Charlie would love that, I said sarcastically.
I bet he wouldnt mind.
I didnt answer. Jacob was probably right, and that made me grind my teeth together. Charlies blatant preference for my Quileute friends was so unfair. I wondered if he would feel the same if he knew the choice was really between vampires and werewolves.
So whats the latest pack scandal? I asked lightly.
Jacob skidded to a halt, and he stared down at me with shocked eyes.
What? That was a joke.
Oh. He looked away.
I waited for him to start walking again, but he seemed lost in thought.
Is there a scandal? I wondered.
Jacob chuckled once. I forget what its like, not having everyone know everything all the time. Having a quiet, private place inside my head.
We walked along the stony beach quietly for a few minutes.
So what is it? I finally asked. That everyone in your head already knows?
He hesitated for a moment, as if he werent sure how much he was going to tell me. Then he sighed and said, Quil imprinted. Thats three now. The rest of us are starting to get worried. Maybe its more common than the stories say. . . . He frowned, and then turned to stare at me. He gazed into my eyes without speaking, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
What are you staring at? I asked, feeling self-conscious.
He sighed. Nothing.
Jacob started walking again. Without seeming to think about it, he reached out and took my hand. We paced silently across the rocks.
I thought of how we must look walking hand and hand down the beachlike a couple, certainlyand wondered if I should object. But this was the way it had always been with Jacob. . . . No reason to get worked up about it now.
Why is Quils imprinting such a scandal? I asked when it didnt look like he was going to go on. Is it because hes the newest one?
That doesnt have anything to do with it.
Then whats the problem?
Its another one of those legend things. I wonder when were going to stop being surprised that theyre all true? he muttered to himself.
Are you going to tell me? Or do I have to guess?
Youd never get it right. See, Quil hasnt been hanging out with us, you know, until just recently. So he hadnt been around Emilys place much.
Quil imprinted on Emily, too? I gasped.
No! I told you not to guess. Emily had her two nieces down for a visit . . . and Quil met Claire.
He didnt continue. I thought about that for a moment.
Emily doesnt want her niece with a werewolf? Thats a little hypocritical, I said.
But I could understand why she of all people might feel that way. I thought again of the long scars that marred her face and extended all the way down her right arm. Sam had lost control just once when he was standing too close to her. Once was all it took. . . . Id seen the pain in Sams eyes when he looked at what hed done to Emily. I could understand why Emily might want to protect her niece from that.
Would you please stop guessing? Youre way off. Emily doesnt mind that part, its just, well, a little early.
What do you mean early?
Jacob appraised me with narrowed eyes. Try not to be judgmental, okay?
I nodded cautiously.
Claire is two, Jacob told me.
Rain started to fall. I blinked furiously as the drops pelted my face.
Jacob waited in silence. He wore no jacket, as usual; the rain left a spatter of dark spots on his black T-shirt, and dripped through his shaggy hair. His face was expressionless as he watched mine.
Quil . . . imprinted . . . with a two-year-old? I was finally able to ask.
It happens. Jacob shrugged. He bent to grab another rock and sent it flying out into the bay. Or so the stories say.
But shes a baby, I protested.
He looked at me with dark amusement. Quils not getting any older, he reminded me, a bit of acid in his tone. Hell just have to be patient for a few decades.
I . . . dont know what to say.
I was trying my hardest not to be critical, but, in truth, I was horrified. Until now, nothing about the werewolves had bothered me since the day Id found out they werent committing the murders Id suspected them of.
Youre making judgments, he accused. I can see it on your face.
Sorry, I muttered. But it sounds really creepy.
Its not like that; youve got it all wrong, Jacob defended his friend, suddenly vehement. Ive seen what its like, through his eyes. Theres nothing romantic about it at all, not for Quil, not now. He took a deep breath, frustrated. Its so hard to describe. Its not like love at first sight, really. Its more like . . . gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly its not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her. . . . You become whatever she needs you to be, whether thats a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother.
