get at the HOW of it, and that was all; and the only reason he couldnt explain it so we could understand it was because we was ignorant yes, and pretty dull, too, I aint denying that; but, land! that aint no crime, I should think.
But he wouldnt hear no more about it just said if we had tackled the thing in the proper spirit, he would a raised a couple of thousand knights and put them in steel armor from head to heel, and made me a lieutenant and Jim a sutler, and took the command himself and brushed the whole paynim outfit into the sea like flies and come back across the world in a glory like sunset. But he said we didnt know enough to take the chance when we had it, and he wouldnt ever offer it again. And he didnt. When he once got set, you couldnt budge him.