Hed ended their marriage not because he didnt want to be with her, but because he wanted her to have the life she deserved. A husband who could be with her, the family shed always wanted. It had almost killed him to think of her with someone else, but hed forced himself to walk away, to give her that chance.
At the time, hed honestly believed he was doing what was best for Nikki. As shed done what she had for their daughter.
So how could he blame her for keeping her pregnancy a secret when her reasons so closely paralleled his own?
Nikki finally sank down into one of the vacant kitchen chairs, obviously drained by their argument. I think whats more important than what either one of us did five years ago is what you want to do now.
I want to be a father to my daughter.
Her hesitation spoke volumes, and had his anger rising again.
For how long? she finally asked. How long are you going to stick around and actually be part of her life?
He was so damned tired of rehashing the same argument, of feeling guilty for the decisions hed made. Mostly he hated that he couldnt give her a definitive answer. Because until he knew for certain that the threats against his life were past, he couldnt promise her anything.
Im here now, was all he said.
Colin left Nikkis house with a lot of issues still unresolved but with a firm date set for him to see Carly: tomorrow.
Nikki and Carly had plans to go to the botanical gardens for a picnic in the afternoon, and Nikki had reluctantly agreed to let him tag along. They were still at odds about the daddy versus uncle matter, but Colin was so excited about actually spending some time with his daughter, he almost didnt care what she called him.
By the time he got back to his hotel, apprehension was warring with anticipation. He knew nothing about children, less than nothing about his own child. Had he pushed the issue too soon? Had he forced all of them into a situation that none of them was prepared for?
He had to admit, it wouldnt be the first time. When Nikki had agreed to marry him, hed rushed her to
Vegas without fully considering the magnitude of such a step. Hed loved her, but that love hadnt been enough to sustain their marriage.
Was his pursuit of a relationship with his daughter destined to the same fate?
No, he refused to believe it. This was different. This was about his child. Hed already missed the first four-and-a-half years of her life; he refused to miss even one more day.
The ring of his cell phone was a welcome interruption from his disquieting thoughts.
Hello?
Where are you? came the impatient demand.
He recognized his agents voice immediately.
Im in Fairweather, Colin told him.
Didnt you hear the news? The police arrested Duncan Parnell.
Yeah. Detective Brock called me last night.
Then why the hell are you still in Pennsylvania? Get your butt on a plane and get back here.
Im not coming back, Colin said. Not right now, anyway.
A long, stunned silence followed his announcement. Then Ian finally asked, Why not?
He didnt even know where to begin to answer that question. Its a long story.
Its a woman, isnt it? Ian didnt wait for a response. Dammit, Colin, havent I always warned you that women are the downfall of men?
And you have four ex-wives to prove it, Colin finished for him. Yeah, youve told me the story.
Obviously you werent listening.
Youre my agent, not my personal advisor. And as my agent, I need you to look into a job opportunity for me.
Youre not unemployed yet, Ian reminded him. The new owners havent made a decision about your contract.
Colin ignored the protest. Theres a new cable station launching in Fairweather in Septemberan all-sports channelthats looking for on-screen personalities.
Ian groaned. You dont know anything about television.
Just get me an interview and a screen test.
Youre sure about this?
Positive.
For the first time in five years, he knew exactly what he wanted, and he wasnt going to let anything stand in his way of getting it.
Chapter 4
Im glad I didnt tell Carly he was coming with us, Nikki told Arden.
Hes not?
No. Something came up, she repeated his explanation scornfully.
Arden frowned. Something that couldnt wait?
Apparently not. She wasnt disappointed, she assured herself, she was annoyed. After all, he was the one whod insisted on spending time with Carly. The only reason shed agreed was that she felt backed into a corner, his casual threat about taking her to court still looming in her mind.
The biggest irony was that shed glanced at her calendar this morning and realized it was Fathers Day. And shed actually been pleased that Carly would, for the first time in her life, spend Fathers Day with her daddy.
That doesnt sound like the same man who badgered you into letting him spend the day with Carly, Arden said.
No, Nikki agreed. Although its not the first time hes changed his mind about what he wants. They both knew she was referring to the marriage Colin had ended before their first year anniversary.
He didnt offer any kind of explanation?