Quil will be the best, kindest big brother any kid ever had. There isnt a toddler on the planet that will be more carefully looked after than that little girl will be. And then, when shes older and needs a friend, hell be more understanding, trustworthy, and reliable than anyone else she knows. And then, when shes grown up, theyll be as happy as Emily and Sam. A strange, bitter edge sharpened his tone at the very end, when he spoke of Sam.
Doesnt Claire get a choice here?
Of course. But why wouldnt she choose him, in the end? Hell be her perfect match. Like he was designed for her alone.
We walked in silence for a moment, till I paused to toss a rock toward the ocean. It fell to the beach several meters short. Jacob laughed at me.
We cant all be freakishly strong, I muttered.
He sighed.
When do you think it will happen for you? I asked quietly.
His answer was flat and immediate. Never.
Its not something you can control, is it?
He was silent for a few minutes. Unconsciously, we both walked slower, barely moving at all.
Its not supposed to be, he admitted. But you have to see herthe one thats supposedly meant for you.
And you think that if you havent seen her yet, then shes not out there? I asked skeptically. Jacob, you havent really seen much of the worldless than me, even.
No, I havent, he said in a low voice. He looked at my face with suddenly piercing eyes. But Ill never see anyone else, Bella. I only see you. Even when I close my eyes and try to see something else. Ask Quil or Embry. It drives them all crazy.
I dropped my eyes to the rocks.
We werent walking anymore. The only sound was of the waves beating against the shore. I couldnt hear the rain over their roar.
Maybe Id better go home, I whispered.
No! he protested, surprised by this conclusion.
I looked up at him again, and his eyes were anxious now.
You have the whole day off, right? The bloodsucker wont be home yet.
I glared at him.
No offense intended, he said quickly.
Yes, I have the whole day. But, Jake . . .
He held up his hands. Sorry, he apologized. I wont be like that anymore. Ill just be Jacob.
I sighed. But if thats what youre thinking . . .
Dont worry about me, he insisted, smiling with deliberate cheer, too brightly. I know what Im doing. Just tell me if Im upsetting you.
I dont know. . . .
Cmon, Bella. Lets go back to the house and get our bikes. Youve got to ride a motorcycle regularly to keep it in tune.
I really dont think Im allowed.
By who? Charlie or the bloodor him?
Both.
Jacob grinned my grin, and he was suddenly the Jacob I missed the most, sunny and warm.
I couldnt help grinning back.
The rain softened, turned to mist.
I wont tell anyone, he promised.
Except every one of your friends.
He shook his head soberly and raised his right hand. I promise not to think about it.
I laughed. If I get hurt, it was because I tripped.
Whatever you say.
We rode our motorcycles on the back roads around La Push until the rain made them too muddy and Jacob insisted that he was going to pass out if he didnt eat soon. Billy greeted me easily when we got to the house, as if my sudden reappearance meant nothing more complicated than that Id wanted to spend the day with my friend. After we ate the sandwiches Jacob made, we went out to the garage and I helped him clean up the bikes. I hadnt been here in monthssince Edward had returnedbut there was no sense of import to it. It was just another afternoon in the garage.
This is nice, I commented when he pulled the warm sodas from the grocery bag. Ive missed this place.
He smiled, looking around at the plastic sheds bolted together over our heads. Yeah, I can understand that. All the splendor of the Taj Mahal, without the inconvenience and expense of traveling to India.
To Washingtons little Taj Mahal, I toasted, holding up my can.
He touched his can to mine.
Do you remember last Valentines Day? I think that was the last time you were herethe last time when things were still . . . normal, I mean.
I laughed. Of course I remember. I traded a lifetime of servitude for a box of conversation hearts. Thats not something Im likely to forget.
He laughed with me. Thats right. Hmm, servitude. Ill have to think of something good. Then he sighed. It feels like it was years ago. Another era. A happier one.
