But she had stayed. And then, when she thought the Fallen were drowning me, shed raced into the water to try to save me. I still couldnt understand why.
She would have drowned if I hadnt breathed into her, filling her with . . . That knowledge was making me uneasy, unhappy. Aroused that she held my breath inside her body. The feeling was erotic, explicit, and powerful. She held my breath, my very essence, as intense a bond as if she held my semen, my blood. I was inside her, and in return a part of her claimed me, owned me. I was irrevocably tied to her, and I hated it. I was hard just thinking about it, and obsessed by it, and I had to break her hold.
I should have insisted on waiting for the renewal ceremony until after shed been dealt with. In my depleted state, I would have been impervious to the allure of a human female.
Not just any human female. Even at my most vulnerable moments, Id been able to resist the most beautiful, sexual women Id been chosen to escort.
Unfortunately, I wasnt feeling at all resistant to the current albatross around my neck. I was feeling . . . lustful.
This wasnt normal. Why her, why now? Things were already in a mess, and Id vowed not to risk bonding with a woman again.
Which meant my only sex was with myself, a quick, soulless release that kept me from exploding in rage and frustration. Or with some anonymous human looking for a night of pleasure. A night I made sure she never remembered.
Neither did
I.
Every woman in our hidden kingdom was mated, bonded to one of us. There were no offspring to grow up and carry on the tradition. The only way a woman entered Sheol was as a bonded mate, so I was shit out of luck if I wanted someone new, which must please Uriel. Anything that caused pain and discomfort to the Fallen brought Uriel . . . satisfaction. I was fairly certain he was incapable of feeling joy.
But right now I was too tired, too edgy, to come up with any possible solution to the problem of Allie Watson.
I couldnt even leave her for the night. By putting her to sleep, Id claimed a certain responsibility for her, at least until she woke up, anywhere from six to twenty-four hours from now. Even if her sleep had been normal, I couldnt leave her alone up here, not until Id extracted a promise of good behavior on her part. I couldnt risk her running off againthe sea might take her, or if she managed to find the borders of our kingdom, the Nephilim would be waiting.
There was only one bed, and I was damned if I was going to give it to her. She would likely sleep at least eight hours. Shed slid farther, so that she was lying on the floor half beneath the coffee table, her head on the thick white carpet. Shed be fine where she was.
I drained my wine and headed toward the bedroom. I pushed open the row of windows that fronted the sea and took a deep, calming breath of air. Even in the dead of winter with snow swirling down, I kept the windows open. We were impervious to coldthe heat of our bodies automatically adjusted. The sound of the ocean waves was soothing, and the cool night air reminded me that I was alive. I needed that reminder of the simple things that made up my life.
I stripped off my clothes and slid beneath the cool silk sheets. My arm still throbbed where the poison had entered, but the rest of me had healed properly, thanks to the salt water and Sarahs blood. My arm and my cock throbbedand both were Allie Watsons fault.
I closed my eyes, determined to fall asleep.
I couldnt. I kept picturing her on the floor, dead to the world. Shed had a rough couple of days as well. I knew shed curled up next to me on the hard ground the night beforeId been dimly aware of it through the haze of pain, and Id been comforted.
After an hour I gave up, climbing out of the bed Id longed for and heading for the door. At the last minute I paused and pulled on a pair of jeans. Nudity wasnt something that meant much in Sheol, and I didnt care about preserving her modesty. It was my own temptation I was trying to avoid. Even silk boxers or pajama pants were too thin, too easy to slip out of. These jeans had buttons, not a zipper, and it would take a major effort to get them off. Give me time enough to think twice about making such a foolish move.
I pushed the door open and walked back into the living room. It was lit only by the fitful moonlight reflected off the sea, and she was just a huddled shape in the shadows. I went over and scooped her up in my arms. She was heavier than some, though not enough to noticeher weight was no more trouble than carrying a loaf of bread would be for a human. I carried her into the bedroom and carefully set her down on the bed.
She needed to build up her staminashe hadnt been able to run very far, and shed been breathless after only three flights of stairs. She was a pampered city girl, not used to actually moving.
She had a beautiful body. Her breasts were full, enticing, and her hips flared out from a well-defined waist. By current standards, shed be considered maybe ten to fifteen pounds overweight. By the tastes of the Renaissance, shed be considered scrawny.