Where is he? I asked.
In the cave. Just go straightyoull find him.
We were three-quarters of the way up a mountain that I hadnt even realized was nearby. Its top was enshrouded in mist, as was the rocky shoreline below, and I could see the great yawning mouth of a cave closer than I would have liked. I waited for the familiar panic to set in. Im claustrophobic when it comes to caves, I finally admitted, glancing nervously at the rough-hewn entrance, worn smooth by centuries of scouring winds. In fact, I didnt like heights, closed-in places, places that were too opengive me a phobia and I embraced it enthusiastically.
Not anymore, Sammael said in a colorless voice. You should watch what you say. Youll be lucky if the Council simply decides to grant you the Grace.
The Grace? That sounded almost pleasant.
Your memory would be wiped clean. I promise you, it wouldnt hurt, and youd be perfectly happy. Youd be able to do simple tasks, perhaps even learn to read and write a few simple words.
I stared at him in absolute horror. No, I said flatly.
It wont be your choice. He seemed unmoved by my reaction. Do you want me to take you to Raziel?
I can manage, I said, not sure that I could, but I really didnt want to hear any more of Sammaels awful possibilities. The inhabitants of Sheol seemed to have mixed feelings about me. Azazel, Sammael, and Raziel clearly thought I didnt belong, and I was happy to agree with them. Tamlel, Sarah,
and the Stepford wives were welcoming, but that would probably mean nothing once they held their council meeting. But I thank you for the offer. I think I need to figure out how to get what I need on my own, dont I?
He barely registered my question. Ill come back if theres a problem.
How will you know? I asked suspiciously. Raziel had been able to read my mindif it turned out the whole place knew what I was thinking, then maybe I wouldnt mind getting a lobotomy.
Sarah will know. Sarah will tell me, he said simply, as if he expected me to know something so basic.
Clearly Sarah was a force to be reckoned with. It was a good thing that she seemed to be on my side. Ill be fine, I said firmly, and before I could add to it, Sammael had disappeared into the wind.
Well, damn, I said out loud. Id been hoping to see wings. If Sammael came equipped with them, I hadnt had time to notice. Which made travel convenient, but still a little bit puzzling.
I turned to look at the cave, waiting for the icy fear to set in, but I felt nothing but an entirely reasonable nervousness at the thought of bearding Raziel in his den. Sammael had told the truththe claustrophobia had vanished. Whoopee, I thought with a suitable lack of enthusiasm, walking forward.
I still wasnt crazy about enclosed spaces. The wide corridor into the mountain looked as if it had been a mine shaft, if they had mine shafts in the afterlife. It narrowed a little too swiftly as I made my way down it. Normally Id be curled up on the ground, covered with a cold sweat. The fact that I could keep moving, deeper and deeper into the mountain, was more proof of how different things were. A proof I could easily have done without.
I wasnt quite sure what I expected. The corridor took a couple of sharp turns, shutting out the daylight at the entrance, but I managed to keep going without stopping to hyperventilate. Where the hell was Raziel? I had the sudden fear that Sammael had pulled a Hansel and Gretel on me, luring me to this mountain to abandon me, thereby getting rid of a messy problem. Sarah wouldnt let him get away with that, would she?
Id almost given up trying to find him when I turned one last corner and saw him sitting on a wooden chair in the middle of a huge stone cavern, his eyes closed.
I had planned to be a smart-ass and say something like Yoo-hoo, imaginary creature, Im here, but I thought better of it. He was sitting at the edge of a great yawning hole in the center of the cave, and it looked like some of the walls had collapsed inward. He was at the very edge, too close for comfort, and as I looked he seemed to sway toward the opening.
I tried to stifle my instinctive scream, but he heard me anyway and jerked, startled. He fell backward, away from the pit, and the chair went over. I could hear it splintering against the stone walls as it fell, and I shivered. He rose, focusing on me, and I tried for a cheerful smile.
As I expected, he wasnt the least bit pleased to see me. How did you get here? he demanded, not moving any closer.
Sammael, I said.
He grunted. Youre wearing my clothes. Its better than all that white, I said. Were you frightened by an albino when you were a child? I was never a child.
Another of his flat, incontrovertible statements. At least he was talking to me. You mean you were born this way?
I wasnt born. He stayed where he was, on the edge of the pit, and it made me nervous. Though I supposed if he fell, he could probably fly out of there, couldnt he? Why are you here? I told Tam and Sammael to keep you busy. This is no place for you.