However, there are also not quite ordinary people. I see them as three-dimensional, complex-composite, in each of them there are simultaneously several figures nested within one another or intersecting in space. For example, I am a pyramid inside a sphere, which is pierced from top to bottom and exactly in the center by lightning, that goes beyond the scope of the sphere. I became such figure over time, being a triangle from birth, I turned into a pyramid, overgrew with a sphere, and was struck by lightning in the end.
Looking at the Man Who Was Not with a different vision, I immediately realized that He was a complex figure too lightning inside a sphere located inside a cube. I needed him in order to remain on Earth. In the last period, each facet of life, one after another, suddenly collapsed, pinning me in a corner, cutting off oxygen, curling up like a snake loop around my neck. Standing on the edge of the Void, I was looking for a Door to Another, unknown to me Reality, but on the same earthly plane, so as not to disappear into the Other World until the hour of my next incarnation.
I felt lonely and wanted to talk with a person like me, at least similar to me, in our common language, inaccessible to others. I thought about Nonna, a famous clairvoyant, winner of the «Battle of Psychics» on TNT.
I wanted to meet her, but I had no idea where she lived in our huge world. Sighing heavily from an unrealizable dream, I went into a cafe next to my house to enjoy a tête-à-tête with coffee at least, but at the next table by the window I found Nonna.
«Hello!» I exclaimed in shock. «You are Nonna, I know! I need you.»
«What for? Is there anything I can do to help you?» She was surprised, because she always felt who she could help and who she couldnt.
«I just want to talk to you.»
«Okay, sit down,» Nonna sighed with relief. «Sorry, Im exhausted, a vampire has just called me.»
We looked at each other in silence for a while, then Nonna started spoking,
«Youre completely in a web. Torn between mother and son, you cannot combine them in this life. I see blood, a lot of blood, you are dead, just like me. You are one of us, you were There and opened the Door.»
I didnt tell Nonna what «web» meant. Spiders were the most terrible phenomenon for me in the Earthly Reality. I delved into myself for a long time to find an anchoring point, realizing that the reason belonged to the current incarnation, since in my early childhood I hadnt been afraid of spiders. Not getting to the bottom of the truth, I turned for help to Gera, one of my Teachers. She asked me leading questions, and I answered without hearing my own answers.
«Why are you afraid of a spider?»
«Its scary.»
«Why? Its so small and defenseless.»
I burst into a terrible laugh,
«Defenseless? Its huge and omnipotent!»
«What can it do to you?»
«It will kill me!»
«Imagine that you take it and put it in a box.»
«I cant even look at it from the outside and imagine it. How can I take it with my hands?» I shuddered.
«Okay, I take it and put it in a box. In a gift box. I tie it with a ribbon and a bow. What is this box like?»
«Its red. With black ribbons,» I answered automatically.
«Lets make a fire. Look, Im throwing the box into the fire. Its burning»
«It will never be burnt!» I screamed. «Its immortal! Eternal! It was, it is and it will be! It never dies! Look, the box has burned down, but its alive! Its crawling out of the fire!»
Gera sighed heavily. I almost cried. We parted on nothing, however, after walking about ten meters down the street, I stopped dead in my tracks because of an instant insight, a fragment from childhood that suddenly flashed before my eyes.
I was twelve. We were at our cottage. Sunday. Mom said that she felt really bad, that shouldnt happen after the surgery, she urgently needed to return home to the city to call an ambulance. We were sitting on the bench under an apple tree. I kept silent. It was starting to rain. I felt that the several options for the future existed the day before abruptly collapsed into the only one Death. I refused to believe it consciously and, as a result, I sent the terrible thought of Death to the Black Box of the Subconscious. And for a long, long time, almost until my mothers transition to Another Reality, I would think that she would definitely recover sooner or later. I understood that I was about to weep. Not to upset my mother, I ran, «escaping the rain,» to the barn in the farthest corner of the garden, where my friend, the little White Rabbit, lived. It was raining. I ran very fast, weeping, biting my lips just not to scream in despair. Having pulled the door towards me with all my strength, I buried my nose in the center of a huge web, neatly woven along the width of the doorway. A huge fat black spider with a large cross on its back sat right in front of me, and I screamed, «MA-A-MAAAAAAA!!!»
We talked with Nonna for a long time and even laughed at the ways the Knowledge used to come to us. She told me how my father had died. Then we opened our palms and held them opposite each other until Nonna said,
«Youre pushing, pressing hard! What a strong energy you have! I cant stand that, put your hands away, put them away.»
When I told her the way I wrote spells, Nonna exclaimed,
«Amazing! You dragged me along to another time! I fell through and saw a poor room, you and me inside, you were in another body, in something gray, some kind of shawl, and a kerosene lamp was burning there. What was that, Alice? Silver Age?»
I shrugged my shoulders, and Nonna continued, «Now I see a book, yours. With spells. Magic. On the bookshelves. It will be released in less than a year, and youll become a famous spell-caster, do you believe me? The number 37 comes to me. Take care of yourself! You can die. Surgery or something else. I see blood, a lot of blood. And if you survive, so then»
The fortune-teller in Rome predicted a terrible car accident for me, but she didnt tell me when. The palmist-astrologer in India didnt say what exactly, but said «36». Nonna said «37», a surgery or something with a sea of blood. However, I had already been dying, and Death is not as terrible as doctors.
I didnt get sick with anything and had practically no contact with the type of people who played the game «Lets heal everyone!» and called themselves doctors, until I died for the first time at the age of 11 and was brought back. My cousin dreamed of joining them since childhood. Every time she stated that out loud, our grandmother sighed heavily and, like monks fingering a rosary, listed all the items that her granddaughter due to her girlish memory would be able to forget during a surgery in the patients body. However, someone was very lucky, since my cousin didnt become a surgeon. She works with those called insane here.
However, after resuscitation, my physical body liked to play pranks. Periodically, it asked questions that puzzled the doctors. At first they tried to treat me like ordinary people, but my bodys reaction was exactly the opposite of the expected. Then they used a creative approach, setting up experiments, prescribing everything in a row. As a child, my mother taught me to be obedient and patient, but one day I couldnt stand it anymore and demanded at least some kind of diagnosis. The doctors resisted for a long time, pretending not to understand what I wanted from them, because all those years they tried so hard to help me, and despite the fact that several times due to their efforts I had ended up more There than Here, I was still alive. Apparently, I was too tired, so I showed excessive persistence, and a miracle happened. I was given a referral for an examination, as a result of which it turned out that what was happening to me was unknown to science, and, accordingly, I had to negotiate with my physical body directly, without intermediaries. Believe it or not, I was happy about such diagnosis. The doctors were upset just as much as I was overjoyed.