For the same reason that we object to proper names, we need scarcely observe that all trite puns are detestable. There are a number of words, such as heart , love , soul , last , grave , and a host of others, that have been fairly worn thread-bare in the service. Let him whose wit is not competent to discover some other sources than these hackneyed ones, be a listener, but by no means a speaker in a circle of punsters. Decies repetita placebit , however just it may be as the criterion of merit in a poem, will never do for a pun, one of whose chief excellencies is novelty, nay, which often, however rich at the moment of its utterance, will not successfully admit of repetition, even to those who have never before heard it, at another time and under different circumstances.
A pun can rarely be considered very good, which involves a difference of orthography. It appears like a descent from its true dignity to the level of a common conundrum.
Lastly, let every punster bear in mind, that punning is only the sauce of conversation, and that he who thinks to entertain by introducing it continually into his discourse, resembles a man who should present me with a dish of Cayenne pepper alone by way of a meal. It may likewise be observed, that what is usually called an inveterate, is never a good punster. The constant desire of display, by accustoming himself to be contented with mediocrity, or something below it, almost disqualifies him from uttering any thing above it. We may say with justice, "a pun spoken in good season, how good is it!" Time, and place, and persons too, must be regarded. The punster, while he enlivens conversation, is one of the greatest acquisitions to a company; when he only interrupts it, he is one of its greatest nuisances. Much more could we add concerning both the theory and practice of this art, but we would not willingly become tedious. Gentle reader, whosoever thou art, receive in good part what we have here written; imbue thyself with such a love of punning, and such a sense of its dignity, that thy efforts may exalt and not degrade it: so shalt thou merit the good wish which, with a sincere heart, we now bestow upon thee: Mayest thou become one of the warmest admirers of punning, and shine as one of the first of punsters!
THE ORIGIN OF PUNNING: FROM PLATO'S SYMPOSIACKS
ARS PUN-ICA, SIVE FLOS LINGUARUM; THE ART OF PUNNING,
"Ex ambiguâ dictâ vel argutissima putantur; sed non semper in joco, sæpe etiam in gravitate versantur. Ingeniosi enim videtur, vim verbi in aliud atque cæteri accipiant, posse ducere."Cicero, de Oratore, Lib. ii. § 61, 2.
First, I then proclaim to the world your high and illustrious birth: that you are, by the father's side, descended from the most ancient and celebrated family of Rome, the Cascas; by the mother's, from Earl Percy. Some indeed have been so malicious as to say, your grandmother kill'd-her-kin : but, I think if the authors of the report were found out, they ought to be hampered . I will allow that the world exclaims deservedly against your mother , because she is no friend to the bottle ; otherwise they would deserve a firkin , as having no grounds for what they say. However, I do not think it can sully your fine and bright reputation; for the credit you gained at the battle of Hogshed , against the Duke of Burgundy , who felt no sham-pain , when you forced him to sink beneath your power, and gave his whole army a brush , may in time turn to your account; for, to my knowledge, it put his highness upon the fret . This indeed was no less racking to the king his master, who found himself gross-lee mistaken in catching a tartar . For the whole world allowed, that you brought him a peg lower, by giving him the parting-blow , and making all his rogues in buckram to run . Not to mention your great a-gillity , though you are past your prim-age ; and may you never lack-age , with a sparkling wit, and brisk imagination! May your honour also wear long, beyond the common scantling of human life, and constantly proceed in your musical diversions of pipe and sack-but , hunting with tarriers , &c. and may your good humour in saying, "I am-phor-a-bottle ," never be lost to the joy of all them that drink your wine for nothing, and especially of,