Now, where had I got to? Oh! I know, sir about that there poor gal. I dont know how I drove down that day for softness. It did seem so sad, so pitiful for that fine young creetur to be dragged off in that way. I quite hated mysen, for it was as though I was to do with it, and it was my fault; and at last, when wed got up to that place where the chap used to hatch his young cocks and hens by steam Cantelo, I think he called hisself Pepper-and-Salt says, Turn down here, and I turned down, and mighty glad I was when we got to the big old house, where they took the poor girl in, and I thinks to myself, Ah! next time as you comes out, my lass, Im afraid as it will be screwed down, and with the black welwet a hanging over you!
I got werry good pay for that job; but somehow it did not seem to lit, for the soft feeling as I told you of. Every bit o money seemed gritty, and I felt gritty, and as I drove Pepper-and-Salt back it was me as wouldnt talk.
I bought a haddick and took home to the old ooman for supper, and I toasted it myself, so as it shouldnt be burnt; and then we had a pint o porter made hot, with some ginger and sugar in it; and as I was a-smoking my pipe and watching the haddick, I tells Betsy all about it. But, praps you mightnt believe it, we didnt enjoy that supper: I felt kinder lonesome like, and I see a big drop go off the missuss nose more than once into the porter mug, as she sat a-rocking herself backwards and forwards.
Ah! theres some rum games a-going on in this here world, sir!
We jogged on in silence for some little time, when Hi! roared Cabby at an old lady crossing the road producing the excellent effect of making her stand still in the middle.
I know some o them old women ll be the death o me some day, said Cabby. They allus waits till a kebs a-coming afore they cross the road, and then when they gets knocked down theres a fuss and a inquest, and a reglar bother, of course.
Did you ever see one o them patent kebs as come up about five-and-twenty years ago? I mean them with a door opening behind, and a box up in front for the driver. Niste things they was for swindling a poor cove out of his hard-earned suffrins. More nor wunst Ive had people a-slipping out without stopping on me, and, of course, when
I pulls up, if the keb wasnt empty. Begging of your pardon, sir, it was enough to make a saint swear.
Coome orn, will yer? Arter you, sir, with the light agen; talking lets ones weed out more nor anything. Rum fellows them sailors, sir; there goes two with the name of their ship on their hats, like dogs with their masters name on their collar. Rum dogs, too British bulldogs. They aint no notion at all o what moneys worth; they seem to fancy as its only meant to spend never thinks a bit about saving of it. I took one up wunst at London Bridge, and I opens the door for him, and touches my hat quite civil, for I allus does that to a fare, whosumever he be. Mighty pleased he seemed, too, for he pulls out a tanner what you calls a tizzy, you know, sir and he hands it over, and he says
Gives hold o the rudder-lines, mate, and fetch a glass o grog to drink afore sailing. And then he gets hold of the reins, and I fetches a glass of rum-and-water, and we drinks it fair atween us; and when I holds the door open agen, he pitches his bundle inside. Clap on the hatches, he says, and he bangs to the door, and then, while I was a-staring, up he goes, and put hisself plop atop o the roof, for all the world like a tailor, and there he began a-chewing his bacca. Decks clear, mate, he says, clap on sail; and away we goes along Cheapside, and the boys a-cheering and hooraying like all that.
We hadnt gone werry far before he ails me to stop, and then we has another glass o rum-and-water. And so we goes on and on, making no end o calls, till at last we must both have been in a werry reprehensible state, sir; for all I remembers is waking up at four oclock in the morning in our mews, with the horses head as far into the stable as he could get it, and the sailor a-sitting fast asleep on the tother cushion inside the keb just opposite to me. But then, you see, sailors is such rum chaps!
Law, sir, its wonderful the dodges as Ive seen in my time. Peoples beginning to find out as theres some romance in a keb now, since that chap pisoned his wife and two children in one of our wehicles licensed to carry four persons and then went and did for hissen. He was a bad un, reglar. I wunst had a case of that sort myself. I remember it as well as if it was only yesterday, and its many a year ago now. That was a night, surety all rain and sleet mixed up, and the roads churned into a pudge City batter, I calls it. I was on night-work, a-sitting on my box, driving about anyveres, noveres like, for it was too cold for the hoss to stand still. Praps I shouldnt ha got him on again, for hed ha turned stiff. Id been a-growling to myself like that I should have to be out on such a night, and was then twisting of an old red ankercher round the brim o my hat, to keep the rain from running down, when a street door opens, and a woman comes running out with a man arter her.