I couldnt agree with him. This was my happy era now. But I was surprised to realize how many things I missed from my own personal dark ages. I stared through the opening at the murky forest. The rain had picked up again, but it was warm in the little garage, sitting next to Jacob. He was as good as a furnace.
His fingers brushed my hand. Things have really changed.
Yeah, I said, and then I reached out and patted the back tire of my bike. Charlie used to like me. I hope Billy doesnt say anything about today. . . . I bit my lip.
He wont. He doesnt get worked up about things the way Charlie does. Hey, I never did apologize officially for that stupid move with the bike. Im real sorry about ratting you out to Charlie. I wish I hadnt.
I rolled my eyes. Me, too.
Im really, really sorry.
He looked at me hopefully, his wet, tangled black hair sticking up in every direction around his pleading face.
Oh, fine! Youre forgiven.
Thanks, Bells!
We grinned at each other for a second, and then his face clouded over.
You know that day, when I brought the bike over . . . Ive been wanting to ask you something, he said slowly. But also . . . not wanting to.
I held very stilla reaction to stress. It was a habit Id picked up from Edward.
Were you just being stubborn because you were mad at me, or were you really serious? he whispered.
About what? I whispered back, though I was sure I knew what he meant.
He glared at me. You know. When you said it was none of my business . . . ifif he bit you. He cringed visibly at the end.
Jake . . . My throat felt swollen. I couldnt finish.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Were you serious?
He was trembling just slightly. His eyes stayed closed.
Yes, I whispered.
Jacob inhaled, slow and deep. I guess I knew that.
I stared at his face, waiting for his eyes to open.
You know what this will mean? He demanded suddenly. You do understand that, dont you? What will happen if they break the treaty?
Well leave first, I said in a small voice.
His eyes flashed open, their black depths full of anger and pain. There wasnt a geographic limit to the treaty, Bella. Our great-grandfathers only agreed to keep the peace because the Cullens swore that they were different, that humans werent in danger from them. They promised they would never kill or change anyone ever again. If they go back on their word, the treaty is meaningless, and they are no different than any other vampires. Once thats established, when we find them again
But, Jake, didnt you break the treaty already? I asked, grasping at straws. Wasnt part of it that you not tell people about the vampires? And you told me. So isnt the treaty sort of moot, anyhow?
Jacob didnt like the reminder; the pain in his eyes hardened into animosity. Yeah, I broke the treatyback before I believed any of it. And Im sure they were informed of that. He glared sourly at my forehead, not meeting my shamed gaze. But its not like that gives them a freebie or anything. Theres no fault for a fault. They have only one option if they object to what I did. The same option well have when they break the treaty: to attack. To start the war.
He made it sound so inevitable. I shuddered.
Jake, it doesnt have to be that way.
His teeth ground together. It is that way.
The silence after his declaration felt very loud.
Will you never forgive me, Jacob? I whispered. As soon as I said the words, I wished I hadnt. I didnt want to hear his answer.
You wont be Bella anymore, he told me. My friend wont exist. Therell be no one to forgive.
That sounds like a no, I whispered.
We faced each other for an endless moment.
Is this goodbye then, Jake?
He blinked rapidly, his fierce expression melting in surprise. Why? We still have a few years. Cant we be friends until were out of time?
Years? No, Jake, not years. I shook my head, and laughed once without humor. Weeks is more accurate.
I was not expecting his reaction.
He was suddenly on his feet, and there was a loud pop as the soda can exploded in his hand. Soda flew everywhere, soaking me, like it was spraying from a hose.
Jake! I started to complain, but I fell silent when I realized that his whole body was quivering with anger. He glared at me wildly, a growling sound building in his chest.
I froze in place, too shocked to remember how to move.
The shaking rolled through him, getting faster, until it looked like he was vibrating. His shape blurred. . . .
And then Jacob gritted his teeth together, and the growling stopped. He squeezed his eyes tight in concentration; the quivering slowed until only his hands were shaking.