Oh my God, she said. Whats wrong with your face?
Nothing is wrong with it.
Youre bleeding, Jeremy, she said loudly. Oh, Jesus, youre bleeding ! Other people looked.
I know, I said. I didnt say anything else; I just stared at her. Real hard.
Why are you looking at me like that? she said.
Because, I said.
Because what? She said that quietly, like she was scared.
Then Mr. Hurston came in. He said, Hello, class, new morning, same old history, like he always did.
Mr. Hurston, said good Jerry Holtz. Mr. Hurston, look, Jeremys bleeding.
Mr. Hurston, hes staring at me, said Stacey. She was right; I was staring at her. Mr. Hurston walked over to my desk. He put his hand under my chin, in the blood, and held my face up to his. I looked into his empty blue eyes. His eyebrows were silvery like his hair.
What happened? he asked.
Nothing, I said.
Who did this to you?
No one.
Okay, no one did it, right. All right, who?
No one.
Fine, if you wont tell me, I want you to go to the office right now and see Mrs. Moore. He looked around the room. Jerry, I want you to take Jeremy to the office, to see Mrs. Moore, okay?
Sure, Mr. Hurston, said Jerry. He walked to the door and waited for me.
Mr. Hurston let my face go. I didnt stand up yet. I just turned my head and stared at Stacey again.
What? she said. She sounded mad now. Everyone was watching.
Then I leaned in and whispered, I did it for you.
You did what for me? What are you talking about?
But I was already standing and walking toward Jerry at the door. There was Lewis walking in with his dumb look.
Did Thomas Jefferson do that? I said. And walked past him. I didnt look back, but I could hear people asking Stacey what it was all about.
In the hall Jerry asked me what happened. I told him I was fighting for a girl. He asked who. I told him he wouldnt understand.
Why did you say you did it for Stacey? he asked as we crossed the quad toward the tower building.
What? I didnt.
I thought you did.
No.
Well thats good, he said. That would have been a shame.
Why?
No, I mean if you had done anything for her. The sun was warm on my back and reflecting off the windows of the office, a bright circle into my eyes.
I didnt do it for her.
Cuz shes a total slut, he said.
I fucking know, I said. But I didnt know. I didnt know anything.
We were almost at the office. The office was an old brick building with a tower in the center with a Spanish cupola. We called it the Tower Building.
As we got closer each window in the tower flashed yellow and white.
At the office Jerry ran up the stairs. He stood at the top and held the door for me. The reflection in the windows above Jerry was as bright as the real sun. As I walked up the steps my face pounded under the skin, I could feel the blood thick and sticky on my clavicle, and I stared right into the burning center of light.
Killing Animals
Birds, and birds, and animals, and things; with slingshots, and BB guns, we killed em, and killed em. We killed so many.
Every once in a while one of my friends would get a BB gun and we would go on a spree. Wed shoot anything that moved.
When we were in seventh grade, Ronny Feldman and Ami and I slept over at Sauls house. Ronny brought two slingshots. They were black metal in a scary Y shape; the arms stuck out farther forward than the base. Tied to the arms was plastic
kids could ride. A horse and a seal and a lion. We kicked them until the lion lost his face; it was bent inward, the eyes all wrong.
There was a municipal shed in the middle of the park. Saul and Ronny and Ami boosted me up to a transom that was cracked open. I pulled the transom open and scrambled through like a squirrel. I dropped down into the dark and then opened the door from the inside.
There was nothing in there but a bunch of basketballs, and footballs, and soccer balls, and cones, and stuff like that. We took the balls out and threw them into the air and shot them, but they didnt pop. Then we kicked them all over.
We walked across the park and went to our school. It was called J.L.S. after J. L. Stanford, the guy who built the university. At night the hallways were dark, and the walls were gray and grim.
We shot pellets through the windows. The pellets made little mosquito bites in the glass. We would be able to admire our work on Monday.
We carved with rocks into the window of Mr. Shepards Social Studies classroom. I wrote FUCK HOMER because we were learning about the Greeks. Ronny carved a swastika. We all told him he was stupid. Saul and Ami were both Jewish, and so was I, but I wasnt raised Jewish.
Ronny just thought the swastika was funny.
We kicked over some trash cans, and then walked back toward Sauls along Middlefield Road.
We passed Simone Chriss house. She had been my girlfriend in fourth grade. I fought Sam Tuttle for her. He was tall and thin like a scarecrow, and said that he liked her. One lunch, everyone gathered behind the elementary school library, and Sam and I got ready to fight. I kicked Sam in the shin and he fell to the ground holding his leg. I felt awesome.