Shes as powerful as that? Bethany looked very interested.
I think so. This is someone who has had barely any instruction, whos uninitiated and who has never even thought about going through the Great Trial. Someone who grew up having no idea of her powers, her heritage.
Yet she shows such great promise?
She lights fires with her mind, I said, shrugging helplessly. No one taught her how to do that. She has an inherent knowledge of power chants and other quite complicated spells that would be very difficult for a well-educated witch to do. She scries with fire. And a few weeks ago, she shape-shifted.
Holy Mother, Bethany breathed. What did she shift into?
A wolf.
For a few minutes Bethany Malone and I sat looking at each other, drinking our wine.Goddess, Bethany said finally.
Yeah, I said wryly. It gets rather tense sometimes.
I see, she said. Tell me a bit about how you conduct your circles.
I went over our usual rites, our check-ins and meditation and energy-raising. Bethany listened attentively as I briefed her on the lessons I had led so far, about basic correspondences, purifying the circle, focusing skills. Kithic has had some ups and downs, I concluded. But in general the members are coming together in an interesting way, and Im committed to helping them as long as they want to continue and as long as Im in the States. It would be easy for them to get off track if they missed several circles.
Yes, Bethany agreed. She set down her empty glass. Im intrigued, Hunter. I want to meet Morgan. Im curious to meet these kids. Id be happy to take over your circles while youre gone.
Relief flooded my body. Instinctively I felt that Bethany would bring good energy to the group, and the fact that she was recommended by Alyce set my mind at ease. Brilliant, I said. Thanks very much. The circles meet every Saturday night at seven, but the location changes. This Saturday itll be at Jenna Ruizs houseIll give you directions.
I left half an hour later, a huge weight off my shoulders. Bethany was both strong and sensible; Kithic, and especially Morgan, would be safe in her hands.
What time is it there? I asked. I had called Sky when I got home but guessed I hadnt calculated the time difference correctly. Sky sounded sleepy and uncharitable.
Its. . I pictured her craning around for a clock. Its oh-dark-thirty, she finally said irritably. Whats up?
Sky and I had grown up together; though I had two siblings and she had four, we were the same age and had compatible temperaments. Though neither of us was much given to sappy emotional outbursts, we were as close as brother and sister, and we both knew it. Now I told her my news as briefly as possible, picturing her almond-shaped black eyes widening under her golden eyebrows.
Oh, Gìomanach, she breathed, lapsing into my coven name, the name she had called me through childhood. Oh, Goddess, I dont believe itafter all this time.
Yeah. I leave on Saturday. Its about an eleven-hour drive, I think.
I just cant believe it, Sky repeated. She paused. How about I catch a flight back and go with you?
I smiled with gratitude. Thanks, Sky, but Im all right going solo. Besides, youve done enoughId have never found them without you. Youre on holiday.
I paused, and changed the subject. Hows the mighty Cara? Skys sister Cara was living in Paris.
Sky gave an uncharacteristic giggle. Shes pretty much the same: beautiful, successful, extremely popular, blokes panting at the door, constant promotions at work, the usual.
Gross, I said. And of course shes still sweet and kind and impossible to hate?
Sky sighed. Yes, damn her. Shes been great. Im glad Im here. I still feel sodrained. Tired. Achy. I keep expecting to get the flu, but it hasnt come yet.
I waited, wondering if she would ask for news of Raven, but she didnt. Listen, I said, Ill call you from there and let you know whats happening. Who knows what Ill find? AnywayIll keep in touch.
Do, she said. I might be back in England, or maybe even America, by the time you get home. I dont know how much more fabulousness I can stand.
Paris or Cara?
Both.
We rang off, and I sat for a moment, hoping that being away was doing her good. I frowned, thinking about how she was still feeling run-down. Was it just a simple mental thing, caused by stress or unhappiness, or was she really sick?
I knew Morgans number by heart and braced myself to talk to one of her parents if they answered the phone. But it was Morgan who said, Hello, Hunter.
Morgans slightly husky voice sent shivers down my spine, and I realized I was gripping the phone a little tighter. You are pathetic, Niall, I told myself. Hi, I said. How are you?
Okay. Have you been getting ready for your trip?
