One day Bethany the nightmares will not plague you, the hurt will not be all encompassing, and you will be able to breathe again. It does get better, I can promise you that much.
I nodded; he was the first person that had told me this that I actually believed. I put faith in his words because he knew , he understood more than anyone else could how I felt. And over time, through the therapy my mom forced me into, and because of the enduring love of my family, friends, and my own growing understanding of the world and myself, things had gotten better. Just as he had promised they would. But back then, his promise was the only thing I had to count on in those early hours, days, and weeks. The only thing I had to cling to in order to keep some grip on the world surrounding me, in order to keep on breathing.
Bethany! my mom called again, impatience and worry evident in her voice.
I have to go. He nodded, pulled me close to him and kissing me ever so softly again but this time on the mouth. I stared at him in awe, my lips trembling as I was jolted by the impact of his warm lips upon mine. I had just received my first kiss, and it had been so wonderfully sweet and uplifting. It had been everything I had ever dreamed it would be, even on that hideously dark night. Goodnight Cade.
He managed a small smile; his dark eyes gleamed in the rising moonlight as he released me. My legs were shaking from his lingering effect upon me as I made my way out from under the tree. Goodbye Bethany, I thought I heard him whisper.
When I glanced back I could just barely make him out upon the bench, watching me as I walked to the house. Over the next few weeks I kept expecting him to reappear, I would even go to the garden and wait for him, but he never did. I would see him in school, but I was too shy to approach him after being rebuked before, and he did not approach me. Then, as time slipped by, and the normal routine of life once again took hold, I stopped waiting for him to reappear, and eventually
forgot about that night.
Until now.
And now I was swarmed by the memory, the feelings, the emotions, the loss, and the peace that he had given me on that long ago night. And I was once again crying.
CHAPTER 5
Its ok Bethany. I heard him whisper through the haze of shock, memories, and sorrow assaulting me. Its ok to cry.
Those hauntingly familiar words wrenched a soft sob from me. I bowed my head before him as he gently caressed my cheeks. I think he knew where my mind had gone, what memories haunted me now. You didnt come back after that night. You didnt come back then .
He sighed softly, his forehead resting against mine as his hands pressed tighter to my cheeks. I couldnt. I understood. My fresh agony that night had reopened his barely healed wounds. That night he had come to offer me what comfort he could, but he had been unable to handle giving me anymore. It had been too hard for him. This time, no matter what, I will come back for you Bethany, I promise. I will always come back for you. But you must stay here, with your sister, with your mother.
I wanted to argue with him, wanted to fight his decision, but I couldnt. He pressed something into my hand and closed my fingers gently around it. I locked the store when we left. If Im not back in three hours you and Abby are going to have to get your mother back to that room. Bring enough supplies for a week. Yes Bethany, you must do this. He emphasized in response to my rapid head shaking.
I cant. That room.
He lifted my face and took a step closer to me. Its the safest place for now. You need to find something to help you get your mother over there, and you will be ok in that room. Its not that car Bethany.
I recoiled from his words, shrinking before him as he struck straight at the heart of the matter. I tried to pull my face free of his grasp, angered and wounded by his words, but he refused to release me. If they find us we will be trapped in there, cornered like rats. I managed to stammer in my defense.
They wont find you.
You cant know that! I retorted sharply, struggling to hide my hurt behind my anger.
No, he said softly. I cant know that, but it is the safest place for all of you right now. I will meet you there if I cant get back here in time.
Cade...
He kissed me again, silencing my protest with his lips. I sighed against him, letting go of my hurt and anger as relief and pleasure swamped me. This was wonderful, he was wonderful, and I never wanted it to end. But it had to. I didnt know what any of this meant, but I did know that I couldnt keep him here. This time I was the one that pulled away. I rested my hands over his strong ones, squeezing them tight before moving away. He had to go; I knew that, he knew that. What neither of us knew was what was going to happen if he did return, or if he didnt. But he had to leave now, before I couldnt let him.
I will come back Bethany, he vowed
I nodded, managing a weak smile. I watched him move silently out of the room, disappearing swiftly from sight. My heart went with him. Abby moved into the doorway, her dark eyes wide and stunned as she gazed at me. Well one things for sure, she said after a long moment of silence.