Vinum irritum pusillum rubrum est, incomparabiliter librans ignorantiam suam cum ostentatione, a quodam Trimalchione Napaensi confectum salaputiis gloriosis immerito fortunatis, persimilibus sui
Its a dirt-cheap head-banging screw-top bum wine that I poured into a leftover bottle with a fancy French label while no one was looking
Vappa vilissima est, quae capitis dolores facit, quamque ex lagona obturamento versatili clausa in lagunculam reliquam, cui pittacium Gallicum speciosum affixum erat, transfudi, dum nemo me spectabat
* Its a dirt-cheap head-banging screw-top bum wine that I poured into a leftover bottle with a fancy French label while no one was looking.
** My compliments to the chef-the empire lost a truly inspired poisoner when he decided to go to cooking school.
The Bestseller List-TABULA LIBRORUM VENDIBILISSIMORUM
Artis Ornatus Arcana Per Quae Casa Tua Rustica Celeriter Expediteque Converti Potest in Villam Venustam Sine Sumptu Extra Modum Vitruvius Pollio scripsit
Toujours, Gaul by Julius Caesar
Semper, Gallia C. Iulius Caesar scripsit
Eat Right-for that Lean and Hungry Look! by Cassius
Edi Recte-ut Speciem Macram et Ieiunam Geras auctore C. Cassio Longino
Great-Tasting Hot Meals Your Slaves Can Whip Up in Two Days or Less by Cato the Elder
Edulia Calida Sapidissimaque quae Familia Tua Potest Parare Duobus Diebus vel Uno M. Porcius Cato descripsit
Cleopatras Hour-a-Day Bun-Firming Love-Muscle Sexercise Workout by Mark Antony
De Cleopatrae Callipygiana Exercitatione Aphrodisiaca Per Unam Horam in Singulos Dies Musculorum Venereorum M. Antonius scripsit
Letters to My Cat by Pliny the Younger
Epistulae ad Felem Suam quas C. Plinius Caecilius Secundus scripsit
What Color is Your Catapult? by Frontinus
Cuius Coloris est Catapulta Tua? Sextus Iulius Frontinus scripsit
Oracles Say the Darnedest Things by Livy
Oraculis Inusitatissima Enuntiantur Titus Livius scripsit
Entrail Reading for Dummies by Cicero
Haruspicium Stipitibus Explicat M. Tullius Cicero
Men Are from Troy, Women Are from Greece by Virgil
E Troia Viri, Ex Graecia Feminae Oriuntur P. Virgilius Maro scripsit
Now You Can Lose Weight without Vomiting with the Revolutionary Larks Tongue Diet by Apicius
Nunc Adipem Deponere Potes Sine Vomitu per Diaetam Novam atque Inauditam Quae Linguarum Alaudarum Esum Praescribit L. Apicius scripsit
Latin for Trekkies-SERMO LATINUS SECTATORIBUS PEREGRINATIONIS ASTRALIS
Scutorum nostrorum potestatis remanet solummodo quarta pars, et istae scintillae ridiculae ex omnibus claviaturis gubernatoriis evolant!
Were being controlled by a subordinating conjunction of time implying purpose or intent
Coercemur coniunctione subiunctiva temporali quae propositum vel intentionem significat
Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated into the subjunctive.
Resistere irritum est. Praeparate vos ad translationem in modum subiunctivum.
Its our only hope. Activate the transitive verbs and engage the ablative of separation.
Hoc sola spes nobis est. Verbis transitivis citis, adhibe casum ablativum separationis.
Were entering the future perfect indicative. Well only have one chance to achieve a case shift.
Intramus tempus futurum perfectum modo indicativo. Unam tantum occasionem habebimus mutandi casum.
Were slipping into the passive. Quick, reroute all available power to the verb endings.
In genus passivum labimur. Inmitte cito impetum omnem quem in promptu habemus in terminationes verborum.
We have entered. We shall have entered! Do be entering!
Intravimus! Intraverimus! Intratote!
To be continued
Narratio resumetur
Attack Ads-PRAECONIUM PROCAX CANDIDATORUM
Quaerite a competitore meo cur vectigal Bibliis Sacris et vexillis Americanis imponere velit ad epulas comparandas homicidis condemnatis
Call my opponent and demand that he stop accepting campaign contributions from operators of nursing-home casinos, publishers of pornographic childrens books, and owners of Mexican puppy mills
Vocantes competitorem meum poscite ut desinat accipere ad ambitionem alendam dona vel ab eis qui virginibus puerisque libros edunt Sotadicos, vel ab eis qui aleatoria in gerontocomiis apparant, vel ab eis qui catellos in Hispania Nova immodice alunt
* Ask my opponent why he wants to put a tax on Bibles and American flags to buy gourmet meals for convicted murderers
** Tell my opponent you oppose his plan to sponsor a law forcing Sunday schools to hire unemployed bilingual homosexual drug addicts
Tell my opponent you oppose his plan to sponsor a law forcing Sunday schools to hire unemployed bilingual homosexual drug addicts
Dicite competitori meo vos obstare proposito suo ferendi legem quae cogat ludos Dominicales conducere paedicatores otiosos bilingues narcomaniacos
Business Latin-SERMO LATINUS NEGOTIALIS
Recuso reverenter ne respondeam, quia quicquid dicam id sit mendacium impudens
It wasnt all done with smoke and mirrors-there were some bells and whistles, too
Non solum fumo speculisque, sed etiam tintinnabulis fistulisque factum est
It wasnt really a loss, it was a loan, which of course shows up as a profit