Now that her companions werent simulated puppets, Riley paused for a moment to appreciate their real-life presence. They seemed like an odd pair one of them mature and solid, the other young and impulsive.
But they were both among her favorite people in the world.
Riley had already worked with Lucy in the field more than once, and she knew that she could count on her. The dark-skinned, dark-eyed young agent always seemed to sparkle from inside, radiating energy and enthusiasm.
By contrast, Bill was Rileys age, and although his forty years were slowing him a little, he was still a topnotch field agent.
Hes also still pretty good-looking, she reminded herself.
For a moment she wondered now that things were tanking between her and Ryan, maybe she and Bill might ?
But no, she knew that was a terrible idea. In the past, she and Bill had both made clumsy efforts to start something serious, and the results had always been a disaster. Bill was a great partner and an even greater friend. It would be stupid to spoil all that.
Good work, Bill said to Riley. He was grinning broadly.
Yeah, you saved my life, Agent Paige, Lucy said, laughing. I cant believe I let myself get shot, though. I missed that guy when he was right in front of me!
Thats part of what this system is for, Bill told Lucy, patting her on the back. Even very experienced agents tend to miss their targets at close range, within ten feet. VR helps you deal with those kinds of problems.
Lucy said, Well, theres nothing like taking a virtual bullet in the shoulder to teach you that lesson. She rubbed her shoulder, where the equipment had delivered a slight sting to let her know she was hit.
Its better than a real one, Riley said. Anyway, I wish you a speedy recovery.
Thanks! Lucy said, laughing again. Im feeling better already.
Riley holstered the model pistol and picked up the fake assault rifle. She remembered the sharp recoil that shed felt firing both weapons. And the nonexistent abandoned building had been detailed and vivid.
Even so, Riley felt strangely empty and unsatisfied.
But that certainly wasnt the fault of either Bill or Lucy. And she was grateful that theyd taken some time this morning to join her in this exercise.
Thanks for agreeing to do this with me, she said. I guess I needed to blow off some steam.
Feel better? Lucy asked.
Yeah, Riley said.
It wasnt true, but she figured a little lie wouldnt hurt.
How about the three of us go get a cup of coffee? Bill asked.
Sounds great! Lucy said.
Riley shook her head.
Not today, thanks. Some other time. You two go ahead.
Bill and Lucy left the huge VR room. For a moment, Riley wondered whether maybe she should go with them after all.
No, Id be lousy company, she thought.
Ryans words kept echoing through her mind
Riley, Jilly was your decision.
Ryan really had some nerve, turning his back on poor Jilly.
But Riley wasnt angry now. Instead, she felt achingly sad.
But why?
Slowly she realized
None of its real.
My whole life, everythings fake.
Her hopes for becoming a family again with Ryan and the kids had just been an illusion.
Just like this damned simulation.
She fell to her knees and started to sob.
It took a few minutes for Riley to pull herself together. Grateful that no one had spotted her collapse, she got to her feet and headed back to her office. As soon as she stepped inside, her desk phone started ringing.
She knew who was calling.
She was expecting it.
And she knew that the conversation wasnt going to be easy.
CHAPTER FIVE
Hello, Riley, a womans voice said when Riley picked up the phone.
It was a sweet voice quavering and feeble with age, but friendly.
Hello, Paula, Riley said. How are you?
The caller sighed.
Well, you know todays always hard.
Riley understood. Paulas daughter, Tilda, had been killed on this day twenty-five years ago.
I hope you dont mind my calling, Paula said.
Of course not, Paula, Riley assured her.
After all, Riley had initiated their rather peculiar relationship years ago. Riley had never actually worked on the case that included Tildas murder. She had gotten in touch with the victims mother long after the case had gone cold.
This annual call between them had been a ritual for years.
Riley still found it strange, having these conversations with someone shed never met. She didnt even know what Paula looked like. She knew that Paula was sixty-eight now. She had been forty-three, just three years older than Riley, when her daughter was murdered. Riley imagined her as a kindly, gray-haired, grandmotherly figure.
How is Justin? Riley asked.
Riley had talked to Paulas husband a couple of times, but had never gotten to know him.
Paula sighed again.
He passed away last summer.
Im sorry, Riley said. How did it happen?
It was sudden, completely out of the blue. It was an aneurysm or maybe a heart attack. They offered to do an autopsy to determine which it was. I said, Why bother? It wasnt going to bring him back.
Riley felt terrible for the woman. She knew that Tilda had been her only daughter. The loss of her husband couldnt be easy.
How are you coping? Riley asked.
One day at a time, Paula said. Its lonely here now.
There was a note of almost unbearable sadness in her voice, as if she felt ready to join her husband in death.
Riley found such loneliness hard to imagine. She felt a burst of gratitude to have caring people in her life April, Gabriela, and now Jilly. Riley had endured fears of losing all of them. April had been seriously endangered more than once.
And of course, there were wonderful old friends, like Bill. He had also faced more than his share of risks.
I wont ever take them for granted, she thought.
And how about you, dear? Paula asked.
Maybe that was why Riley felt as though she could talk with Paula about things that she couldnt with most people.
Well, Im in the process of adopting a thirteen-year-old girl. Thats been an adventure. Oh, and Ryan came back for a while. Then he took off again. Another sweet young thing caught his eye.
How awful for you! Paula said. I was lucky with Justin. He never strayed. And I suppose in the long run he was lucky too. He went quickly, no lingering pain or suffering. I hope when my time comes
Paulas voice trailed off.
Riley shuddered.
Paula had lost a daughter to a killer who had never been brought to justice.
Riley had also lost someone to a killer who was never found.
She spoke slowly.
Paula I still have flashbacks about it. Nightmares too.
Paula replied in a kindly, caring voice.
I dont suppose thats surprising. You were little. And you were there when it happened. I was spared what you went through.
That word spared startled Riley.
It didnt seem to her that Paula had been spared in any way.
True, Paula hadnt been forced to watch her daughter die.
But surely losing ones only child was even worse than what Riley had suffered.