Yes. Ive lined up a replacement circle leader. Her name is Bethany Malone. Alyce recommended her, and I went to see her tonight. She seems terrificI hope youll like her. I think shell be really good.
Hmmm. I guess I just like it best when you lead the circles.
Morgan wasnt being coy or trying to inflate my ego. She was naturally shy, and it took her a while to be comfortable with new people. Making magick with people is an intimate thing: its very hard to hold on to your barriers and defenses when youre connected by the energy. And Morgan wrote the book on defenses and barriers.
I know, I said. But Bethany is very learned, and its a good opportunity for you to work with someone new. You know Im not the best teacher for you. Because I want to ravish you.
She remained quiet, and I sensed that she was feeling conflicted about things.
HunterI know you have to go, she said finally. Its incredible that your folks are alive. You have to go see them. I know that. Its justIll miss you while youre gone.
Love, I said. Im going to miss you, too. I wish I knew when Ill be back. I mean, I might be back in three days, or it might take a week. . or longer.
Uh-huh, she said, sounding down.
Ill be thinking of you the whole time, I said. Ill try to call as often as I can. And Ill be so glad when Im back. Part of me felt almost guilty saying that. The truth was, I really had no idea what would happen. What if my parents no longer had to live in hiding? What if they could live openly and we could be a real family? Maybe they were planning to move back to England, to be near Beck and Shelagh. We would have actual family holiday celebrations, like for Ostara, coming up. Maybe next years Yule would be truly joyous, with all of us together at last.
And if they did return to England, where would that leave me? I can easily work in Englandplenty of witches are there. And I knew the council would be eager to send me out on another job soon. Nothing was holding me in Widows Vale except Morgan. What if I had to choose between being with my parents or being with Morgan? If I could be near my parents, see them, make magick with them, learn from them. . that would carry a lot of weight. And Morgan wouldnt be able to join me in England, not for at least a year and a half.
A lot can happen in a year and a half. A lot can happen in three months.
Ill be glad when you get back, too, Morgan said. I sensed her taking charge of herself, deliberately deciding to be stronger. But I know itll be wonderful for you to go. Her voice sounded much more brisk and matter-of-fact.
Thanks, I said softly, feeling the warmth of my love for her.
I cant believe I cant go with you, she said. But anywayI was thinking, if youre leaving early Saturday, maybe we could have dinner together tomorrow night, just the two of us. Unless you think youre going to be really busy getting ready.
Terrific idea. No, Ill make sure to get everything done before then. Dinner alone tomorrow sounds wonderful. Lets do it at my houseIll try to put something special together.
Great, she said, and I picked up on her waves of relief and anticipation.
Ill look forward to seeing you, love, I said.
Me too, she said, and we rang off.
3. Good-bye
I cant believe Hunter is leaving tomorrow. I feel a sense of dread when I think about his being gone. I tried to scry last night but really didnt pick up anything except images of woods. Frustrating.
Now, on the main thing. Ive read in Maeves Book of Shadows that blood witches can do spells to either get pregnant or not get pregnant. I went yesterday to Practical Magick and tried to find a spell, but I couldnt and was too embarrassed to ask Alyce. So this afternoon after school, I drove over to Norton, to the Planned Parenthood office there, and got a three-month supply of the Pill and a prescription to fill if I need to.
I parked down the street (so original) and crept up the block to the building, which of course had humongous letters on the side screaming Planned Parenthood! Catholic teenagers having premarital sex against their parents wishes, step right up! Goddess, by the time I got inside the building, I was shaking with mortification. If only I were Bree! Bree has her own gynecologist and suavely went on the Pill when she was fifteen. The whole thing only underlines how immature I am. Yet I do absolutely feel ready to go to bed with Hunter. I mean, Im dying to. Ive been wanting to, but things just havent worked out. But tonight is going to be the nightI feel it. I came hoe and took the first pill as instructed. Well need to use a condom, too, because the Pill doesnt kick in for a month and even though I trust Hunter, Id rather be safe that sorry.
