Not today. In fact, I have never seen Mr. Ceepak smile so much. And his teeth aren’t the color of brown deli mustard anymore, either.
“You and Boyle here saved my life, Johnny. I’ll never forget that. Cross my heart and hope to spit.”
“Please forgive me, sir, if I doubt your sincerity.”
“Hey, I don’t blame you, Johnny. Goodness, I’d doubt it, too. The way I’ve behaved? Despicable. Heck, I wasn’t much of a dad-to you or Billy. But trust me, Johnny, a man can change. What did Jesus say? ‘There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.’ Well, let me tell you, boys: right now Jesus and his friends are having one heck of a hosanna hollerin’ hootenanny up there in heaven. Come on, son. Rejoice with Jesus. What once was lost now is found.”
“How goes the family reunion?” Manager Bob has ambled over to join us. He’s doing that smile and heel-rocking thing again.
“Peachy,” I say, so Ceepak doesn’t have to speak.
“Apparently,” says Ceepak, sounding extremely skeptical, “my father is a new man.”
“That I am, Johnny boy. Be sure to tell your mother. Hey, maybe the three of us can get together for dinner some night soon. You can come too, Boyle. My treat.”
“That, sir,” says Ceepak, “is never going to happen.”
His father keeps grinning like an idiot. “How’s Adele doing? I bet she misses me.”
“No, sir. She does not.”
“I read about her in the newspaper this morning. They’re calling her Sea Haven’s newest Guardian Angel.”
“Is that your mom?” says Bob. “The one who hired a lawyer to defend that cute nurse who doesn’t have a pot to piss in? Awesome!”
“Adele’s my wife …”
Ceepak holds up his very strong right hand to signal his father to stop right there. “Ex-wife …”
“Okay. Sure. Say, this gal, Christine Lemondrops, the one your mom bailed out, she a friend of yours, Johnny?” He asks it with just a hint of his old lechery.
“She’s our friend,” I say. “And her last name is Lemonopolous.”
“Good. That’s nice, Boyle. You need a gal pal. Johnny here is already hitched and settled down. Speaking of which, when can you and the missus swing by the motel to say hey?”
“How about never, sir?” says Ceepak. “Will never work?”
“Ouch,” says Bob, with a goofy giggle.
But Mr. Ceepak keeps on smiling like those brainwashed people in cults, right before they chug a jug of the Kool Ade.
“Careful, Johnny,” he says. “‘Judge not, that ye be not judged.’ Matthew. Chapter seven. Verse one.”