Come on, Carly. Nikki put an arm around the childs shoulders, pointedly ignoring her earlier and still unanswered question. Mommy will tuck you back into bed.
Colin watched them walk back into the house together, unable to tear his attention away from his little girl.
Hed never given much thought to the possibility of having a family. But faced with the indisputable evidence that he had a child, there was no doubt in his mind that he needed a chance to be her father. A real fatherthe kind of dad hed never had.
Unfortunately, he wasnt sure hed get that chance. He was on the run, hiding out from someone who wanted him dead. How could he pursue any kind of relationship under those circumstances? How could he expect to be her father when he might have to leave town without a moments notice?
This time he did hear the creak of the screen door, and he turned as Nikki came back out onto the porch. Tension radiated from her slight frame in waves, but she faced him defiantly. Her names Carly. Shes four-and-a-half years old.
Shes mine, Colin said.
It was a statement rather than a question, but Nikki nodded anyway. Yes.
Why didnt you tell me?
She looked at him, her eyes filled with sadness and regret, but she didnt respond.
He slammed his fist against the wooden post, and Nikki flinched. Dammit, Nicole. Why didnt you tell me?
He caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes before she averted her gaze.
I think I deserve some answers. Colins voice practically vibrated with tightly restrained anger. He didnt care. He figured he was well within his rights to be angry, and the fury was more tolerable than the fear that had followed him across the country and easier to deal with than the inexplicable longing to take her in his arms.
Nikki drew in a deep breath, nodded stiffly again.
Its been more than five years, and you never said a word. Not one-single-goddamned word.
A single tear slipped onto her cheek, trailed slowly downward. Im sorry. I never wanted you to find out this way.
Or maybe you never wanted me to find out at all.
She shook her head. I wanted to tell youI was going to tell you.
Youre five years too late.
No. She managed to glare at him through her tears. Youre five years too late.
There was just enough truth in her words to infuriate him. Dont try to blame this on me. You should have told me as soon as you found out you were pregnant. Or didnt you know at the time that it was my baby?
He wouldnt have thought it was possible, but her already pasty cheeks paled further.
There was never any doubt, she said softly. But if thats what you think of me, then maybe it doesnt matter what I did or should have done.
Maybe it doesnt, he agreed callously.
Nikki
managed to hold back the tears until Colin had stormed off. She listened to the slam of the car door, the gunning of the engine, the squeal of tires as he pulled out of the driveway. She waited until his vehicle was out of sight before she went back inside, then she tiptoed up the stairs to check on her sleeping daughter.
She brushed the soft curls back from her forehead, then pressed a gentle kiss to one rosy cheek. Carly didnt even stir. Whatever unpleasant dreams had disturbed her slumber earlier had obviously been banished, and she slept deeply now, contentedly.
Of course, she had no idea that her life as shed always known it was about to change.
Or maybe not.
Colin had been shocked to learn that he had a child; he was furious that Nikki hadnt told him about their daughter. But maybe, once he had some time to think about it, hed decide there was no place in his life for a child. Maybe this revelation would inspire him to leave town as unexpectedly as hed returnedforever this time.
Nikki sighed, knowing in her heart that although Colins disappearance might be the easiest solution to the problem, it wasnt what she wanted for Carly. Despite the emotional scene on her porch, she was glad hed come back, relieved he finally knew.
There had been so many times over the years when shed wanted to call him, so many times shed wanted to share her feelingsher hopes and dreams for their child, so many milestones shed wished hed been a part of.
She slipped from the room, closing the door softly behind her, and for the first time since Carly was born, she allowed herself to cry for everything she and Colin had lost. Everything their daughter had missed out on by not having her daddy in her life.
When Arden came home a short while later, Nikkis tears were finally spent. Her cousin dropped a copy of the Fairweather Gazette on the coffee table before sitting beside Nikki on the sofa. I guess I dont have to ask if youve seen him.
Nikki shook her head.
What happened?
He showed up here and Carly decided to make an impromptu appearance.
Arden winced. Not the best way he could have found out.
I know. And I know you warned me. For the past five years, Arden had been trying to convince Nikki to contact Colin, to tell him about their daughter.
But she still believed shed done the right thing.
Colin had made it clear that hed wanted out of their marriage, hed wanted to sever the ties that held them together. And a marriage was little more than a piece of paper, a legal institution. A child was flesh and blood, a lifelong responsibility. The last thing Nikki had wanted was to use their baby to try to hold on to him. Shed loved him too much to settle for less than his love in return.