– Silly idiot.
– Yes, I believe you! I think you are honest. You speak from your heart! What else did you say?
– Why have I eaten so much?
– You sound too intelligent: “Why have I eaten so much?”
Imagine a forty-year-old person who has just devoured eight hamburgers. She is alone in the kitchen. She has just ruined his diet. No doubt, the woman would use some bad words. One of participants from another group assumed: “Well, she said to herself: “Oh, what a spineless piggy I am!”
– Do you believe it? Do you think Zina would say this?
– Dummy, idiot!
– What other names would she call herself in such a case? Perhaps some domestic animals?
– Pig!
– Pig. Yes, it’s possible. Maybe some horned animal then?
– Cow.
– Cow!
– ☺
– All the other words she uses should be bleeped…
– ☺
– …cause I’m sure she kicked herself to the fullest. What does she feel? What emotions is she experiencing?
– She feels guilty.
– Precisely. Of course, she feels guilty. Is she hurt?
– She suffered for so long…
– Moment of weakness – and she ruined everything. ☺
– Yes! Is she angry?
– Yes.
– So, what does she feel finally?
– She feels sorry for herself.
– Of course. Self-pity. Zina knows how to comfort herself. Some sweets will help a lot! No, Galina, hamburger won’t work in this case. It’s hard to comfort yourself with a hamburger.
– ☺
– She raises her hand like this… and throws it down!
– Fine!
– Screw it!
– Life is ruined, all labor is for nothing. Everything is rotten. Zina opens fridge, buffet… As you remember, she bought lots of food recently, so her food reserves are huge! Zina eats one treat after another, comforting herself, searching for relief from negative emotions. Actually, she was going to eat some sweets.
– ☺
– Instead, she ate up… Much more than she planned. Reflexively. Sweets and chocolates jump into her mouth one after another! Zina opens her mouth, and they jump into it – hop-hop! The next moment she sits in her chair, cursing herself: “How could you…” She calls herself bad names: “Idiot, pig, cow, dummy…” She is angry and offended. And she blames herself again! It’s late evening, almost night. Her family is sleeping, and Zina is “washing dishes” in her “favorite” room.
– ☺
– Then she can’t eat anymore. Her stomach is full. Of course, she decides that…
– Again.
– It’s time to lose weight. ☺
– It’s time to lose weight.
– ☺
– Zina goes to her bedroom, thinking that all she needs for success is another diet, cause this one was “improper”. Besides, she feels guilty. She failed the diet! Zina blames herself. Therefore, she has to wash the guilt away. With blood or something! Zina feels that she has to be punished! She has to do something.
Do you have any ideas? What can wash the guilt away? What should she get?
– Punishment!
– Hunger!
– Yes, as an option!
Hunger. Long-time starvation, perhaps, even without drinking water. Dry starving, as they call it. I can’t believe that some people keep a diet without drinking any water.
Jogging!
“Well, what else can I do to myself?” Enema!
“Acupuncture, and forced vomiting, then I’ll join an equestrian club as a horse. Oh, I’ll make myself lose weight at any price!”
– Do you think we can help her?
– Yes, we can.
– Sketch the following diagram, please.
This is a classic pattern of an eating disorder.
It is very simple, but millions of people on the Earth follow it day by day, month by month, year by year. There are two circles in this diagram. The large circle is for physiological aspects, and the small circle is for psychological aspects.
Where should we start to help Zina?
– She needs desire.
– Right. She needs desire.
– Take away Hunger.
– Eugenia, you are right.
N.B.! Hunger is forbidden! We have to eat four-six times a day. Regular balanced meals.
Would we meet Mr. Eating-Frenzy in that case?
– No.
– Of course not.
Over-eating is a pathologic state. Extreme emotional narrowed state of consciousness, extreme emotional disturbance, if it is proven, is considered to be a mitigating circumstance for any crime, even murder. As we see, Zina accumulates hunger impulses and brings herself to the state when she is not able to control herself anymore. She just can’t stop eating!
When people were taken out of besieged Leningrad, and, outside the siege ring, they finally got access to food, they were told: “You shouldn’t eat a lot right away. Eat a little bit today, then a little more tomorrow. Increase your food portion day by day, and then, probably, you will survive.” What did they do? Some people sneaked into the storerooms at night. They even broke locks, gorged with food and died from intestinal obstruction. It’s impossible to stop a person from over-eating even under penalty of death if he falls into the eating frenzy. If we feed our Hunger with tasty, hearty, and rational food regularly, we won’t face eating-frenzy.
Praise and discountenance
Should we do something about our habit of criticizing ourselves?
– It should be forbidden!
– Of course. More than that – I advise you to start praising yourself! You fed yourself – “Good job!” You’ve done something good for yourself, treat yourself well – “What a good girl (or a boy)!”
Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs This story about Zina came into my mind again. I had a good laugh and then started to think about it. When I heard this fact of life, it was a shock for me. Why? It’s a simple description of my typical behavior, my actions. But I’ve never understood or realized it before.
Just like most of us, I blamed and scolded myself, called myself an idiot. Of course, I still call myself an idiot sometimes, but in other life situations. Now I praise and indulge myself much more often, and I advise everyone to do the same. Moreover, I allow all the other people around to pay me compliments and enjoy them so much! Why not? I deserved it. I am smart, slim, and beautiful.
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– Many people do not have a habit of praising themselves. It’s really bad because then they start to kick and blame themselves. It makes everything even worse. Mood, self-esteem, well-being, and efficiency – all these factors are getting lower.
Words like “idiot,” “pig,” “cow,” “screwhead,” “ham-handed,” “you are terrible” – come from childhood. Then a person grows up, but there are hours and hours of “audio records” in his head, in his memory. Parents and teachers scolded us when we were kids. Then a person grows up and starts to scold himself just like his parents and teachers did before. He spoils his life with this endless scolding without even knowing it. There is an old Chinese saying: “Call yourself a pig for ten times, and you will grunt.”
What if you call yourself a superstar ten times?
– You’ll shine and twinkle!
– That’s why we have to praise ourselves!
Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs. As they say: “Say good things about yourself often. The source will be forgotten, but the information will stay”. The others will see your good, positive side too.
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
– So, self-scolding is forbidden.
That’s why we praise ourselves. I’ll give you at least a few reasons. Please tell me what we improve by praising ourselves regularly.
– Mood.
– Fine. What else?
– Self-esteem.
– Of course. When we are in a good mood and appreciate ourselves, how will it affect our lives? What will be improved?
– Relationship!
– Yes! Besides, we become more productive, both at work and at the creative activity. Wherever you look, there are only advantages.
But it’s so hard to make people praise themselves. I have to force them to do it. Most people do not have this good habit.
Let’s write down our homework. Set aside one clean sheet for homework. It would help if you wrote down there all the homework. Now, write down your first task. Tomorrow morning you have to praise yourself at least five times until our meeting. You should especially praise yourself for self-nurturing. I fed myself regularly – well done, I took lunch to work – what a clever girl. I overslept and came late to work – it’s OK, at least I’ve got enough sleep. Well done!