Weeks, Jacob said in a flat monotone.
I couldnt respond; I was still frozen.
He opened his eyes. They were beyond fury now.
Hes going to change you into a filthy bloodsucker in just a few weeks! Jacob hissed through his teeth.
Too stunned to take offense at his words, I just nodded mutely.
His face turned green under the russet skin.
Of course, Jake, I whispered after a long minute of silence. Hes seventeen, Jacob. And I get closer to nineteen every day. Besides, whats the point in waiting? Hes all I want. What else can I do?
Id meant that as a rhetorical question.
His words cracked like snaps of a whip. Anything. Anything else. Youd be better off dead. Id rather you were.
I recoiled like hed slapped me. It hurt worse than if he had.
And then, as the pain shot through me, my own temper burst into flame.
Maybe youll get lucky, I said bleakly, lurching to my feet. Maybe Ill get hit by a truck on my way back.
I grabbed my motorcycle and pushed it out into the rain. He didnt move as I passed him. As soon as I was on the small, muddy path, I climbed on and kicked the bike to life. The rear tire spit a fountain of mud toward the garage, and I hoped that it hit him.
I got absolutely soaked as I sped across the slick highway toward the Cullens house. The wind felt like it was freezing the rain against my skin, and my teeth were chattering before I was halfway there.
Motorcycles were too impractical for Washington. I would sell the stupid thing first chance I got.
I walked the bike into the Cullens cavernous garage and was unsurprised to find Alice waiting for me, perched lightly on the hood of her Porsche. Alice stroked the glossy yellow paint.
I havent even had a chance to drive it. She sighed.
Sorry, I spit through my rattling teeth.
You look like you could use a hot shower, she said, offhand, as she sprang lightly to her feet.
Yep.
She pursed her lips, taking in my expression carefully. Do you want to talk about it?
Nope.
She nodded in assent, but her eyes were raging with curiosity.
Do you want to go to Olympia tonight?
Not really. Cant I go home?
She grimaced.
Never mind, Alice, I said. Ill stay if it makes things easier for you.
Thanks, she sighed in relief.
I went to bed early that night, curling up on his sofa again.
It was still dark when I woke. I was groggy, but I knew it wasnt near morning yet. My eyes closed, and I stretched, rolling over. It took me a second before I realized that the movement should have dumped me onto the floor. And that I was much too comfortable.
I rolled back over, trying to see. It was darker than last nightthe clouds were too thick for the moon to shine through.
Sorry, he murmured so softly that his voice was part of the darkness. I didnt mean to wake you.
I tensed, waiting for the furyboth his and minebut it was only quiet and calm in the darkness of his room. I could almost taste the sweetness of reunion in the air, a separate fragrance from the perfume of his breath; the emptiness when we were apart left its own bitter aftertaste, something I didnt consciously notice until it was removed.
There was no friction in the space between us. The stillness was peacefulnot like the calm before the tempest, but like a clear night untouched by even the dream of a storm.
And I didnt care that I was supposed to be angry with him. I didnt care that I was supposed to be angry with everyone. I reached out for him, found his hands in the darkness, and pulled myself closer to him. His arms encircled me, cradling me to his chest. My lips searched, hunting along his throat, to his chin, till I finally found his lips.
Edward kissed me softly for a moment, and then he chuckled.
I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often.
Give me a minute to work up to it, I teased, kissing him again.
Ill wait as long as you want, he whispered against my lips. His fingers knotted in my hair.
My breath was becoming uneven. Maybe in the morning.
Whatever you prefer.
Welcome home, I said while his cold lips pressed under my jaw. Im glad you came back.
Thats a very good thing.
Mmm, I agreed, tightening my arms around his neck.
His hand curved around my elbow, moving slowly down my arm, across my ribs and over my waist, tracing along my hip and down my leg, around my knee. He paused there, his hand curling around my calf. He pulled my leg up suddenly, hitching it around his hip.
I stopped breathing. This wasnt the kind of thing he usually allowed. Despite his cold hands, I felt suddenly warm. His lips moved in the hollow at the base of my throat.
Not to bring on the ire prematurely, he whispered, but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that you object to?
Before I could answer, before I could even concentrate enough to make sense of his words, he rolled to the side, pulling me on top of him. He held my face in his hands, angling it up so that his mouth could reach my throat. My breathing was too loudit was almost embarrassing, but I couldnt care quite enough to be ashamed.
The bed? he asked again. I think its nice.
Its unnecessary, I managed to gasp.
He pulled my face back to his, and my lips shaped themselves around his. Slowly this time, he rolled till he hovered over me. He held himself carefully so that I felt none of his weight, but I could feel the cool marble of his body press against mine. My heart was hammering so loudly that it was hard to hear his quiet laughter.
Thats debatable, he disagreed. This would be difficult on a couch.
Cold as ice, his tongue lightly traced the shape of my lips.
My head was spinningthe air was coming too fast and shallow.
Did you change your mind? I asked breathlessly. Maybe hed rethought all his careful rules. Maybe there was more significance to this bed than Id originally guessed. My heart pounded almost painfully as I waited for his answer.
Edward sighed, rolling back so that we were on our sides again.
Dont be ridiculous, Bella, he said, disapproval strong in his voiceclearly, he understood what I meant. I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you dont seem to like. Dont get carried away.
Too late, I muttered. And I like the bed, I added.
Good. I could hear the smile in his voice as he kissed my forehead. I do, too.
But I still think its unnecessary, I continued. If were not going to get carried away, whats the point?
He sighed again. For the hundredth time, Bellaits too dangerous.
I like danger, I insisted.
I know. There was a sour edge to his voice, and I realized that he would have seen the motorcycle in the garage.
