“Here there are no opportunities to have fun,” he continued, in a more insinuating tone now. Casually, at least apparently, he moved a lock of hair from my forehead. I suddenly moved backwards, annoyed by his warm breath on my face.
“Perhaps the next time I touch you, you’ll appreciate it more,” he said, not at all offended.
The confidence with which he spoke sparked my fury. “There won’t be a next time,” I hissed. “I’m not seeking for distractions, and certainly not of this kind.”
“Sure, sure. For the moment.”
I remained silent, even though I would have liked to give him a kick in the shin, or a slap on his unpleasant face.
I marched down the hallway, ignoring his quiet laughter.
I was already opening the door to my room, when Mr Mc Laine’s door sprung open, and I could clearly hear his voice, no longer stifled.
“Get out of this house, Mc Intosh! And if you really want to do me a favour, don’t come back anymore.”
The doctor's response was calm, as if he were used to those bursts of anger.
“I'll be back, Sebastian, at the same time next Tuesday. Oh, and I'm glad to find you as healthy as a fish. Your appearance and your body can compete with those of a twenty year old boy.”
“What good news, Mc Intosh.” The voice of the other was ironic. “I’ll go out to celebrate. Maybe I'll also go dancing.”
The doctor closed the door without answering. As he turned, he saw me and gave me a tired smile. “You’ll get used to his dancing moods. He’s quite pleasant when he wants to be. That is, very rarely.”
I loyally ran in defence of my boss. “Anyone in his place...”
Mc Intosh kept smiling. “Not anyone. Everyone reacts in his own way, Miss. Keep that in mind. After fifteen years he should have at least accepted it. But I'm afraid Sebastian doesn’t know the meaning of this word. He's so...” He had a slight hesitation. “…passionate. In the broadest sense of the word. He’s impetuous, volcanic, and stubborn. It’s a terrible tragedy that this happened to him of all people.” He shook his head, as if the divine retributions seemed unfathomable to him, then he briefly bid me farewell and left.
At that point I didn’t know what to do. I looked at the door to my room. I was tempted to run inside and hide. I was afraid to face Mc Laine after his recent anger. Even though it wasn’t addressed to me. Once again the decision was made for me.
“Miss Bruno! Come here right now!”
To be heard through that thick oak door, he had to shout out loud. This was too much for my shaken nerves. I opened his door; my feet moved by force of inertia.
It was the first time I entered his bedroom, but the furniture left me indifferent. My eyes were instantly attracted to the figure lying on the bed.
“Where's Kyle?” He asked me sharply. “He’s the laziest person I've ever known.”
“I'll go look for him,” I offered, happy to have a plausible excuse to escape from that room, that man and that moment.
He shocked me with the strength of his cold look. “Later. Now come in.”
Somehow the fear I felt subsided enough to let me to enter his room with a high head.
“Can I do something for you?”
“And what could you do?” An ironic smile quivered on his full lips. “Give me your legs? Would you do it, if it was possible Melisande Bruno? How much are your legs worth? One, two, three million pounds?”
“I would never do it for money,” I said impulsively.
“He levered his weight on his elbows, and stared at me.” What about love? Would you do it for love, Melisande Bruno?”
He was teasing me, as usual, I told myself. Yet, for a few moments, I had the impression that invisible wind gusts were pushing me in his arms. The momentary moment of madness passed and I recovered, recalling that this was an unknown stranger in front of me, and not the sparkling prince in shining armour that I couldn’t dream of. And certainly not a man who could fall in love with me. Under normal circumstances I would never have been in that room, sharing his most intimate moments. A moment in which he wore no mask, bereft of any defences, stripped of any formality imposed by the outside world.
“I’ve never loved anyone, sir,” I said thoughtfully. “Therefore I don’t know what I would do in that case. Would I make such a sacrifice for my loved one? I don’t know. Really.”
His eyes didn’t leave me, as if they were unable to do so. Or maybe I was just imagining it, because that was how I felt at that moment.
“It's a purely hypothetical question, Melisande. Do you think that if you really fell in love with someone... you would give him your legs, or your soul?” His expression was unreadable.
“Would you do it, sir?”
At this point, he laughed. A laugh that echoed in the room, unexpected and fresh as spring wind.
“I would, Melisande. Maybe because I’ve loved, and I know what it feels like.” He glanced at me, as if he expected me to make some questions, but I didn’t. I didn’t know what to say. He could talk about wine or astronomy, and the result would’ve been the same. I wasn’t able to debate about love. Because, in fact, I had no idea of what it was.
“Bring the wheelchair nearer,” he said finally, in a commanding tone.
Pleased to fulfil a task I was prepared for, I obeyed. His arms struggled in the effort, and he slipped into his torture device with a consummate ability. It was so hated, but necessary and precious.
“I understand how you feel,” I said compassionately.
He looked up at me. A vein pulsed in his right temple, triggered by my comment.
“You have no idea how I feel,” he said succinctly. “I’m different. Different, do you understand?”
“I’ve been different since I was born, sir. I can understand you, believe me,” I weakly defended myself.
He tried to catch my gaze, but I didn’t allow him.
There was a knock on the door, and I welcomed Kyle’s arrival, who walked in with a blank expression.
“Do you need me, Mr Mc Laine?”
The writer made a gesture of anger. “Where have you been, you lazy bum?”
A flash of rebellion flickered in the assistant’s eyes, but he didn’t comment.
“Wait for me in the study, Miss Bruno,” Mc Laine told me, his voice still trembling with repressed violence.
I didn’t look back as I left.
Chapter four
Several days passed before I managed to recover the initial alchemy with the owner of Midnight Rose.
I avoided Kyle like a plague, to discourage even the slightest hope he might have. His greedy eyes always sought to capture mine, every time he met me. But I kept him at arm’s length, hoping that it would be enough to dissuade him from trying new, unpleasant approaches.
On the other hand, I began to appreciate Mrs Mc Millian’s company. She was a smart woman, not a busybody as I had mistakenly judged her at first. She was totally loyal toward Mr Mc Laine, and this quality brought us very close. I carried out my duties with a passionate diligence, glad to be able, at least in part, to take some weight off his shoulders. I missed our arguments, and my heart threatened to explode when they resumed.
They started again unexpectedly, as they had the first time.
“Damn!”
I abruptly lifted my head, as I leaned over some of the documents I was rearranging. His eyes were closed, and he had a vulnerable expression on his boyish face that stirred me.
“Are you all right?”
His gaze was very cold, and I almost regretted that he had reopened his eyes.
“It's my damn publisher,” he explained, waving a sheet. The letter had arrived with the morning mail and I hadn’t paid attention to it. It was my duty to sort through the mail, and I regretted not having given it to him sooner. Maybe he was angry with me for having missed an important letter. His next words revealed the mystery.
“I wish I had never received this letter,” he said disgustedly. “He demands that I send him the rest of the manuscript.”
My silence seemed to fuel his fury. “And I have no other chapters to send him.”
“I’ve seen you write for days” I dared to say, puzzled.