Mater tua tam turpis est ut cum di eam mutaverint in porcam, suas preces putaverit eos audivisse
Your mother is so stupid, when she found a coin with Caesars name on it, she tired to return it to him
Mater tua tam stulta est ut cum invenerit nummum ferentem nomen Caesaris, huic eum restituere conata sit
Go ahead, punk-make my day
Age, catamite-fac mihi hunc diem felicissimum
Spring Break-FERIAE VERNALES
Iter faciamus!
Lets party hearty!
Pergraecemur!
Wet T-shirt contest!
Certamen inter mammosas tunicis madefactis vestitas!
Go ahead, card me. See, Ive got a Latin ID. Im 2,000 years old.
Age, scrutare chartam identitatis meam. Ecce, est mihi syngraphus Latinus. Duo milia annorum sum natus.
Im wasted!
Crapulentus sum!
Im going to hurl!
Vomiturus sum!
Country Music Favorites-MUSICA RUSTICA FAVORABILISSIMA
If Your Phone Doesnt Ring, Its Me
Causam Tibi Dabo Bibendi
Ill Give You Something to Drink About
Quomodo Una Nocte Facta Tam Turpis Es?
How Did You Get So Ugly Overnight?
Si Dies Hodiernus Esset Piscis, Reicerem
If Today Was a Fish Id Throw it Back
Mater Cape Malleum, Musca Sedet in Capite Patris
Mother Get the Hammer, Theres a Fly on Papas Head
Si Me Deseras, Liceatne Mihi Te Comitari?
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
Quomodo Te Desiderare Potero Si Non Discesseris?
How Can I Miss You If You Wont Go Away?
Per Anulum Illa Trusit Digitum Medicinalem, Ac Ostendit Mihi Digitum Medium
She Got the Ring, and I Got the Finger
Tu Causa Es Cur Liberi Nostri Tam Turpiculi Sint
Youre the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
Sine Te Tam Miser Sum Ut Videaris Etiamnunc Adesse
Im So Miserable Without You Its Like Having You Here
Caput Dolet, Pedes Fetent, Iesum Non Amo
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Dont Love Jesus
Chilling Out-SERMO OTIOSORUM
Quagis?
Nothin, watching the game
Nihil ago, ludos specto
True, true
Vero, vero
Its off the hook
Ab unco remotumst
Talk to the hand, the face dont understand
Adloquere manum, facies nescit quid velis
Black togas are cool
Togae atrae lepidae sunt
Want to see my sword collection?
Vin aspicere collectum gladiorum meum?
Im thinking of taking a catapult into the school cafeteria
Cogito ferre catapultam in cenationem scholae
Graffiti-INSCRIPTIONES LATRINALES
Suscipite amorem, non bellum-eheu, iuncti matrimonio, suscipite utrumque
Procrastinate now
Procrastina rem nunc
Flush twice, its a long way to Texas
Evacua cratera latrinalem bis, Texas procul est
If it has tits, tires, or testicles, its nothing but trouble
Mammeatae, rotalia, testiculati, omni modo molesta sunt
Gods are dead
Di mortui sunt
Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder
Cervesia pota, pulchritudo cernitur
Yankee, go home-and take me with you
Americani, redite domum-ducentes me vobiscum
If we arent supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Si quidem animalia nobis edenda non sunt, quare constant ex carne?
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cant
Sunt genera tria hominum: illi qui numerare possunt, et illi qui non possunt
It is as bad as you think, and they are out to get you
Res tam malae sunt quam putas, et inimici re vera te persequuntur
Why dont psychics ever win the lottery?
In sortitionibus donativis, cur numquam praemia consequuntur sortilegi?
Aunt Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog-Dorothy
Amita Aemilia: Te Kansiamque odi, Canem mecum abduco-Dorothea
If walking is so good for you, why does my mailman look like Jabba the Hut?
Si quidem pedibus ire tam salubre corpori est, cur similis est noster tabellarius forma illi Iabbae Hutico?
Kill Barney
Interfice Arcturulum, istum mimum personatum portentosum purpureum palaeozoicum
Road Rage-IRA IN VIA
Ubi didicisti gubernare currum? In fuga ab Hunnis?
Thats it, numbnuts. Pull out in front of me, then slow down when you get to the
light.
Euge, enervate eunuche! Ingredere in orbitam meam prae me, tum reprime cursum cum biviali lucernae approprinquas.
Now speed up when I try to pass you, and as I go by, give me the finger.
Nunc, accelera cum conor te praeterire, mihique praetereunti ostende digitum impudicum.
Okay, tailgater-time for a brake check
Em, ichneumon-tempus est sufflamina temptare
Big car, little dick
Currus magnus, mentula minuscula
You know what S.U.V.s and hemorrhoids have in common? Every asshole has one.
Scisne quid commune superlativa urbana vehicula cum haemorrhoidis habeant? Est unum ex his utrisque malis cuique pathico.
* Thats it, numbnuts! Pull out in front of me, then slow down when you get to the light!
** Where did you learn to drive? Fleeing from Huns?
Lady, if youre going to sit there all day yakking on your cell phone, why dont you stick a steering wheel on your living room wall and just stay home?
Muliercula, si vis ibi sedens garrire totum diem in Nokiam tuam, quidni rotam adfigens gubernalem ad murum conclavis domi maneas?
What are you saving those pretty little turn signals for-Christmas?
Quod ad tempus reservas ista lumina pulchella praemonitoria-ad Saturnalia?
No, Mr. Busybody, I am not handicapped, but you will be if you dont move your nosy butt out of that parking place, pronto