I cant believe I thought about doing it with Cal. I still feel incredibly sad when I think about himsad that hes dead, that Selene destroyed his life, that I had anything to do with it. What I feel for Hunter is so different than what I felt for Cal. I love Hunter truly and deeply, I trust ad admire and respect him. I feel sure that he loves me, that he will take care of me and doesnt just want to remake me into what he thinks would be a perfect girlfriend. I feel comfortable with him. I feel safe. I trust him.
And physically, oh, Goddess, he makes me crazy. So tonights the night. Tonight Im going to quit being a kid, a little girl. By tomorrow morning, Ill be a woman.
Morgan
By Friday evening I was tightly wound. Everything was weighing on my mind: Should I stop the mail or ask a neighbor to gather it? Would my car make it to Canada? Did I have enough money? Thoughts consumed me as I surveyed the table I had set. I looked at it suspiciously, certain Id forgotten something. Something for the trip, something for dinner? I couldnt think. Shaking my head, I tugged at the tablecloth and leaned over to light the candles. Dinner was basically done and waiting in the kitchen. I like to cook. I frowned: had I ever seen Morgan be picky about food? I couldnt remembermy brain was fried. In general, she has an appalling diet. For example, she considers Diet Coke to be an appropriate breakfast food. And she eats these thin, horrible pastries with a teaspoon of jam in the middle and frosting on top. Pop-Tarts. Goddess, it makes me ill just to think about it.
The doorbell rang, and I jumped about a foot in the air I hadnt felt her coming up the walk. Automatically I pushed my hand through my hair, then remembered too late that always makes it stand up in a stupid way. Goddess, help me.
I opened the door, my heart already thudding. It was dark out, of course, and Morgan stood framed in our weak porch light, her brown eyes huge.
Hi, I said, feeling awash in love for her. Come on in.
She came in wordlessly and took off her coat. Hmmm she was wearing some long skirtlike thing that swept the top of her clogs. Usually she wears jeans, so she had made a special effort for tonight, and I felt oddly pleased in an old-fashioned, male-chauvinist-pig kind of way. Her clingy brown sweater showed off her broad shoulders and her arms, which I knew were strong and toned. Once again the knowledge that she never wears a bra popped into my fevered brain, and I felt my knees start to go wonky. Her skin, and the curve of her waist, and the way she responded when IHunter? she said, watching my face.
Ah, yes, I said, snapping my mind out of the gutter. Right. Hi, love. I put my hand on her back and leaned down to kiss her. She kissed me back, her lips gentle on mine, and I was struck by how alive she felt, how vibrant.
Are you hungry? I asked when we pulled apart.
She smiled, her eyes lighting up, and I laughed. What am I saying? Youre always hungry.
Half an hour later I was pleased by the fact that Morgan wasnt picky about food. While I wasnt sure if she knew the difference between bad food (instant tarts and diet soda) and good food (the linguine I had made for dinner), still, the fact that she ate everything and seemed to enjoy it was heartening.
How did you learn to cook? she asked, taking another thin slice of bruschetta.
Self-defense. My aunt Shelagh was pretty uninspired. I couldnt blame hershe had years of cooking for twelve people at every meal before she caught on and started making the oldest kids help out.
Morgan laughed, and I felt the same kind of inner glow that came over me when I had worked a particularly nice bit of magick. I loved her. I didnt want to leave her. I wanted her to be packed, to be ready to get in my car tomorrow morning and drive off with me. Like her, I was frustrated by the fact that she was only seventeen.
I brought dessert, she said, going into the parlor. She returned with a white pastry box and opened it at the table.
Voilà. Two éclairs.
Brilliant, I said, reaching for one. Witches and sweets seem to go together. I know that after spell-working, I tend to fall upon whatever sweet carbohydrate there is. Even Aunt Shelagh, during her macrobiotic period, had been observed wolfing down a brownie after a Lammastide rite.
As I fixed a pot of tea, I began to realize that Morgan was coiled almost as tightly as I was. I knew she was upset about my leaving tomorrow. I was both upset and incredibly excited. Part of me was aching to go jump in the car right now and set off, every minute bringing me closer to my long-lost parents. I tried as unobtrusively as possible to feel her aura. Regular people cant feel someone do this; even a lot of witches would be pretty unaware of it. Id had a lot of training in feeling auras as a Seeker. It was literally my job to know people, to be able to detect nuances about their behavior, their energy.