We have also several puns recorded in Diogenes Laertius's "Lives of the Philosophers;" and those made by the wisest and gravest men among them, even by Diogenes the cynick, who, although pretending to withstand the irresistible charms of punning, was cursed with the name of an abhorrer Yet, in spite of all his ill-nature and affectation (for he was a tub-preacher), he made so excellent a pun, that Scaliger said, "He would rather have been author of it, than king of Navarre." The story is as follows: Didymus (not Didymus the commentator upon Homer, but a famous rake among the ladies at Athens) having taken in hand to cure a virgin's eye that was sore, had this caution given him by Diogenes, "Take care you do not corrupt your pupil." The word κρα signifies both the pupil of the eye and a virgin.
It would be endless to produce all the authorities that might be gathered, from Diodorus Siculus, Herodotus, Proconosius, Bergæus, Dionysius Halicarnassensis, Lycophron, Pindar, Apollonius, Menander, Aristophanes, Corinthus Cous, Nonnus, Demosthenes, Euripides, Thucydides, Plato, Aristotle, &c.; from every one of which I should have produced some quotations, were it not that we are so unfortunate in this kingdom not to have Greek types sufficient for such an undertaking: for want of which, I have been put to the necessity, in the word κρα, of writing an alpha for an éta .
However, I believe it will not be amiss to bring some few testimonies, to show in what great esteem the art of punning was among the most refined wits at Rome, and that in the most polite ages, as will appear from the following quotations.
Quinctilian says, "Urbanitas est virtus quædam, in breve dictum, verum sensu duplici, coacta, et apta ad delectandos homines," &c. Thus translated, "Punning is a virtue, comprised in a short expression, with a double meaning, and fitted to delight the ladies."
Lucretius also,
Petronius likewise will tell you,
1. Let the husband teach his wife to read it.2. Let her be appointed to teach her children.
3. Let the head servant of the family instruct all the rest, and that every morning before the master and mistress are up.
4. The masters and misses are to repeat a rule every day, with the examples; and every visiting-day be brought up, to show the company what fine memories they have.
5. They must go ten times through the book, before they be allowed to aim at a pun.
6. They must every day of their lives repeat six synonymous words, or words like in sound, before they be allowed to sit down to dinner, such as
They are all to be found in metre, most laboriously compiled by the learned author of "The English School-master," printed anno 1641, London edit. p. 52.7. If any eldest son has not a capacity to attain to this science, let him be disinherited as non-compos , and the estate given to the next hopeful child.
Punning is an art of harmonious jingling upon words, which, passing in at the ears, and falling upon the diaphragma, excites a titillary motion in those parts; and this being conveyed by the animal spirits into the muscles of the face, raises the cockles of the heart.