Ill tell you whats dangerous, I said quickly, before he could move to a new topic of discussion. Im going to spontaneously combust one of these daysand youll have no one but yourself to blame.
He started to push me away.
What are you doing? I objected, clinging to him.
Protecting you from combustion. If this too much for you. . . .
I can handle it, I insisted.
He let me worm myself back into the circle of his arms.
Im sorry I gave you the wrong impression, he said. I didnt mean to make you unhappy. That wasnt nice.
Actually, it was very, very nice.
He took a deep breath. Arent you tired? I should let you sleep.
No, Im not. I dont mind if you want to give me the wrong impression again.
Thats probably a bad idea. Youre not the only one who gets carried away.
Yes, I am, I grumbled.
He chuckled. You have no idea, Bella. It doesnt help that you are so eager to undermine my self-control, either.
Im not going to apologize for that.
Can I apologize?
For what?
You were angry with me, remember?
Oh, that.
Im sorry. I was wrong. Its much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely here. His arms tightened around me. I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I dont think Ill go so far again. Its not worth it.
I smiled. Didnt you find any mountain lions?
Yes, I did, actually. Still not worth the anxiety. Im sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though. That was a bad idea.
Yes, I agreed.
I wont do it again.
Okay, I said easily. He was already forgiven. But slumber parties do have their advantages. . . . I curled myself closer to him, pressing my lips into the indentation over his collarbone. You can hold me hostage any time you want.
Mmm, he sighed. I may take you up on that.
So is it my turn now?
Your turn? his voice was confused.
To apologize.
What do you have to apologize for?
Arent you mad at me? I asked blankly.
No.
It sounded like he really meant it.
I felt my eyebrows pull together. Didnt you see Alice when you got home?
Yeswhy?
Are you going to take her Porsche back?
Of course not. It was a gift.
I wished I could see his expression. His voice sounded as if Id insulted him.
Dont you want to know what I did? I asked, starting to be puzzled by his apparent lack of concern.
I felt him shrug. Im always interested in everything you dobut you dont have to tell me unless you want to.
But I went to La Push.
I know.
And I ditched school.
So did I.
I stared toward the sound of his voice, tracing his features with my fingers, trying to understand his mood. Where did all this tolerance come from? I demanded.
He sighed.
I decided that you were right. My problem before was more about my . . . prejudice against werewolves than anything else. Im going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment. If you say its safe, then Ill believe you.
Wow.
And . . . most importantly . . . Im not willing to let this drive a wedge between us.
I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes, totally content.
So, he murmured in a casual tone. Did you make plans to go back to La Push again soon?
I didnt answer. His question brought back the memory of Jacobs words, and my throat was suddenly tight.
He misread my silence and the tension in my body.
Just so that I can make my own plans, he explained quickly. I dont want you to feel like you have to hurry back because Im sitting around waiting for you.
No, I said in a voice that sounded strange to me. I dont have plans go back.
Oh. You dont have to do that for me.
I dont think Im welcome anymore, I whispered.
Did you run over someones cat? he asked lightly. I knew he didnt want to force the story out of me, but I could hear the curiosity burning behind his words.
No. I took a deep breath, and then mumbled quickly through the explanation. I thought Jacob would have realized . . . I didnt think it would surprise him.
Edward waited while I hesitated.
He wasnt expecting . . . that it was so soon.
Ah, Edward said quietly.
He said hed rather see me dead. My voice broke on the last word.
Edward was too still for a moment, controlling whatever reaction he didnt want me to see.
Then he crushed me gently to his chest. Im so sorry.
I thought youd be glad, I whispered.
Glad over something thats hurt you? he murmured into my hair. I dont think so, Bella.
I sighed and relaxed, fitting myself to the stone shape of him. But he was motionless again, tense.
Whats wrong? I asked.
Its nothing.
You can tell me.
He paused for a minute. It might make you angry.
I still want to know.
He sighed. I could quite literally kill him for saying that to you. I want to.
I laughed halfheartedly. I guess its a good thing youve got so much self-control.
I could slip. His tone was thoughtful.
If youre going to have a lapse in control, I can think of a better place for it. I reached for his face, trying to pull myself up to kiss him. His arms held me tighter, restraining.
He sighed. Must I always be the responsible one?
I grinned in the darkness. No. Let me be in charge of responsibility for a few minutes . . . or hours.
Goodnight, Bella.
Waitthere was something else I wanted to ask you about.
Whats that?
I was talking to Rosalie last night. . . .
His body tensed again. Yes. She was thinking about that when I got in. She gave you quite a lot to consider, didnt she?
His voice was anxious, and I realized that he thought I wanted to talk about the reasons Rosalied given me for staying human. But I was interested in something much more pressing.
She told me a little bit . . . about the time your family lived in Denali.
There was a short pause; this beginning took him by surprise. Yes?
She mentioned something about a bunch of female vampires . . . and you.
He didnt answer, though I waited for a long moment.
Dont worry, I said, after the silence had grown uncomfortable. She told me you didnt . . . show any preference. But I was just wondering, you know, if any of them had. Shown a preference for you, I mean.
Again he said nothing.
Which one? I asked, trying to keep my voice casual, and not quite managing. Or was there more than one?
No answer. I wished I could see his face, so I could try to guess what this silence meant.
Alice will tell me, I said. Ill go ask her right now.
His arms tightened; I was unable to squirm even an inch away.
Its late, he said. His voice had a little edge to it that was something new. Sort of nervous, maybe a little embarrassed. Besides, I think Alice stepped out. . . .
Its bad, I guessed. Its really bad, isnt it? I started to panic, my heart accelerating as I imagined the gorgeous immortal rival Id never realized I had.