But with each passing day, a little of her old self shone through while we were alone. Her typical sharp tongue was still absent, much to my dismay. Who couldve known how badly Id miss her smartass responses? She did smile more often and even though she rarely left my side, she didnt freak out too badly when Lea and Luke popped in on us one day. They were good with Alex, if not a little shocked by how different she was. They didnt stay too long.
I think it scared themseeing how very real the Elixir was, what it could do to them. How it stripped Alex down to nothing more than a shell. I caught Lea staring at her once, and it was clear what she was thinking. This could be me . She was seeing herself in Alexs dull, shattered eyes.
By the third day, the headaches started, and each time she looked at me and mentioned the pain, I wanted to break each of Seths ribs individually.
A sort of routine developed between us while we waited for Apollo to show, hopefully with good news. We spent the day together and at night she eventually made her way over to the couch. Admittedly it was my favorite part of the day. The bed was still off-limits. There was an intimacy to that, one I desired and had a hell of a time refusing, but with her like this, it wouldve crossed the line.
Alex pulled out the chessboard and placed it on the coffee table while I watched her. Gods, I loved just watching her. Sounded creepy as hell, I know, but my eyes just sought her out. There was a gracefulness about her that shed retained, even after three doses.
Play? She plopped down on the floor on the other side of the coffee table.
Id been teaching her how to play chess. When I nodded and moved to sit on the floor, she grabbed one of the pawns and placed it in the row closest to her.
Teaching her how to play wasnt really going well.
When she looked away, I reached over, replacing the pawn with a knight. Clasping her hands under her chin, she listened while I went over the rules again. Once I was finished, she went first, moving a pawn forward one space.
I tried picturing playing chess with Alex in a different time, like a month ago. Imagining her sitting still long enough and having the patience for a game like chess was impossible. Knowing her, shed have thrown a chess piece by now. I laughed.
Alexs chin jerked up and she grinned. What?
Nothing, I told her.
Still smiling, she crawled over and sat beside me, then reached across the board, moving another pawn right into position to be taken by mine. I laughed again. You cant sit next to me and play chess, agapi
Her shoulders lifted. I like sitting beside you.
And I liked it, too. I moved a pawn forward, not taking hers.
I like when you laugh,
too. She placed a finger to her lips, her brows furrowing as she studied the board. I think I just like you.
My mouth opened but nothing came out.
Sometimes I feel I feel like I should be doing more, she picked up a rook, than this. With my life. She placed it back and looked up, searching my face. With you, too.
I knew I needed to say something, but there was too much I wanted to say.
She scooted closer and rested her head on my shoulder. A heartbeat passed. I have these memories. They are like dreams. Some are really good and others are dark and red. She rubbed her cheek against my shoulder. I know there is more to all of this.
There is, I whispered, watching her lashes fan her cheeks, her lips part.
I like this. I like when you hold me at night. That feels right real. She paused, lashes lifting. Thank you.
Youre welcome. My voice sounded, felt heavy.
Alex raised her head, lips puckered. I have a feeling you do not say that often.
My breath caught. A ball of emotion formed in my chest. I dont.
Do you like it? She gazed at the board, her fingers now hovering over the wrong pieces.
Of course I do, agapi I slid an arm around her shoulders and leaned over, pressing my lips against her temple, then her forehead. Her cheeks rose with her smile and so did my chest, and that ball tightened and tightened. I pressed my face into the mass of wavy hair and inhaled.
Apollo had said he knew what this kind of love was capable of. And I finally understood why Paris had risked his country and his blood for Helen. Selfish, yes, but I understood. I would burn down the world if that meant Alex would be safe.
Knock, knock, came Deacons voice.
Alex stiffened.
Pulling away from her, I looked up. He stood in the door, a slight smile on his face. Withdrawing my arm, I stood, surprised to find my legs weak.
Alexs eyes bounced from my brother to me and she mustve read something in my eyes, because she relaxed and went back to the chessboard.
Whats up? I asked.
He sauntered into the room. Whats up with you?
My lips twitched. Playing chess with Alex.
Stimulating. Deacon watched Alex move her chess pieces around the board in no particular order. Lukes been in contact with Olivia.
Shes with her mom and theyve hooked up with Laadan. They want to come here.