That car is so ugly, youd have to put a pork chop on the backseat to get the dog to ride in it
Iste currus tam turpis est ut necesse tibi sit ponere offam porcinam in sede postrema ut persuadeas cani ut vehatur eo
You deserve a dopeslap for buying it!
Eum tam imprudenter comparando meruisti alapam!
If the rattle gets too bad, wear earmuffs
Nimium si strepat, indue operimenta tuis auribus
Of course you think you can repair it-youre a moron!
Scilicet putas te currum reficere posse-stipes es!
Whatever it is, its going to cost you five hundred bucks, if thats what it
is
Quodcumque est, Ioachimicis tibi quingentis constabit, siquidem est, quod esse creditur
Try putting it in neutral and pushing it off a cliff
Vide quid eventurum sit si, dinexo ingranagio, currum e scopulo pepuleris
Keep in mind, people in the rearview mirror are even stupider than they appear
Tene memoria, viatores conspectos in speculo retrospicienti stultiores esse quam videntur
And remember, dont drive like my brother!
Et memento, noli agere currum ut frater meus!
B.S.-BUBULUM STERCUS
Suo tractu operto suburbio extenso, canis latrans domicilium meum ingressus praescriptum domesticum mihi devoravit
Due to global warming, my homework spontaneously combusted
Orbe terrarum nimium calefacto combustione hydrogonanthracum, pensum meum domesticum sua sponte flammam concepit
My homework was seized as evidence by mistake by DEA agents in a drug bust at the wrong address
In domum meam perperam incurrentes, vigiles qui exsequuntur usum medicamentorum illicitorum nimis studiosi pensum domesticum pro testimonio iniuste abstulerunt
My homework was forcibly recycled by eco-terrorists
Praescriptum meum domesticum per vim in fibras redactum est a sodalitate quae terrore pro Terra utitur
* My homework contracted mad homework disease and had to be destroyed.
** Bullshit!
My homework contracted mad homework disease and had to be destroyed
Necesse erat pensum domesticum meum, quod incidit in rabiem pensi deleri
Strict zoning codes enacted by the town board make it illegal for me to work at home
Praescriptis severis de aedificiorum usu decretis a decurionibus municipalibus, mihi non licet operari domi
Because of a lack of statewide standards, the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that I had to stop doing my homework immediately
Normis civitati universae deficientibus, quinque ex iudicibus Tribunalis Supremi decreverunt, quattuor negantibus, ut pensum statim deponerem
Small Talk during a Colonoscopy-COLLOCUTIO INTER COLONOSCOPIAM
Nunc novi quid Manipupa sentiat
Any sign of the trapped miners?
Conspicisne metallicos sepultos?
Are you there yet? Are you there yet? Are you there yet?
Advenistine? Advenistine? Advenistine?
Could you provide me with an affidavit stating that my head is not, in fact, up there?
Potesne mihi testimonium impertire adfirmans caput meum reapse non infixum esse podici?
Medical Confab-CONFABULATIO CUM MEDICO
Vereor ne tristem tibi nuntium adferam, medice
Ive noticed you have no concept of time-Ive been waiting for over an hour
Animadverti te nullam notionem temporis habere-nam plus quam unam horam tibi praestolatus sum
Your handwriting on prescriptions is totally illegible and shows signs of dementia
Chirographum tuum quasi demens in medicamentorum praescriptis nemo legere potest
Your manner is oddly distracted
Te geris mirum in modum neglegenter
You have an extremely strange sense of humor
Inusitatissima iocaris
Your fees are insane
Mercedes tuae insanae sunt
I think you have a brain tumor
Puto te tuber in cerebro alere
Ill stop in again in a year and see how youre doing
Reveniam ad annum ut cognoscam de valetudine tua
Hang in there!
Perfer et obdura!
Homeland Security-SALUS PATRIAE
Has epistulas debitorum solutionem poscentes aperirem, sed metuo ne bacilli anthracis insint
The bad news is, the Martians have landed and, boy, are they mean; the good news is they hate Arabs and they piss gasoline
Tristis nuntio Martios descendisse et, eheu, truculentos esse, sed laetus nuntio illos odisse Arabes oleumque octanum meiere
If you dont give me this putt, the terrorists win
Nisi mihi hunc puteolum concedis, phobistae vincunt
If I cant get a decent table at a top restaurant on short notice, the terrorists have won
Nisi mensam opimam in popina optima extemplo accumbere possum, phobistae vicerunt
If you wont sleep with me, the terrorists will have won
Nisi mecum concubueris, phobistae vicerint
Get out the duct tape-Im about to fart!
Effer fasciam adhaesivam-mox pedam!
Useful Phrases for Barbarian Evildoers-LOCUTIONES UTILES MALEFACTORIBUS BARBARIS
surrender! Please do not fire your catapult!
Me dedo! Quaeso, noli iacere tela ballista!
There is no anti-Roman sentiment here!
Hic nemo est quin Romam amet!
We love your big chariots, fast food, and violent culture!
Amamus vestras currus immanes, cibum festinanter paratum, et cultum saevum!
We hate our wicked and corrupt leaders!
Odimus duces nostros improbos pravosque!
We welcome you as liberators, not conquerors!
Vos non victores, sed liberatores salutamus!