«You're adorable! Really…»
I involuntarily reached out, and he grabbed me, picked me up and carried to the kitchen in his arms…
Stepan and Daniel with their painted cards were waiting for me there! They wrapped their arms around my legs and pressed themselves against me.
Lord, how touching it is!
Today I took a day off.
We decided to postpone the birthday, or rather its celebration, for Saturday.
After all, it's such a date!
33…)))
Hooray!
Or not hooray!..
We will definitely not arrange it at home. Igor and I will go to a restaurant. No! We'll take the boys with us.
We'll dress up like it's a red carpet!
I want this day to be remembered…
Today, at about eleven, my father called.
He was worried as he spoke. He said he was very sorry that he could not be near. It seemed to me that he was already ready to burst into tears when Taska grabbed the phone and said that dad asked her to come… He didn't feel well lately…
I took a promise from her to tell me about everything she would notice. Maybe I would need to fly to my father myself. Although he promised me that if he was okay, he would definitely come to see his grandchildren and simply get away.
My father did not take vacations for many years, and now he said he was very tired.
Then I even burst into tears.
Daddy, what kind of fools you and mom were!
Igor took the boys to school and went to work, saying he would be late, since he had classes with third-year students and an autopsy…
Again I stumbled upon Taska's book. She gave it to me when she went by to St. Petersburg for a couple of days on her way to Amsterdam and Hanover.
The book was written by some great Australian numerologist.
Yeah!
David Phillips…
For three hours I was dealing with our numbers and arrows.
That's interesting!
I tried to calculate my control number:
04/23/1985 = 4 + 2 + 3 + 1+9 + 8 + 5 = 32!
It turned out to be the opposite of 23[7]…
Then: 3 + 2 = 5.
The control number is 5.
And if you add the numbers of our year of birth:
1 + 9 + 8 + 5 = 23!!!
(Again!)
Then I wrote out a description of people whose control number was 5:
«Most of these people have a hard time working on a fixed schedule. If they are still forced to do this, they always see this as the fault of their boss and, as a result, suffer from illnesses caused by stress. They should find work that would allow… becoming a freelance writer or artist…»
And this one is exactly about Taska:
«…Many of them have a strong craving for adventure and willingly go on trips…
Impressions from travels and past experiences, acquired with wisdom and awareness, may turn out to be the most valuable ways to achieve freedom and enlightenment…»
«…The main driving force in everything they do is love for people…»
How is that?
I don't know how, but this author knows exactly what he is writing about!
I tried to draw personality arrows…
Looks like a tic-tac-toe!)))
Phew!
Everything's all right here!
We've got at least two arrows:
ARROWS OF EMOTIONAL EQUILIBRIUM: 2-5-8
«… The balanced sensitivity of people with this Arrow helps them understand the needs and attitudes of others. This ability can be perfectly used in work related to counseling and treatment…»
ARROWS OF DECISION: 9-5-1
«…Decisiveness underlies all the actions of these people…
One of the most difficult lessons for such people is the acceptance of the fact that not all of the plans will be implemented…»
Taska seems to have something about numbers:
One Thousand Thousand in This City…
Part III
Dorian
Chapter 1
The Mirror Theory
The reference point has always been important to me.
When I first realized myself and thought about who I am, I began to analyze. Why events take place in such a sequence and lead precisely to such a definite ending?
After all, there are a lot of options to develop a particular life scheme. It all depends… On what kind of transport you got to work, whether the janitor stopped you to ask what time it was. It depends on everything. Moreover, there are moments that involve not only you in this scheme, but also capture other people.
This is the turning point.
Of course, you ignore them, trying not to notice. Not to notice that for someone you have become the center of the universe, at least temporarily. You can leave, change your name… But the feeling that you did not take your chance, got scared or confused will haunt you for the rest of your life. And then your internal monologues will begin like this: «If only I could then imagine…» or «God damn it, I even saw a sign!..»
Everyone calls her Taska. Of course, it's Eva's fault. She was the first to say «Taska» for some reason. And now Tatyana responds to this strange and ancient name. Personally, I like to call her Tanya, but she always shrugs so funny when she hears her name. For nine years, she hasn't gotten used to it…
Now I'm thinking about her again. I am sure that she recalls me too. We have a telepathic connection. When we call up, the phone is always busy. It's us, calling each other at the same time. We even agreed that if the line is busy, she drops her call and waits for mine. We are a perfect couple.
The trouble is we can't be together. Why? It's simple. You can't look in the mirror all the time. You'll get bored.
Of course, at the very beginning of our acquaintance there was a turning moment.
How much time has passed since then?
Maybe a month from the very moment when I felt her staring caressing look… She unceremoniously examined everyone in the first composition class. But her tenacious gaze, returning every time, was fixed somewhere around my shoulder blades. Maybe someone has wings there, someone, according to Carlos Castaneda, has an «assembly point», but, feeling that she's interested, I just got up, grabbed a chair and sat next to her.
This is how we first met. We fooled around, went to the cinema. We argued and read the same books. Once we even got drunk and, waking up in the same bed completely naked, could not remember if we had done anything. The head just cracked. But from that day we did not think about having sex together or even dream about it.
Or at least it was me who didn't want to.
Not because both of us connected it with a stupid headache. The real reason was much deeper. Somewhere beyond understanding. After all, I really love Taska. I'm jealous. I miss her. I want to spend my time with her. This crap is totally inexplicable.
Then, for some reason, right after that incident, I told her about Kira…
The image of Kira became somehow voluminous. I swear I could even imagine her laughing eyes, green, cunning and so inviting…
It's like circles on the water. The stone has long been at the bottom, while circles still creep along the river, further and further from the center. Therefore, it is difficult to return to the beginning. I do not want to confess in front of Taska again. I don't remember the whole truth myself. The more I remember Kira, the more difficult it is to recall her face. She's just some kind of a bright spot, a smile, a voice. The only constant sensation is a warm, tickling wave in which my heart flutters when I think of her.
Of course, I told Taska different things about mirror theory. And not even to convince her. I myself wanted, voicing a sudden stunning thought, to affirm it in my head. For some reason, our planet is divided into two hemispheres, and if it's early morning in Moscow, somewhere in Florida people still fill up bars and restaurants, having a pleasant warm evening with friends.
And if there are more than seven billion people living on Earth, what is the likelihood that God will have a free soul to fill someone's newly born body? And if this is so, then it is simple to give it, that is, a free soul, to two individuals living on different continents at once. To make it easier for it to return, people should be bound by a special thread… The thread of astral twins. I think those people should look similar. In any case, some habits, preferences and the character of such people will not be very different. Their soul will be forced to put up with life-long throwing, and having no preference for one of them, constantly return and fly away again…