She let out a little breath and started to rise. Okay. I guess
Im sorry. My voice was low, words hoarse. I felt my cheeks burn, but I forced myself to keep going. Im sorry for everything, especially the thing in the hallway.
Olivia squeezed her thighs. Alex
I know you loved Caleb and all Ive been thinking about is my own hurt. I closed my eyes and swallowed down the lump in my throat. I really do wish I could go back and change everything that night. Ive thought a million times about all the things we couldve done differently.
You shouldnt do that to yourself, she said quietly. At first, I didnt want to know what really happened, you know? Like the details. I just couldnt deal with knowing for awhile, but I finally got Lea to tell me everything about a week ago.
I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. She hadnt accepted my apology, but we were talking.
She drew in a shallow breath, eyes gleaming. She told me that Caleb saved her. That you were fighting another daimon, and if he hadnt grabbed her, she wouldve died.
I nodded, clenching the notebook. Memories of the night surfaced,
of Caleb streaking past me.
He was really brave, wasnt he? Her voice caught.
Yes, I agreed passionately. He didnt even hesitate, Olivia. He was so fast and so good, but the daimon was just faster.
She blinked several times, and her lashes looked damp. You know, he told me what happened in Gatlinburg. Everything you guys went through and how you got him out of the house.
It was luck. Theymy mom and the othersstarted fighting. I didnt do anything special.
Olivia looked at me then. He thought the world of you, Alex. She paused, laughing quietly. When we first started dating, I was jealous of you. It was like I couldnt live up to everything you guys had together. Caleb really loved you.
I loved him. I took a breath. And he loved you, Olivia.
Her smile was watery. I guess I needed to blame someone. It couldve been Lea, or the Guards who failed to keep the daimons out. I dont know. Its just that youre this unstoppable forceyoure an Apollyon. Springy curls bounced as she shook her head. And
Im not an Apollyon, yet. But I get what youre saying. Im sorry. I squeezed the wire on the notebook. I just wish
And Im sorry.
My head jerked toward her.
It wasnt your fault. And I was a total bitch to blame you. That day in the hallway, I wanted to apologize but it just all came out wrong. And I know that Caleb would hate me for blaming you. I shouldnt have in the first place. I was just so hurt. I miss him so much. Her voice cracked and she turned away, taking a deep breath. I know those are just excuses, but I dont blame you.
Tears clogged my throat. You dont?
Olivia shook her head.
I wanted to hug her, but wasnt sure if that would be cool. Maybe it was too soon. Thank you. There was more I wanted to say, but I couldnt find the right words.
Her eyes closed. Want to hear something funny?
I blinked. Yeah.
Turning to me, she grinned even though her eyes glistened with tears. After the day you and Jackson had that fight, everyone was talking about it in the cafeteria. Cody was walking by and said something ignorant. I dont remember whatprobably something about how great being a pure-blood is. She rolled her eyes. Anyway, Lea got up all casually and dumped her entire plate of food on his head. A giggle broke free. I know I shouldnt laugh, but I wished youd seen that. It was hilarious.
My mouth dropped open. Seriously? What did Cody do? Did Lea get in trouble?
Cody threw a fit, calling us a bunch of heathens or something lame like that. I think Lea got written up and her sister wasnt too happy with her.
Wow. That doesnt sound like Lea.
Shes kind of changed. Olivia sobered up. You know, after everything? Shes not the same. Anyway, I have some stuff I need to do, but Im Im glad we talked.
I met her gaze and felt some of the tension leak away. It wouldnt be like before, not for awhile. Me, too.
She looked relieved as she smiled. See you in the cafeteria for lunch tomorrow?
Sure. Ill be there.
Im leaving for winter break next week with my mom. Some kind of Council business she has to attend to and she wants me to go with her, but when I get back, can we do something? Like maybe watch a movie or hang out?
While mortals had winter break over the Christmas holiday, we had ours the entire month of February, in celebration of Anthesterion. Back in the old days, the festival was only three days and everyone pretty much got drunk in honor of Dionysus. It was like All Souls Night and Carnival rolled into one giant, drunken orgy. At some point the pures had extended the festival to an entire month, calmed it down, and filled it with Council sessions. Slaves and servants used to be able to participate, but that had also changed. Yeah, that would be great. Id love to.
Good. Ill keep you to that. Olivia got up to leave, but stopped at the door. Turning around, she gave me a small wave and a tentative smile before dipping out.
I glanced at my notebook. Some of the hurt and guilt that had lingered after Calebs death had lifted. I took a deep breath and scribbled a quick note to Laadan, telling her not to worry about the drink incident and thanking her for telling me about my father. Then I wrote two sentences under the brief paragraph.