We talked. We just didnt get around to the whole . . . blood thing.
Oh, Sarah said after a moment. Well, I dont suppose it mattersit may not affect you one way or another. Unless it makes a great difference to you, theres really no reason for us to talk about it.
It did. Everything about Raziel made a great deal of difference to me, but admitting that only made things worse. No reason at all, I said brightly.
I looked past her toward the bank of windows overlooking the fog-shrouded Pacific Ocean. At least, I assumed it was the Pacificfor all I knew, we could be on Mars. The windows been left open, and a strong breeze tossed the sheer white curtains into the air, sending a little shiver of some unnamed emotion down my backbone. Is everything white in this place? I demanded, feeling cranky. Being dead would do that to a girl.
For a moment I thought I saw something just beyond the windowsthe breathless shimmer of iridescent blue wings, the sun sparkling off them. I narrowed my gaze, but there was nothing out there, just a few seagulls in the distance, wheeling and cawing. No seagulls on Mars, I thought.
Sarah looked around as if noticing for the first time. I suppose so. Raziel tends to see things as either black or whitenever shades of gray. Hed probably really hate it if you painted anything. She grinned, suddenly looking mischievous. Just let me know if you want some help.
The idea was irresistible, and I laughed. Do you want to make his life a living hell?
No, dear. Thats going to be your job.
Another odd fluttering. I rose and crossed the living room to peer out into the bright sky, the rolling mist on the ocean. There was nothing in the sky but the seagullsI must be imagining things.
Or was I? I was stuck in the sterile aerie of a creature who could flywhy would I assume that mysterious dark wings were a figment of my imagination?
I turned my back on the windows. If Raziel was out there buzzing the building in an effort to spook me, I wasnt going to let him. Though the sight of him dive-bombing the place would have been pretty damned funny.
Actually, I wanted to talk to you before Sammael gets here. Apart from welcoming you to Sheol, Sarah said, I wanted to warn you about Raziel.
Oh, great. As if things werent bad enough, now I needed to be warned about
the only man I slightly, somewhat, minimally trusted. Hes an ax murderer? I suggested cheerfully.
Sarahs responding smile was a token. Dont be fooled by his kindness. Raziel has shut himself off from all human feeling, from caring about anyone besides the Fallen and their wives. I will speak for you at the meeting today, but if youre relying on Raziel to protect you, youre wasting your time.
I was still trying to reconcile the term kindness with the bad-tempered Raziel Id been saddled with. Though more likely Raziel would consider hed been saddled with me .
Ohtheres a meeting? I said, feeling doomed. I suppose theyre going to decide whether I live or die, and Im not going to have any voice in the matter. Of course, Im dead already, so I guess it doesnt really matter. I just dont feel like Im dead. And I really dont want to go back to that place. I shivered. I couldnt remember much, just heat and noise and the pain of thousands of souls reaching out. . . .
Ill speak for you. Ill do anything I can to stop them. Right now theyre more worried about the Nephilim and whether Uriel will use your presence as an excuse to move against us. I just dont want you to count on Raziel. Hes sworn off caring about anyone, and Im afraid hes not going to make an exception for you. She tilted her head sideways, assessing me. At least, I dont think so. But Ill fight for you. And sometimes they listen.
And if that didnt sound like a rock-solid guarantee, I figured it was the best I could expect. If I was going to get out of this mess, Id have to figure it out on my own.
Sammael appeared at the door just as Sarah was leaving, and he didnt look any happier to see me than he had before.
Are you ready? he asked politely.
I suddenly remembered all those flights of stairs, and groaned. Once a day was enough. I dont suppose you have an elevator hidden anywhere around here?
No. Sammael moved past me to push open a section of the windows that I had blithely assumed was solid wall. The wind was rising, swirling into the apartment, but in Raziels sterile environment there was nothing loose that could be blown away. Come with mewell take the shortcut.
I looked from Sammaels calm face to the wind and ocean just beyond those doors to nowhere. He was an angel, wasnt he? Albeit Sarah had said he was one of the angels of death. He wasnt going to toss me out the window, was he?
You can only die once, I thought, not knowing whether it was true or not. Taking Sammaels hand, I stepped out into a nothingness that was blindingly bright.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
IT SEEMED AS IF A MOMENT HAD passed, or an hour. I found myself standing on a cliff, much higher up than the house had been, and Id never been crazy about heights. I could see out over the vast ocean, and the sun beginning to sink lower on the horizon. Pacific Ocean, then. The ground was wet beneath my feet, and there was no sign of my missing mentor. I glanced at Sammael. I couldnt remember holding on to him, soaring through those misty skies. But clearly I hadnt walked.