If they are with Laadan, then I trust them. Clear it with Marcus, though.
I like Marcus. Alex stood and drifted over to me.
Deacon arched a brow. Now, thats odd
Deacon, I warned.
Alex smiled up at me, holding a bishop in her hand. Checkmate?
He chortled. Good gods, shes like Rain Man.
Anger whipped through me so fast I saw red, and then Alex frowned. Is this Rain Man a good thing? she asked.
Taking a step toward my idiot brother, I exploded. Get the hell out of here before I strangle you within an inch of your life.
Eyes wide, Deacons hands flew up. Whoa, I was just kidding. I mean, come on, shes pretty random now.
Rage swept through me. He was my brother. I loved him, but dammit, he never thought before he spoke. Voice low, I said, Do you even know how insulting that is to Alex?
He blinked, his cheeks flushing. I wasnt thinking
No shit.
I didnt mean anything by it, Aiden. Im sorry. His gaze went behind me and he frowned. I really am.
Taking a deep breath, I let the red-hot anger slip off my brittle skin. I know. Its just that There was no need to finish. Deacon knew. I didnt mean to yell at you. Just let Marcus know about Laadan and Olivia. Okay?
Deacon looked like he wanted to say more, but wisely nodded and backed out of the room.
Sighing, I turned around. Alex
The spot shed stood in was empty. Dammit. I shouldve known better. Yelling and threatening to choke the ever-loving crap out of Deacon in front of her hadnt been wise. I kept forgetting that this wasnt Alex.
This was a frightened girl.
My eyes scanned the room, stopping on the linen closet door. It was ajar, revealing a thin strip of darkness. She wouldnt
To think of Alexmy strong, beautiful and resilient Alexhiding in a closet killed me. For a heartbeat, I couldnt move or breathe. Id done this to hergiven her the Elixir, changed her into something that ran when voices were raised. And I wanted to blame Seth for his influence, the bond hed forged with her thatd led us to this choice, but Id been the one whod forced the Elixir down her throat.
There wasnt forgiveness for me.
Stamping down the whirling mix of grief and rage, I made my way to the closet and slowly opened the double doors.
It was a deep closet, with several shelves on the top stocked with quilts. A few garment bags hung from a rail. My gaze dropped. Five tiny toes peeked out from behind a bag.
I closed my eyes and swore under my breath, and then I eased the bags apart. Alexs foot jerked back, and I could hear her moving deeper into the recesses. Kneeling down, I found her pressed against the wall, knees tucked against her chest and eyes wide.
Oh, Alex.
She watched me warily. My name is Alexandria.
And just like that, all those days of drawing her out of the Elixir-induced shell were lost.
Okay. I sat down cross-legged and dragged my fingers through my hair, debating on how to proceed with this. Deacon used to get nightmares when he was a kid. He hadnt hidden in the closet, but he had screamed like a furie. I used to read to him. Somehow I doubted that would work now. Are you all right?
A moment passed. I do not like yelling.
I know. Im sorry. And I was. But I would never hurt Deacon. Hes my brother.
Confusion flickered over her face. You said you were going to strangle him.
I really wanted to strangle him now. I didnt mean it. Sometimes we say things we dont mean when were upset.
She appeared to consider that. When you yelled, I saw something.
What? I inched forward, careful not to startle her. What did you see?
Opening her hands, she stared down at them. The bishop was in her hand, leaving behind angry red marks from how tightly shed been holding it. Bloodthere was blood on my hands, but it was not there. Not really.
I had no idea what she meant by that, but Id moved to her side while shed been talking, and she hadnt seemed to notice. I sat next to her, stretching out my legs in the cramped space. My shoulder brushed hers, and her eyes shot to my face, questioning and indecisive but not scared.
Is there still blood on your hands now?
Alex shook her head. I heard something, too. It was a voice, she continued softly. It was important.
My stomach sank. I didnt like where this was going, what it would lead to. If she was starting to remember things, it meant shed need another dose, another compulsion. And Id just given the last dose two days ago. I sighed. What is it?
Her fingers twisted along the edges of the bishop. Youll kill the ones you love. She lifted her gaze. Tears glistened in her eyes. Have I?
Alex There werent words for this. Her lower lip started to tremble, and my heart squeezed. My mind was made up. No. Youve never killed anyone.
She blinked and her voice was just a hushed whisper. I havent?
No, agapi mou , you havent.
Wiping under her eyes with her sleeves, she sighed. Pain brimmed underneath the surface, as did confusion. I dream that I have, over and over again.
I smiled for her even as I felt my chest constricting. Theyre just dreams. Thats all.