Judith Rosen? She’s fuming.
“The remainder of his estate,” says the lawyer, “which, given current market positions, land values, and comparable real estate sales in Cedar Knoll Heights, our accountants conservatively estimate at two point two million dollars, Dr. Rosen leaves to David and Judith Rosen in trust for his quote living legacy end quote Arnold David Rosen.”
Little Arnie. The smiling blonde kid in all the photographs is an instant millionaire. Unless, of course, his parents blow it all on guitar lessons, Bart Simpson watches, and liposuction before he hits twenty-one.
This is why Judith wasn’t pleased when Christine and Monae scored their fifty thousand dollars each. That little mitzvah cost her family one hundred thousand dollars. Still, two point one million dollars is nothing to sneeze at. It’s better than beer and pretzels rich. It’s practically Adele Ceepak rich.
“This isn’t fair,” protests Michael, his voice trembling.
“Really?” says the lawyer. “I’m surprised to hear you say that, Michael. Surely you can’t begrudge your nephew his inheritance. You earn nearly that much in two weeks.”
“This isn’t about money.” Michael says with a laugh even though I can tell he is spitting mad. “This is about fairness. This is about family.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“My partner Andrew and I recently adopted a child. An African-American boy we named Kyle.”
“Was your father aware of this?”
“I told him Friday night. At dinner.”
“That was his ‘big announcement,’” says David.
Judith sniggers.
Michael? He looks like he could weep. Or explode. Maybe both.
“I’m so sorry, Michael,” says the lawyer. “Perhaps, had he lived longer, your father would’ve once more amended his last will and testament to include your son as well.”
“No,” says David. “He wouldn’t have. We talked about it at dinner on Friday night. Dad thought Michael and his ‘partner’ pretending that they were parents was stupid. Dad didn’t believe in adoption. He believed in bloodlines. And legitimate heirs.”
“Dad was all about real family,” adds Judith. “When you adopt you’re not extending the family tree, you’re simply taking on somebody else’s problems.”
“You, Judith,” says Michael, sounding completely heartbroken, “are a fat, repulsive bitch.”
Yowser.
“Watch your mouth, little brother,” snaps David. “That’s my wife you’re talking about.”
“I know who and what she is-a hideous and heartless cow.”
“Gentlemen?” says the lawyer, banging the table with his fist like it’s a gavel.