She will talk about it! Auntie Zina in your head will repeat it again and again. As for Victor, he has Uncle Joe or another subpersonality instead of Zina.
– ☺
– Your task is to “turn off the microphone” immediately as soon as Auntie Zina starts speaking. That’s enough! You are done with her talks! You have been listening to her for years.
– Yes!
– I will tell you about the lifestyle of a slim person tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. When you tell me your opinion, I’ll be able to understand who’s talking to me: “OK, that’s Anna… And Auntie Zina grabs the microphone and starts to complain, berate and justify herself!”
“I am slim” – it sounds like music for my soul!
– How to become slim?
To achieve your goal, you have to understand one crucial thing.
What makes a person slim? His body or his mind?
– His mind.
– Of course. Have you met some people without any excess weight who keep saying that they are fat?
– Certainly.
– Some people are overweight, but they say: “I am fine, I am slim enough.” So, in many respects, it’s a matter of perception.
For example, an overweight person draws a house, a tree, and a person.
They call it projective techniques. What do psychologists try to understand, analyzing such pictures?
– Problems.
– Problems of the person, his character, and his mental state. An overweight person usually draws a person like this: big head, small body, sticks instead of arms, and legs. Why?
– The body is not important to him.
– Moreover, a body is almost absent in the picture. If we cherish and appreciate something in our life, do we pay attention to it?
– Sure.
– This picture demonstrates that the person doesn’t pay attention to his body. Over the years of counseling, I met many people who hate their fat bodies. They even become aggressive against their bodies.
A person sits in front of a psychologist, crying, shaking his tummy with his hands. He says: “Look at my leg! It’s disgusting!”
His mind lives a life of its own. It has nothing to do with the fat body as if it was not his decision to make it fat and maintain this condition. The lousy body has only itself to blame.
– And some circumstances.
– Yes. It just happened, the body gained four pounds again.
As they say: “My weight has become heavier.” Of course, the body is growing bigger and bigger on its own.
– ☺
– “What? You’ve gained another ten pounds, my lousy body? I’m done. I’ll stick the needles into you and stuff you with medicines. Gained twenty pounds? OK, I’ll take you to a surgeon, and he will cut off pieces from you!”
– It’s no good.
– But the head considers it to be a great solution. There is no harmony. Head and body live separately from each other. They have a relationship similar to relationship of whom?
– Enemies.
– Enemies or who else? Head constantly berates body, browbeats it…
– Boss and subordinate.
– Precisely, boss and subordinate. Besides, the head is a very sophisticated boss. Smart. Well-educated. As for the body, it’s the worst subordinate you’ve ever met. A stupid, defective person. A walking disaster.
Then this type of relationship transforms into the relationship of… Whom? What other types of relationship between head and body can you imagine? If it’s not “Boss vs subordinate”, then… Give me more constructive versions.
– Parents.
– A parent and a child. Yes. Mom loves her daughter even if she is not perfect, right?
– Yes.
– Agree? Even when her daughter is nasty, when she is coughing, when her hair is filthy. Mom still loves her child even when she returned home too late with a broken knee and cut finger, dirty from head to toe. Mom still loves her. Right?
– Of course.
– Mom loves her anyway.
Head loves its body too: “You have to lose some weight, and then I’ll take you to the beach.” Body: “I want to the beach now!”
– ☺
– “Have you seen yourself in the mirror? At first, you have to lose at least thirty pounds. Then you can go there.” Body: “I want to the swimming pool!” Head: “All people there look like Belvedere Apollo and Aphrodite. And when you jump into the water, it will overflow over the edge! Besides, you’ll have to experience five meters of shame from the pool to the changing room and back. No. No swimming pool for you!” Body: “I want it. And I want to be loved and cherished!” Head: “What are you talking about?! Drop forty pounds, massage, fitness, cosmetology, and then you’ll get some love! Maybe.” That’s how the conversation goes.
– ☺
– The person gets less pleasure and joy. The only source of comfort is excessive food. So, the body eats more and more!
Meanwhile, the head keeps saying: “Genes?! Forget it.
We’ll cut them off too.”
That’s how it goes.
As soon as we’ve got a “devoted mother and daughter” relationship or “a loving mother and son” relationship, and then the care that we were talking about before occurs.
Let’s do an exercise to move towards this desired model. Actually, we won’t do it. You will write it down and then do it at home. Please, use a blank sheet allocated for homework. You have to hole up tonight or tomorrow morning. I guess the bathroom is the best choice, as no one will bother you there, and there is a latch on the door.
– Take a tub…
– No!
– ☺
– Take your clothes off and look at your naked body. Those parts of the body that cause intense negative emotions or even some kind of rejection, resentment, these particular parts of your body need kind words and tender touches.
If it’s a leg, then touch your leg. If it’s your tummy, then touch your tummy. Touch them tenderly and say a few kind words: “My dear leg, we are recovering. There is a beautiful slim leg inside of you…”
You know that it is still there, right?
– ☺
– OK. Some people tell me: “I can’t tell my leg anything good.” There is a slim beautiful leg inside. You are slim people. But your beautiful bodies are hiding inside of you. Look, there are bones, muscles, internals, skin. You have everything you need for a harmonious life.
A certain amount of excess fat tissue conceals some parts of your slim body.
We will part with this extra fatty tissue step by step during our session. Soon your slim body that is hiding inside of you now will appear again!
Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs A funny story has just come into my mind. My mother always believed that I was pretty, but she said that I had no neck. In her opinion, my head ran straight into my shoulders. I disagreed:
“Look, Mom, here it is. I do have a neck!” Then, after the session, I got slimmer and slimmer. One day Mom told me: “Olga, I’ve just noticed that you have such a beautiful neck. You have to open it!”
I had been chunky since I was a child. I could only guess what was hiding under the accursed fat step by step, I got to know myself, I began to learn about myself and my body. I can’t say that I am absolutely pleased with the result, but when I look in the mirror, look at my “before” and “after” photos – I am still amazed at the changes that have occurred in me.
It’s a wonderful life.
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– Then say yourself: “My body is slim, it’s getting healthier every day. Nice tummy, perhaps you’ll be half an inch smaller in four days. I’ll follow all the recommendations!” And the body responds with gratitude. A woman told me recently: “I holed up, started to say something good to myself. I was touching myself kindly, saying good words to my body, and suddenly tears ran down my face… I guess I wept for half an hour.” I asked her: “What did you feel?” She replied: “I felt so sorry for myself! I had been treating myself like trash. And then I finally understood that I am good!”
You have to do these exercises. It will be interesting and useful. Tomorrow I will ask you about the results. I will not ask about the details. I will just ask whether you did it or not, whether you were able to say kind words to your body and touch it with love or not.