and three feet of the crocodile’s tail along with it; nay, so little
attention has this fellow to the truth, that he sometimes adds, as soon
as the crocodile missed his tail, he turned about, snatched the _couteau
de chasse_ out of Monsieur’s hand, and swallowed it with such eagerness
that it pierced his heart and killed him immediately!
The little regard which this impudent knave has to veracity makes me
sometimes apprehensive that my _real facts_ may fall under suspicion, by
being found in company with his confounded inventions.
CHAPTER II
_In which the Baron proves himself a good shot – He loses his horse,
and finds a wolf – Makes him draw his sledge – Promises to entertain
his company with a relation of such facts as are well deserving their
notice._
I set off from Rome on a journey to Russia, in the midst of winter, from
a just notion that frost and snow must of course mend the roads, which
every traveller had described as uncommonly bad through the northern
parts of Germany, Poland, Courland, and Livonia. I went on horseback, as
the most convenient manner of travelling; I was but lightly clothed, and
of this I felt the inconvenience the more I advanced north-east.
What must not a poor old man have suffered in that severe weather and
climate, whom I saw on a bleak common in Poland, lying on the road,
helpless, shivering, and hardly having wherewithal to cover his
nakedness? I pitied the poor soul: though I felt the severity of the air
myself, I threw my mantle over him, and immediately I heard a voice from
the heavens, blessing me for that piece of charity, saying —
«You will be rewarded, my son, for this in time.»
I went on: night and darkness overtook me. No village was to be seen.
The country was covered with snow, and I was unacquainted with the road.
Tired, I alighted, and fastened my horse to something like a pointed
stump of a tree, which appeared above the snow; for the sake of safety I
placed my pistols under my arm, and laid down on the snow, where I slept
so soundly that I did not open my eyes till full daylight. It is not
easy to conceive my astonishment to find myself in the midst of a
village, lying in a churchyard; nor was my horse to be seen, but I heard
him soon after neigh somewhere above me. On looking upwards I beheld him
hanging by his bridle to the weather-cock of the steeple. Matters were
now very plain to me: the village had been covered with snow overnight;
a sudden change of weather had taken place; I had sunk down to the
churchyard whilst asleep, gently, and in the same proportion as the snow
had melted away; and what in the dark I had taken to be a stump of a
little tree appearing above the snow, to which I had tied my horse,
proved to have been the cross or weather-cock of the steeple!
Without long consideration I took one of my pistols, shot the bridle
in two, brought the horse, and proceeded on my journey. [Here the Baron
seems to have forgot his feelings; he should certainly have ordered his
horse a feed of corn, after fasting so long.]
He carried me well – advancing into the interior parts of Russia. I found
travelling on horseback rather unfashionable in winter, therefore I
submitted, as I always do, to the custom of the country, took a single
horse sledge, and drove briskly towards St. Petersburg. I do not exactly
recollect whether it was in Eastland or Jugemanland, but I remember that
in the midst of a dreary forest I spied a terrible wolf making after me,
with all the speed of ravenous winter hunger. He soon overtook me. There
was no possibility of escape. Mechanically I laid myself down flat in
the sledge, and let my horse run for our safety. What I wished, but
hardly hoped or expected, happened immediately after. The wolf did not
mind me in the least, but took a leap over me, and falling furiously on
the horse, began instantly to tear and devour the hind-part of the poor
animal, which ran the faster for his pain and terror. Thus unnoticed and
safe myself, I lifted my head slyly up, and with horror I beheld that
the wolf had ate his way into the horse’s body; it was not long before
he had fairly forced himself into it, when I took my advantage, and fell
upon him with the butt-end of my whip. This unexpected attack in his
rear frightened him so much, that he leaped forward with all his might:
the horse’s carcase dropped on the ground, but in his place the wolf
was in the harness, and I on my part whipping him continually: we
both arrived in full career safe at St. Petersburg, contrary to our
respective expectations, and very much to the astonishment of the
spectators.
I shall not tire you, gentlemen, with the politics, arts, sciences, and
history of this magnificent metropolis of Russia, nor trouble you with
the various intrigues and pleasant adventures I had in the politer
circles of that country, where the lady of the house always receives the
visitor with a dram and a salute. I shall confine myself rather to
the greater and nobler objects of your attention, horses and dogs, my
favourites in the brute creation; also to foxes, wolves, and bears, with
which, and game in general, Russia abounds more than any other part of
the world; and to such sports, manly exercises, and feats of gallantry
and activity, as show the gentleman better than musty Greek or Latin, or
all the perfume, finery, and capers of French wits or _petit-maîtres_.
CHAPTER III
_An encounter between the Baron’s nose and a door-post, with its
wonderful effects – Fifty brace of ducks and other fowl destroyed by one
shot – Flogs a fox out of his skin – Leads an old sow home in a new way,
and vanquishes a wild boar._
It was some time before I could obtain a commission in the army, and
for several months I was perfectly at liberty to sport away my time and
money in the most gentleman-like manner. You may easily imagine that I
spent much of both out of town with such gallant fellows as knew how to
make the most of an open forest country. The very recollection of
those amusements gives me fresh spirits, and creates a warm wish for
a repetition of them. One morning I saw, through the windows of my
bed-room, that a large pond not far off was covered with wild ducks. In
an instant I took my gun from the corner, ran down-stairs and out of
the house in such a hurry, that I imprudently struck my face against
the door-post. Fire flew out of my eyes, but it did not prevent my
intention; I soon came within shot, when, levelling my piece, I observed
to my sorrow, that even the flint had sprung from the cock by the
violence of the shock I had just received. There was no time to be lost.
I presently remembered the effect it had on my eyes, therefore opened
the pan, levelled my piece against the wild fowls, and my fist against
one of my eyes. [The Baron’s eyes have retained fire ever since, and
appear particularly illuminated when he relates this anecdote.] A hearty
blow drew sparks again; the shot went off, and I killed fifty brace of
ducks, twenty widgeons, and three couple of teals. Presence of mind is
the soul of manly exercises. If soldiers and sailors owe to it many of
their lucky escapes, hunters and sportsmen are not less beholden to it
for many of their successes. In a noble forest in Russia I met a fine
black fox, whose valuable skin it would have been a pity to tear by ball
or shot. Reynard stood close to a tree. In a twinkling I took out my
ball, and placed a good spike-nail in its room, fired, and hit him so
cleverly that I nailed his brush fast to the tree. I now went up to him,
took out my hanger, gave him a cross-cut over the face, laid hold of my
whip, and fairly flogged him out of his fine skin.