The Renaissance had been one of my favorite periods. Id enjoyed myself tremendouslythe art, the music, the creativity that seemed to wash over everyone.
And the women. Full and lush and beautiful. Id sampled a great many of them before I made the mistake of falling in love with one, only to lose her. I would have had no choice but to watch my beloved Rafaela age; back then, foolishly, I would have welcomed the chance. But shed run from me, certain I wouldnt want her when she looked decades older than I did. She died before I found her again.
Too many women, too many losses, each bit of pain a boon to my enemy, Uriel. I wouldnt go through that again.
If Allie Watson was going to stayand right now I couldnt think of any other optionthen she would have to learn to manage all those stairs. Sheol wasnt set up for guests, and for now she was my responsibility. I couldnt afford to coddle her.
The tangy salt breeze from the ocean rumpled my hair, and I remembered that humans were more susceptible to the cold. I pulled the sheet up over her probably a good idea anyway.
And then
I lay down beside her. It was a big bed, and she wasnt going to shift in her sleep, migrate over to my side. Shed lie perfectly still until that particular Grace wore off. As long as my dreams didnt move me toward her, Id be safe.
And even if they did, Id wake up long before I could do anything about it.
I hoped the Grace would last the full twenty-four hoursI needed as much time as possible to deal with the situation. Not that shed consider this particular comatose sleep a Grace, but that was the all-encompassing term for any of the extraordinary things we were capable of doing. The Grace of deep sleep was one of the least harmful. The Grace to cloud the minds of humans could have much more long-lasting consequences.
I stretched out, closing my eyes. She should smell of the flowered soap the women here used in the baths. She should smell like all the other women, but she didnt. She had her own sweet, erotic scent underlying the flowers, something that made her subtly different. Something that kept me awake as my exhausted mind conjured all sorts of sexual possibilities.
I glanced over at her comatose figure. She looked younger, prettier, when she was asleep. Sweeter, when I knew she was anything but. She was a time bomb, nothing but trouble, yet somehow Id gotten tied up with her.
I propped myself up on one elbow, looking down at her. Could I take my breath back from her, loosening the hold she seemed to have over me?
I moved my mouth over hers, not quite touching, and sucked her soft breath into my lungs. And then I bridged the small distance and rested my open mouth against her lips, caught by the sudden urge to taste her.
I sank back on the bed, cursing my own stupidity. Id felt myself inside her, felt my breath in her body, the inescapable connection. In trying to take it back from her, Id simply brought her into my body, completing the circle. I could feel her breath inside me now, curling in my lungs, spreading out into the blood that coursed through me.
I threw one arm over my eyes. Uriel would be laughing now. As if things werent bad enough, Id just made them quantitatively worse.
I couldnt think straight right now. Tomorrow Id talk with some of the others. Not everyone was as cold and practical as Azazel. Michael, Sammael, Tamlel, would look at things with more flexibility. Thered be someplace to send her, where shed be safe and I wouldnt have to think about her. Sooner or later new breath would replace hers in my body, and the connection would be broken. Wouldnt it?
I groaned, a soft sound, though if Id screamed she would still have slept on.
It was going to be a long fucking night.
CHAPTER NINE
AZAZEL SAT IN THE GREAT HALL, alone in the dark. None of the Fallen knew the burden he carried. He could feel all of themtheir needs, their pain, their doubts. Their secrets.
It was better that they didnt know. He wouldnt put it past some of them, Raziel in particular, to figure out a way to shield or control their thoughts, and that would put him at a disadvantage the Fallen couldnt afford. It was simply something he had to endure, a physical pain that he bore with no outward sign.
Only Sarah knew. Sarah, the Source to his Alpha, the calm voice of wisdom, the only one with whom he could ever simply let go. The only one.
The centuries, the millennia, since they had fallen faded into the mists of time. The number of wives hed had faded as well, but he remembered every face, every name, no matter how short a time she had spent in his endless life. There was Xanthe, with the laughing eyes and ankle-length hair, whod died when she was forty-three. Arabella, whod lived until she was ninety-seven. Rachel, who died two days after theyd bonded.
He had loved them all, but none so much as he loved his Sarah, his heart, his beloved. She was waiting for him, calm and unquestioning, knowing what he needed. She always did.
Because of all the things he needed, he needed her the most.