Zaphod, she said patiently, they were floating unprotected in open space you wouldnt want them to have died would you?
Well, you know no. Not as such, but
Not as such? Not die as such? But? Trillian cocked her head on one side.
Well, maybe someone else might have picked them up later.
A second later and they would have been dead.
Yeah, so if youd taken the trouble to think about the problem a bit longer it would have gone away.
Youd been happy to let them die?
Well, you know, not happy as such, but
Anyway, said Trillian, turning back to the controls, I didnt pick them up.
What do you mean? Who picked them up then?
The ship did.
Huh?
The ship did. All by itself.
Huh?
Whilst we were in Improbability Drive.
But thats incredible.
No Zaphod. Just very very improbable.
Er, yeah.
Look Zaphod, she said, patting his arm, dont worry about the aliens. Theyre just a couple of guys I expect. Ill send the robot down to get them and bring them up here. Hey Marvin!
In the corner, the robots head swung up sharply, but then wobbled about imperceptibly. It pulled itself up to its feet as if it was about five pounds heavier that it actually was, and made what an outside observer would have thought was a heroic effort to cross the room. It stopped in front of Trillian and seemed to stare through her left shoulder.
I think you ought to know Im feeling very depressed, it said. Its voice was low and hopeless.
Oh God, muttered Zaphod and slumped into a seat.
Well, said Trillian in a bright compassionate tone, heres something to occupy you and keep your mind off things.
It wont work, droned Marvin, I have an exceptionally large mind.
Marvin! warned Trillian.
Alright, said Marvin, what do you want me to do?
Go down to number two entry bay and bring the two aliens up here under surveillance.
With a microsecond pause, and a finely calculated micromodulation of pitch and timbrenothing you could actually take offence atMarvin managed to convey his utter contempt and horror of all things human.
Just that? he said.
Yes, said Trillian firmly.
I wont enjoy it, said Marvin.
Zaphod leaped out of his seat.
Shes not asking you to enjoy it, he shouted, just do it will you?
Alright, said Marvin like the tolling of a great cracked bell, Ill do it.
Good snapped Zaphod, great thank you
Marvin turned and lifted his flat-topped triangular red eyes up towards him.
Im not getting you down at all am I? he said pathetically.
No no Marvin, lilted Trillian, thats just fine, really
I wouldnt like to think that I was getting you down.
No, dont worry about that, the lilt continued, you just act as comes naturally and everything will be just fine.
Youre sure you dont mind? probed Marvin.
No no Marvin, lilted Trillian, thats just fine, really just part of life.
Marvin flashed him an electronic look.
Life, said Marvin, dont talk to me about life.
He turned hopelessly on his heel and lugged himself out of the cabin. With a satisfied hum and a click the door closed behind him
I dont think I can stand that robot much longer Zaphod, growled Trillian.
The Encyclopaedia Galactica defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man. The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as Your Plastic Pal Whos Fun To Be With.
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as a bunch of mindless jerks wholl be the first against the wall when the revolution comes, with a footnote to the effect that the editors would welcome applications from anyone interested in taking over the post of robotics correspondent.
Curiously enough,
an edition of the Encyclopaedia Galactica that had the good fortune to fall through a time warp from a thousand years in the future defined the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the revolution came.
The pink cubicle had winked out of existence, the monkeys had sunk away to a better dimension. Ford and Arthur found themselves in the embarkation area of the ship. It was rather smart.
I think the ships brand new, said Ford.
How can you tell? asked Arthur. Have you got some exotic device for measuring the age of metal?
No, I just found this sales brochure lying on the floor. Its a lot of the Universe can be yours stuff. Ah! Look, I was right.
Ford jabbed at one of the pages and showed it to Arthur.
It says: Sensational new breakthrough in Improbability Physics. As soon as the ships drive reaches Infinite Improbability it passes through every point in the Universe. Be the envy of other major governments. Wow, this is big league stuff.
Ford hunted excitedly through the technical specs of the ship, occasionally gasping with astonishment at what he readclearly Galactic astrotechnology had moved ahead during the years of his exile.
Arthur listened for a short while, but being unable to understand the vast majority of what Ford was saying he began to let his mind wander, trailing his fingers along the edge of an incomprehensible computer bank, he reached out and pressed an invitingly large red button on a nearby panel. The panel lit up with the words Please do not press this button again. He shook himself.